13th Sep'06

yo world (:
the past few papers have been alrighttt
its not tt they're superb easy or Superb tough
but, i refuse to think more abt it
after all the thoughts, i still think..
Come wat may!
i've done wat i can.
and the rest, i shall just leave it to the one frm above to decide for me
i just rrly hope tt i can take the outcome later on

whats left!
chem
A maths paper 2
physics
E maths paper 2
chinese

praise God that i did my lit alright,
praise God that A maths was attemptable,
praise God that geo wasnt tt bad afterall

and the list goes on! (:
i've been feeling that everyday indeed, is becoming more n more beautiful
perhaps its because i've finally found that small little missing which i dun rrly noe wat it is in actual fact
anyHow,
He directed me to this verse ytd
and its really beautiful indeed :

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God,
to those who are the called according to His purpose"
-Romans 8:28

indeed, all things work for good to those who love my almighty God (:
because i know it and i believe in it
i cant say that things are pleasantly smooth
in fact, they arent really what we expect them to be
but life's not just about the things on this earth
my God made me see beyond everything,
just everything!

--


i am currently using my bro's phone
at least its cooler than my old one
haha, the old one's spoilt

i had an Awesome dream last night(:
and i'm not saying it
someone once told me that if you want dreams to come true,
you shld tell anyone abt it
and so, i'm not telling!
hopefully, please please please come true
(:



i think i've placed a one too many (: alr
but i really do feel light and you can say, carefree on the inside
because..
she's talking to me just lyk before alr
and i am more than glad that things are close to perfect
and i look forward to after the exams
though it means being nearer to the big O's
oh man,
i Cant Wait!





present mirth hath present laughter, but whats to come is still unsure

8th sep'06

i had a nightmare last night!
what the crap.
i dreamnt that rachel n i had a Major arguement and everything ended just lyk that
it was so sad ): i almst cried in my dreams
and i dunno why, but cell grp was forming this politics grp during our exams period
and i didnt want to join cause of studies
but everyone threatened to kick me out if i refused
and i dreamnt i was talking to this someone on the phone when the connection was cut off
when i woke up,
i found myself holding my hp to my ear with no one on the line
Haha, rather ridiculous, i must say


i CANT find my pure lit book
someone please just pray for me
i dunno how i am i gonna study for it





santa is my best friend! because he has all the gifts (:

7th Sep'06

there are only two things to worry about:
either you are well or you are sick
if you are well, then there is nothing to worry about;
but if you are sick, there are two things to worry about;
either you will get well, or you will die
if you get well, there is nothing to worry about
if you die, there are only two tings to worry about
either you will go to heaven or hell
if you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about
but if you go to hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with friends,
you wont have time to worry

---


except the last part, i kindof agree with that
why worry!?
soon it'll all be over and we'll be seen rejoicing (:






life is good, but eternal life is better

5th Sep'06

The Difference


i got up early one morning
and rushed right into the day;
i had so much to accomplish
that i didnt have time to pray.
problems just tumbled about me,
and heavier came each task,
"why doesnt God help me?"
i wondered,
He answered, "you didnt ask".

i wanted to see joy and beauty,
but the day toiled on grey and bleak,
i wondered why God didnt show me,
He said, "you didnt seek".
i tried to come into God's presence;
i used all my keys at the lock,
God gently and lovingly chided,
"my child, you didnt knock".

i woke up early this morning,
and paused before entering the day;
i had so much to accomplish
that i had to take time to pray.




school was quite redundant today
we did chem prac and i Bleached my shirt on accident, while spilling some chemical on my shirt
): its Supposed to be blue and now its red
four Big red spots on the front of my shirt made prac so horrible today
the blues jus keep pouring in
i think i've said this a million n one times alr,
but i dun wanna graduation
oh well, i think thats life

i doubt i'll be coming in here any sooner,
so to ELANA TAN (:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVE for today
and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tmr!
((:






one day, you'll noe what i mean

4th Sep'06

hey world,
i studied with gradys today (:
the library has become my second home!

everyone's mourning the death of steve irwin,
well, i mourn too
i used to be so amazed by the way he handles those reptiles
but at the same time, my heart goes out to the stingray which caused his death
i think its probably feeling so guilty right now
imagine the thousands n millions of ppl cursing it
--


for a moment, i felt lyk i was used.
but den again, on the bright side of things, it doenst matter anymore.



shakespearean's love is so cool (:



lets love like we've never loved before

3rd Sep'06

hey world,
yes, about the topic on studying..
my plans for burning mid-night oil have gone all wrong so far
i always end up falling asleep
lets strive for over 50 hrs a week starting frm today
i dun believe i cant stay awake the whole night
if others can, why cant i?
angel was dozing off during sevice today
haha wrong choice on staying up late last night

--

just a couple of days ago, i received news that my classmate's dad passed away
and abt a week ago, i was told tt my Godma has to go for kidney dialysis
about two weeks ago, mum told me that my dad's friend Is Still suffering frm Aids, half alive
yes, all these info came within a short period of time
it seems lyk everyone's dying or suffering or death is approaching!
is it just coincidental or wat
everything has to do with death
and i have a friend,
who recently just inhabited some eating disorder
she practically starved herself but she's Not fat! skinnier than meee

i find it especially tough to open this golden mouth of mine, just to speak or tell adults abt Jesus Christ
if i had opened this mouth of mine, she probably wldnt be suffering now
it makes us feel terrible, filled with guilt
God, we neeed the courage

-

elana's laughter makes me laugh (:
and sandy, are you seeing this?
it feels lyk its been so long since we last hanged out, i dunno why!
i hope really everything will be fine after the exams

--

i was talking to rachel the other day,
wat happens if God approves of homosexuality?
she said by now, she wld have gone with this good pal of hers cause her friend isnt straight
but she's Awesome and superb sweet
even i agree that she wld have gone along with her
and den she asked, "what abt you?"
i thought and i realised, i wld have gone along with this other bung friend of mine too
haha
but then i thought again and i realised tt if homosexuality was approved by God,
i wouldnt even go with a bung,
i Would have been the bung instead
HAHA
relaxxx, i'm Straight and i have no thoughts of becoming a guy
but seriously, i think if the one frm above approves,
many things will not be wat they are now
to be honest, i supposed jue, althea, shrooms and rachel plus me wld have been unstraight ppl by now
haha, its rather funny when you think of it
will, its just cheap fun thinking of things lyk tt
esp when you realise the outcome
anyhow,
since God says no. we say no too (:
cause its so not right n Abnormal.

-

the past few days have been good honeymoon time for my parents
without the presence of my brother
and studying is more effective at hme
i sure hope their relationship is getting Sweeter n sweeter
but please, dun let it be shown in frnt of me
i cant take all that mushiness
i wonder what my bro's doing,
that lucky kid's probably eating some delicious italian pasta right now
he better bring some back for me!


anyhow,
we're gonna be some kiasu nerds and wait outside the library before it opens tmr
gradys, me and maybe rachel
because everyone's studying nowdays and everyone's fighting for the tables
and being desperate means you have to fight too


lets get it started (:




i think of you night and day, and you make my heart swayy

31st Aug'06

those were the moments, when things seemed smooth sailing
i've seen enough this week, both happy and sad
a few tears from someone who is part of my life
and i didnt rrly noe how to react.
i noe that, partially its because of me
everyone needs assurance and need to be told that they're impt
you're still as impt as before
am i?
you noe, i've been wondering if i am for so long

--

teachers' day went pretty well
and one of the performances cracked me up real badly (:
it was superb funny

my brother's leaving for italy today
he's gonna be gone for abt 2 wks long while i'll be hme studying
that lucky kid
its going to be rather lonely and barren at hme
how i wish i cld fly off with him

--

if i could make things better, i would
but for now, i dont know how to
used to speak abt reaching out and all those stuff
but then smth got me realising that we have to be strong first
i dont think i'm in the position
more or less, i've tried
i hope i can still be found
the light's getting dimmer
i wish that for once, He would find me
and me, i'll just sit in the corner and wait, hoping that i'm worthy enough for Him to come and assure me

"if you're walking with God, somehow, you'll be favourable in the eyes of others."
it was very true
am i still that favourable?



right here in this place, i just want to see your face

29th Aug'06

i dont really get it either.
i cant seem to understand what you want me to understand what you've been understanding all along.
this kindof sucks ):
i think i just felt tired for a moment.
-
hopefully things will be better after awhile


the teachers' day item got a lil screwd.
first we got in and then there was this re-audition.
and we arent in. and they said we cld put up with this lil item.
so we 'composed' this Beautiful song.
and now, it cannot be presented.
what crap?! ):
the song's beautiful! and the lyrics are so meaningful
i think the arrangement got so wronged, seriously.
only two sec four classes got in.
rahh, they shld just give priority to sec fours
and we all agree!


HRM. today's tuesday, tmr's thurs! class photo taking (:
i'm gona bring my Camera tmr !
i realised i have so few pictures of us in sch
and tmr's our Last proper lessons tgt as a class
after tmr, its prelims and den its revision in the hall
and i only realised it Today.
i didnt noe it had all be so soon
--

i looked thru my personal schedule today and i realised i'm a busy woman!
studied with rachel n sandy wong ytd!
and almst everyday's filled with either sch sutff or studies
theres hardly anytime left to play or hang out anymore.
i've been thinking of joby n junling alot lately.
i havent seen them since May
and i really miss them so much. i hope she rrly understands
this world's a demanding one
how am i to fulfil and satisfy everyone's needs, including mine?
"i'm dying with love present on this earth. and dying without it at the same time"
true huh? and we all say that love is beautiful.
its a tricky issue


funny how its seems lyk non christian friends appear to be more sensitive and understanding towards ur struggles.
it surprised me today.
normal people wldnt noe whats going on.
they probably wldnt even sense that smth Is wrong
i guess thats why God place these ppl ard me
for extra comfort (:
i told her that my soul's tired, if she noes what it meant.

--

i suppose JC life's gona be very different?
the blues just keep coming non-stop lately.
how wld we be by then?
will the way we sit, talk, act change?
the way you Burp after eating, changing in class, being rough n babaric.
its all so uncivilised. but i'm gona miss being uncivilised :D
cause' it had been so fun and interesting and carefree.
Hrm
NO. i dun wnat a class filled with ppl frm the opposite sex.
haha its gona be so different ):
being a sexist is cool.
i wanna be a sexist lar.
we were talking abt it today haha.
jue and althea! (:
guess wat?! both of them were mistook as guys in public before!
funny huh.
well, if you're wondering, i too had the same encounter
that was back then when i had Superb Short hair.
and the auntie practically said to my mum in frnt of me,
"woahh not bad, you have two boys!" -in chinese and i was with my bro
my mum practically pulled a black face at me the whole day, lecturing non-stop
haha
i think its so hilarious esp encounters with the toilet.
awhile ago, i was in china with my bung friend.
she Had to go to the toilet urgently but when we appraoch the toilet,
the toilet auntie appeared and she refused to let my friend in?!
she was lyk,
"dun bluff me. i noe you're a boy, go to the gents!"
my friend was practically jumping ard, she was so urgent Haha
superb funny :D i had to smuggle her into the toilet in the end, when the toilet auntie wasnt aware.

i'm looking forward to tmr,
for some reason, i dunno why.
but i wanna snap picutures with jue, mk, althea, Sarah, Rachel! shrooms..and the list goes on.





its still the same, you see,..it will never change

28th Aug'06

this is not goodbye, this is starting over
if you wanna know, i dont wanna let go
say it isnt so
(:

27th Aug'06

today's sermon was..woah.
ppl ard me were so giggly! and i cldnt help but laugh along too
haha, thats because in girls sch..you noe what kindof stages thsoe kindof jokes will develope into. it was kindof hilarious.

last night, i had a dumb dream.
i dreamnt tt i was in some coffeshop with a dinosaur.
and i was the only human it spoke to.
we practically chatted over coffee and food.
--

its EL prelims tmr.
and i feel kindof sick, honestly
the fear has more or less disrupted my mood for studying.
-
i sure hope that things are getting better on the other side
i think if we take away the slimming pills and tablets which are affecting some ppl ard me,
and take away the self-consciousness too.
together with homosexuality, things will be a little better?
why that girl?





hrmm, i dun intend to affect anyone with what i'm feeling
but i think we're rrly all drifting apart.
cant you see, that everyone has their own world
i suppose its just the exam symptoms i'm getting.
everything will be fine yea.
it will bee.



am i the only one in church today, feeling so small

26th Aug'06

i guess theres rrly lots of stuff which you cant tell ppl about
certain issues, its just the thing about
you noe you cant tell or share ur burden cause if you rrly do,
who noes what they might be thinking
they might just get get all worried for nth, and keep and extra look out on you
or just lecture and point to you solutions
or maybe they wont even understand
yea, we are do Need directions but wat are listening ears for?
many promise to be there and listen.
many say that they'll understand
but when it things really happen,
i realised that theres really only a few whom i can turn to
and i'm really greatful that
i'm not just the one giving n giving n giving all the time
i'm just greatful that the one from above is gracious enough to show me that this world is beautiful.
it takes to hands to clap



at least i know that there are angels

25th Aug'06

hey world, ARH!
i can Feel all my pimples popping!
haha seriously. i think its due to the stress that we've all been facing lately.
i rmb, we used to say n complain all in the name of Fun.
"argh, i'm so stress. i can feel all my pimples popping lar!"
thats wat we used to say in class
and Now.
how wld i noe it wld all come true huh?!
but its rather hilarious seeing a couple of them going thru the same thing as me
HaHa

after visiting spectacle shops,
i realised that finding a Suitable one isnt tt easy afterall
where did all those which i used to think was nice go to?
-
its phototaking on monday!
i just want to bask happily with everyone's company when we can
before the exams fever gets real bad
and before all the graduation and stuff
they're real bad stuff ):
i came across someone's site the other day
i guess we shld all jus treasure all tt we have and not complain
but look at the good side of it all instead!
cause its really really Beautiful
right? (:

no wonder ppl always say that we're very sheltered in the walls of PL
i was talking to rach the other day abt bullies n fights, that kindof stuff
and oh my gosh. i didnt noe they did such things in other sch
in mix schools, those guys tie up this other small petite guy and place him literally at the ceiling.
you noe, in class those kindof ceilings which you can lift up the square boards.
they actually stood on the chair and left tt poor guy there for a while.
it was so hilarious. but it was so Mean!
my bro told me abt all the fightings in his sch too. his juniors n seniors.
i guess PL isnt rrly that bad afterall.
no offence, but i really really do love my sch (: more than the other girls sch in this world
i think we're still the best i can ever have.
just look at all the pranks n commotion you get in other schools.
i guess the 'worst' we ever got was when the whole sec four level got pranked.
we went to class in the morning and guess wat was on the white board?!
"the girl with the highest belt gets a prize during assembly"
and some classes have things lyk
"its the principle's 70th birthday today, please bring these balloons down for assembly"
of course, the culprit was not caught.
but it was so funny!
yes, there might have been theft cases, and..lesbianism.
funny issues lyk girls with short hair having forced to wear wigs.
but still, its Good overall.
i can just go on and on and on abt the great times we had/have
its always been lyk this whenever we rake up the past
and i Love this place hell lot. ((:

lessons have been alright lately.
and chinese is a lil more interesting nowadays
cause' i'm sitting with jue and althee! (:
we belong to the same species!
i was attracted to this comic bk which rach borrowed frm amira today.
yea, okaay, its about love. but wats so abnormal abt that!?
and so, i was sitting beside jue during mt, reading tt book.
i was at the climax part of the story when she suddenly bang the table.
i was shocked and i stared at her, puzzled.
and you noe wat she did!??! she took that book frm my hands and went, "do ur work lar!"
and she gave me tt 'nani nani poo poo' expression
she was half smiling okay! she knew tt she had disturbed me
haha it was funnyy
but but but i rrly felt lyk punching tt stupid woman!
she took that bk frm me for almst the whole of mt lar!
and they were saying lyk i'm some pervert.
fact is..i'm NOT! i Dont read PORN!
i'm not sick in the head! haha
it was funnny (: i knew they were just kidding
but when i showed them the sweet parts of the comic,
their expressions cracked me up real badly.

heyy sandy,
i know you'll read this.
okay lar, i shall just be thickskin lyk you
and tell you that..i Love you too (:
and i really care for you alrightt.
its rrly great to see you smiling No matter wat comes your way!



-
Father,
i know it has rrly rrly been awhile
yet it seemed lyk centuries
You still have a place in my heart.
always have been and will still be
i want to return to that sit which i used to sit faithfully in.
and dwell in Your presence, the way i used to be.



knocking on heaven's door

22nd Aug'06

SANDY WONG!?
i'm nice (: it doesnt rrly matter haha i wont let such stuff bother me
but Anyhow, i'm Still gona change my password!
haha to ensure you dun impose as me! :D
-laughs

prelims' practical is over!
it didnt went all well though
for the First time i cld spot the cations and anions but i mixed everything up at the ans part and it all went wrong
okay, enough of that
after practical everyone was going on and on abt it non stop
it figures tt it'll all be better if we dun talk abt it.
arh! EL prelims is on this monday and i just discovered it a couple of days ago
that fast huh!?
i think i'm rrly ageing
haha
-
i dropped my hairband into the toilet bowl ytd
i had no choice but to say 'byebye' to it
i guess its a blessing in disguise cause many said pins are Nicer (:

after so longg,
i finally got the book 'the boy called it' in my hands
that true story is heart Wrenching ):
i'm not even half done with it
but i feel so blessed while reading it
that little boy went thru so much torture n abuse lar
its so Sad
his mama forced his face into the diapers with defecation and she made him place his hands into fire.
now now, isnt it heart-breaking?
and thats only the minority of it
reading that book makes me feel like crying
No wonder joby said she teared while reading it.
i rrly felt like i'm sucha fortunate kid, when compared to him in that book
cause, despite the violence that i faced. and all the other things tt pollute my ears at home.
i noe these cant be compared to others out there.
i know that many are suffering and are even worse than me.
so why, exactly was i complaining. and why, exactly did i felt so insecure and scared and insignificant?
that reason, i dont know.
but i know He cares for me.
and i feel Blessed indeed (: i know that He lets everything happen for a reason.
and,..i just want to turst in you.

i was just wondering, just how many out there are suffering in sucha manner?
Many, i suppose.
this world is such a sad place to be in ):
i wanna be Angelina Jolie.
i wanna be Mother Teressa.
haha i noe it sounds rrly funny and weird.

anyhow
i heard a nice song this morning from blackspot's ipod
and it kindof swept me off my feet
i forgot to ask for the name of the songg
-

Father, i really think you're amazing.
thankyou so much, for all that you've done in my life.




nobody told me it would feel so good

HELLO!! i'm SANDY!

well. i'm bored. so i decided to hack into fiona's acc. i didn't hack la by right, i just came in, because i came in (:
i wonder whats her reaction when she sees this. just hope that she wont scream n yell at me and "wo he ni jue jiao!" meaning, cut the relationship or sth la. fiona's chinese aint tat good so it wont happen. hahahah =P


LOOK AT FIONA's HEAD!!! ITS LIKE POPPING OUT OF NO WHERE!? hahah. she got watermelon head =P


she thinks that she looked weird. she always does. hahah! =X

LAST BUT NOT LEAST......


fiona quek loves me alot alot alot! don't you agree?!

hahahah!

shes the best! (:

20th Aug'06

once again, i'm feeling so BLESSED
(:
i rmb awhile ago, i felt lyk i rrly needed angels from above
and the most High did hear my cry indeed
and now, i dun have just one, i have a Few (:
i Really do feel so Blessed.
thank you so much!
and to sarah lee, i wanna be your cheer leader in your own spiritual journey too
-


today's sermon impacted me deeply.
as i scroll down my list of friends, i realised that some fit into stage number one
some dun seem lyk they wld last
i was trying to fit everyone i know into the diff categories
its true indeed that while good friends you have many, true friends you have few
i guess its rrly the quality that counts, and not the quantity
-
but i believe that everything happens for a reason
surely, these ppl we meet in life, they appear for a reason
and if that reason is just to be a hi and bye friend
it wld be sucha waste.

anyhow, its a brand new day tmr
(:
and i noe it'll be great



and i am left in awe of You

19th Aug'06

hey world,
last night, i dreamnt of Food!
-we three, soon li, me and jean were at this free flow buffet.
the whole place was filed with glorious bakery buns
we were Superb excited,wating for our turn
but When it was our turn, we had to pay for the buffet
we were the only ones who had to pay.
arh, wat crap haha. you can imagine three unglam women complaining in my dream.
-and ms gan was there too, for some reason.
seeing her in my dreams rrly spooks me out.
it happened a couple of times alr
i dream of her that night and the next morning, i'm late for sch.
is this some form of foreshadowing or wat
its so Eerriee


i havent been studying much lately, ever since the common tests
theres only 23 more days to prelims. ):
it seems lyk those retarded moments in my p5 n p6 life were only last yr,
and those carefree and happy moments in my sec 2 life were only last week
sec 3 seems lyk ytd
time passes so fast that i feel lyk i'm ageing.
i was reading a senior's blog just the other day
life indeed as been great for her, but she was ranting on abt her past.
her happy moments in PL.
i wonder if it'll be the same for me when i leave the walls of PL
no wait, it'll definitely be lyk this.
this has gone a lil far,
but i dun want to leave PL ):
after spending 10 yrs in this sch, i think it'll be lyk a hole in my heart, having to leave this place.
-
just the other day we were talking abt how nice wld it be if we all retained.
first, you have more time to study
second, you spend more time in PL
third, you have a better knowledge on how to spend ur time wisely
fourth, its a later goodbye to everybody
loook, theres more pros than cons.
i didnt write down the cons cause i tink that its just..
oh well, so it figures that i Choose to look at it in a good way.
but then again, how many ppl in their right mind wld want to retain?
very few indeed.


i realised that everyone has been making trips to the library alone to study.
i've tried a couple of times, but its so lonely!
i guess, we cant help it.
its all because of the distance.
maybe thats why everyone has no choice but to just place ur butt in one nearby library n Mug a few hrs straight.
i think by now, loneliness is a smaller issue.
-
"eyes, they tell alot" -ME
"shape, they form a person"-RACHEL

haha she meant body figure.
as in, what kindof body figure is appealing.
Haha, its kindof funny when you have this kindof talks in sch.
ytd, during recess this was wat was going on.

"whats attractive is their hair!"-MK, JUE
"and their smell"-Jac

and the talk on BO starts..
haha its rather funny. i realised that diff ppl notice diff things abt Other people.
like to me, the first thing that stands out is the eyes.
to rachel, its the body figure Haha
and shrooms, its the lips.
my gosh, i think mk, jue n jac plus me, we're the more decent ppl.
who on earth will notice the lips first!?
its just kindof weird..No?!


i did this little thing for fun, and i saw the results:

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

someone tell me wat does this means!?
i think it kindof links to my current life HAha





it was a dream come true for a short period of time

do you noe that you're actually very very impt to me?
sometimes as the days go by and as we live similar lives, but lives of our own, i realised that i let the day past without even talking enough to you.
its true that we're 'close', considering the places we go, the directions to which we dedicate our time and life to together.
but, but but its just not the same. its not the same.
it isnt any simlilar to what we were before we both grew so much. we used to play even more, and we used to share even more.
perhaps we've been so close. that we thought exchanging time for each other in exchange of other ppl wldnt matter much.
but i find myself missing you nowadays. i really miss the good old days when you didnt have to care so much for other ppl. when i didnt have to care so much for others too.
when we werent abt reaching out, or being more open.
i really miss the days when its just you and me, and others (: of course you've ur own grp of friends and mine too.
i think its jealousy. its looks lyk an ugly word. and i dun want to be jealous. but do you noe smth, feeling it actually makes me realise the impt of you.
why else wld one feel that way?
it doesnt mean that i hate whoever comes your way, or wanting you to place us first.
no, not at all. it just means that i hope to share the fun n laughter too. it makes me happy to see you happy. but it really makes me sad to see that the friendship that we share is slowly dying away.
i dun want you to get it all wrong. i know that many times you've doubted this friendship of ours.
pondering if this is actually worthy? was it the fact that we were so close, that i took you for granted at times? was it the fact that you doubted too, that you didnt want to be hurt and so you let loose a little?
i realised that i never actually told you how much you mean to me.
because it makes me feel so weird! i used to think, what if you dun treasure me the way i treasure you?
but no, i've come to discover that really, what matters most is who you are to me. it doesnt matter how you feel. thats what unconditional is about, aint it?
i dun want to fret over, us always being on the same level of things and who's gona be better.
true is, i never felt that way. but i fear that you wld. its such a sensitive topic, that i try hard to avoid it. i dun want this kindof things to come our way.
it doesnt rrly matter. if its your calling, why not? it wld be amazing just for you being who you are and me for what i am, and not having thoughts that we wld be on different levels one day.
it really doesnt matter to me.
our circumstances allow us to be close. but how close is close? i think i'll miss you Hell lots when things are different.
that day will come. when we each go our separate ways. and i dun think it'll be long.
i want to cherish and love you for who you are. the way you've always been to me!
i tink you'll feel so orbiang lar, but stilll, these are some things which i've wanting to tell you, but never got to.
i really do Love you. i really really do (:
and i feel like hugging you, dear friend.
you really mean alot to me.

17th Aug'06

the feeling of being sick is Horrible ):
just ytd, i was wondering how it feels.
and today, its My turn.
being a woman is Horrible. horrible, horrible.
and i think i'll fail today's A maths test.
i cldnt do them, and i didnt feel lyk doing them.
my stomach was hurting lyk crazy, i think i scared jue cause it was so painful tt i started tearing.
i cant do anything today.
i cant eat ):
it makes me wanna vomit.
but praise God! its 10:17am and i'm at hme, no sch for me (:
rachel ho didnt appear again, i think she's still sick.
the whole world's sick.
wat is happening!??



its been a few days too long

15th Aug'06

hey world! today's quite a beautiful day (:
though i didnt get to see wats written on the name tag clearly this morning.
and though we had a physics test today.
its over and its smth worth rejoicing over!
Rachel ho didnt come to sch today ):
i was so worried for that stupid woman lar,
she made me so worried.
by not picking up her hp, hse phone for the whole afternoon
and James didnt ans his phone either.
it appears that she's sick.
its so unlikely for her to be sick. i guess its a horrible feeling, get Well soon buddy
it'll be diff without you in sch!

we were having a conversation in sch today,
agreeing on who looks more to the chinese or western side.
so, Ms sarah lee looks more to the western side and shrooms who wants to look lyk a western is more to the chinese side.
and when it came to my turn,..
i was flashing everyone a Wide smile, waiting for their answer when sarah lee went,"you look more to the malay side"
i was lyk wat!?
so out of point leh! and do i really look lyk i belong to that group?


i was talking to gradys today.
and she's really,really,really very nice and gentle
so much that i feel rather man talking to her
haha, i'm serious
why are some ppl born out to be so sweet and some so..unladylike?
beats me

anyhow, i forgot wat i wanna blog haha!
dinner's ready (:
seeya!






i heard a voice inside my heart

14th Aug'06

i feel like i just drank a bottle of Sweet honey water.
i feel so Sweet (:
Eee i didnt noe so much ppl wld actually care abt me.
i'm So BLESSED indeed
thank you Father, thank you so much!
:D

14th Aug'06

i skipped school today.
arh, i know lots of ppl Will react and some will start 'lecturing' me after knowing my reason.
i have personal reasons. haha
i havent touch my physics yet and the test's tmr lar ):
and if case you dunno, i have a Phobia of physics, theres so much to study.
and mrs tay's face always makes me feel so guilty cause i've never passed nicely for my physics ever since last yr.
i dun want to let her dwn again, by failing this time.
someone once told me that diff ppl react differently to stress.
some work even harder and go all the way, some run away.
for now, i'm working hard, and running away a lil i guess.

but do you noe smth?!
the feeling of guilt is so heavy. and..rather intense for me.
i kept waking last night n the thought has been flashing in my head since this morning.
is it me or is it other issues? yes, it rrly makes me feel so guilty, but i rrly need the time
plus, so many other ppl's doing it now a days.
skipping sch to buy time.
i dun think i'll ever do this again though, the feeling's horrible.
clara must be sitting alone during A maths today, without any partner.
i can almst imagine her saying,"i'm gona kill fiona Quek!"
and rachel must be hanging with shrooms all day.
rachel saying,"i shld have pon sch with her lar! that slacker!"
shrooms saying,"i'm gonna scold her!"
mk understanding why i skip sch cause She herself Skipped before.
jue,"that fionaa arh.." and she'll shake her head a lil, but understanding my reason.
althea! arh, i wldnt dare to tell her my reason for not going to sch, cause i'll feel lyk i let her down in some way.
haha, it rrly do sounds lyk i've committed a big crime huh?
actually, i think i miss them more den i suppose they wld think of me.
funny how much sch has affected my life, esp the ppl in there.
though we arent that kindof close close who'll actually hang out 24/7, i guess its the link in the heart whereby, you just dun have to meet up and be close all the time. its an acknowledgement in the heart.
annnnd, theres laksa in sch today! haha, i noe lar, it sounds so dumbb.
But, its been smth that i've started to like recently. yucckk, they dun sell it on other days.

you noe, how nice wld it be if we all have a chance to make wishes.
this way, the world will be such a happier place.
i want to do smth great and meaningful after finishing my big O's.
i dunno how, i dunno what, but it'd be so amazing to fill the holes in ppl's lives. and, everyone's gonna be happy!
if i have the ability to do so..i would,
elana-remove all your doubts and fears that you have. and really, let you be happy on the inside, the exact same way you appear to be on the outside.
liyun-help you in ur spiritual life and boost it all the way up. cause i believe you really can do great things!
sandy-remove watever thing thats has been restricting n obstructing n bothering you for so long. i just hope for you to be yourself and do what you want! trust urself, n dun let others control you
weide-heal your sickness and seriously, Feed you with lots of food lar. you need more Food haha
hansheng-remove ur doubts and troubles in life and see you Happy!
rachel-take away ur slacker attitude and be behind you, supporting what you do in ur church (:
shrooms-help you in ur spiritual life and tell you tt you're really awesome!

lets face the facts, the world is sucha broken down world lar.


HAHA, rachel just called me. that woman skipped sch too!
oh wells, what can i say?





having a piece of you is amazing

12th Aug'06

i have one Big question,
someone please tell me wat is PUK number?
something is seriously wrong with my phone ):
i dropped it on sat and the cover kindof split into two and now its not working.
i went to meddle with my sim card on another phone and now the sim card's lock.
and all the card asks is for me to enter the 'PUK number', enter the 'PUK number'
lyk i noe wat that is!?
well, i would Love to enter that number.
my parents arent gona get me a new phone lar
so i guess, its a cut off frm the world now.


yuccck, i realise i got so many things need/want to get
but i just dun have the cash


oh wells, lets just count our blessings,
maybe its one less distraction so i can concentrate on my studies.
yea, Praise God.
i believe theres a reason for everything!
cause i choose to believe!



you're the song that lives in me

12th Aug'06

hey world,
it was the release of O' level Chinese results ytd.
you shld have just see wat was happening in sch manz.
the whole world practically went nuts.
the moment tt announcement was made, everyone started screaming and jumping lyk some Morons. haha
it was funny actually, just watching that scene alone.
is it the same in all the other schools or is it just ours?
either way, it still appeared hilarious, though i was petrified on the inside.
it wasnt tt bad, those screamings n jumpings make me feel even worse lar! it made me more scared.
and the weather just changed all of a sudden.
i was wondering if it was a msg frm God or smth.
the moment tt announcement was made, there was thunder and rain started pouring.
my gosh, it sounds so dramatic yet true.
wat an atmosphere to go with.

maybe its a girl issue.
before i knew it, so many ppl ard me were crying
i didnt rrly noe how to react when i saw mine.
i noe i dont deserve to cry. and i wont let myself cry over smth lyk results.
it seems rather dumb actually.
because, all those sleeping n slacking in class, i have only myself to blame. and i cant say tt i've put in my ultra best, as compared to some who mugged lyk crazy.

it all went alright until elana came into my class and she gave me a hug.
she was laughing, but i cld still see the bitterness behind her eyes.
and thats when those tears came.
i know, its so dumb lar. here i am telling others to be strong, and everything.
and there i am, myself, doubting God over n over again.
i'm not saying that He shld reward me with smth Big.
but when i look at the ppl ard me,
some dun even deserve wat they get, why are they getting all these?
why does it seem lyk Nth pays off for me?
and does God noe our bitterness indeed?
elana struggles so much, i noe she doubts herself so often.
even when her art is Superb, even when things seem to be smooth.
i realise that strong ppl always meet with the obstacles, and weak ppl usually get better and better.
and den the weak becomes strong.
and the strong becomes weak. and the strong always seem to be going thru smth big. and big and big and big. sometimes i just wish i'm just an ordinary kid. doing ordinary stuff. doing ordinary things. and let others encourage me. Let others care for me. let others pull me through.
let others worry for me, let others think n pray for me.
den maybe, i'd be all so strong n well now.

i'm not blaming the one above. i Know that God lets all things happen for a reason n everything.
and i Know that He cares. its not lyk i dunno all these.
these, all things i've always been telling ppl ard me.
but i guess, i need some time to let it seep into my brain.
and into my soul too.
you've seen how i fallen since the mid-years n nth actually seems to be getting better.
Where and How am i gonna get stronger?
i want to be stronger and i hope to be.
but circumstances tell me its gona be difficult.
when i went back to class, someone wrote the verse abt God making us the head n not the tail.
indeed, i noe the one above Loves me alot. its not lyk i've never seen anything Great done by Him.
but, why am i in this class when i dun even deserve to be in here?
to put me in the best and let me be the last? to be the fool out of the best?
it feels lyk Crap.
show me smth, just show me smth.
i noe i qns a Lot. but, i can honestly say that they dun deserve it. not more than i do. and just look at some, just look at them. they place studies before You. they dont know wats their Real priority in life. and yet everything seems to be going so smooth?
my life seems so be a contrast with theirs.
somebody just tell me if i'm going after the right thing.

we had O' level EL oral after sch.
the bitterness was slowly fading, i hope i do well for that oral.
i really hope i do.

i met an angel in school today.
i never knew her as someone so Nice and Sweet.
we were walking out of sch when i saw my chinese teacher.
i practically ran towards her, shouting her name.
and she turned and said smth lyk this in chinese," hui lin, ni shi zhe me le?" (my results)
and i was lyk, "wo bu zhi dao, wo bu zhi dao. wo ying gai cong kao mah?"
and she went, "Yao. ying hui wo zhi dao ni xing de. zhui sao A2, ni zhi shi lan duo er yi"
and before i knew it, she was holding my hands n looking into my eyes! telling me, that she'll encourage me and help me.
my gosh, my heart melted on the inside. that was seriously the best thing i've ever heard ytd.
she just seemed so motherly all of a sudeen, i almost Hugged her on the spot.
i had to stop myself from doing so.
i was lyk asking her,"ru guo wo zuo zuo wen, ni ke yi bang wo gai mah?"
and she went,"dang ran, zhi yao ni jiao, wo yi ding hui gai de. wo hui gu li ni de"
i was so touched. this rrly reminded me of my late compo the other time.
i was lyk one Month late, yet she didnt scold or anything.
all she said was, "wo deng ni de zuo wen, zhi yao ni jiao, wo ying ding hui gai"
Why is she so NICE!? she makes me wanto Hug her and cry,"lao shi!! zhi you ni liao jie wo!"
Before i leave the walls of PL and graduate, i'll defienitly take Pictures of her n me. and maybe Laminate them n place them Big Big on my room wall.
she's really amazing.
all those ppl walked first without waiting for me when my lao shi and i were talking!
and they didnt rrly buy it when i told her she's so amazing.
she really iss. oh man, someone tell me why is she so NICEE!?
i pray that she'll be happy always! (: she touched my heart ytd.


i supposed, it isnt the end yet. it isnt time to give up or anything.
especially not when others have Hopes n confidence in you.




you were a fantasy which i dream wld become true. was i one too?

10th Aug'06

today was (:
i met rach, James and Amos in the morning.
i was Supposed to study with rachel. we had lyk four chapters of chem to crammed into our brains, plus lit essays.
who noes, they came along too. haha
but it wasnt so bad.
we hung ard in the arcade n travelled all the way to esplanade's library.
for wat particular reason, i know not.
someone please tell me why were we so dumb?
it was no diff lar, it was as crowded.
but i guess we study better under pressure.
i sat there for hours straight. and after the whole thing, i really jumped for joy manz.
though i'm not done with another chpt or so, it was such an accomplishment.
three heavy chapters okay!
to us it was lar.
i came hme rushing lyk some mad woman.
theres so much to do ):
theres lit eassays to type out, and another Two huge chpts of chem to go.
and somehow, all the ppl i want to talk to or have been longing to talk to always happen to chat with me at my busiest moment.
makes me feel so sad, and guilty and argh,
unpleasant feeling.



i can Really really feel the stress all coming up.
there IS/ARE O's LEVEL ENGLISH ORAL tmr.
there's Chem test tmr.
there's lit test tmr.
i can just drop dead and die lar.
i never thought that blogging abt studies wld be interesting.
but, its seriously snatching the joy frm me.

Praise God! cause still, there's always a silver lining in a cloud.
you just have to look closer.
someone told me that we dun have to study the last chpt for tmr!
thats one huge chpt gone.
EEE praise GOD! i'm smiling lyk crazy now. cause its just so amazing lar.
((: wooohoo, i Knew it! i knew that God is good!
i cant afford to fail. i'm so sorry, but if i do, i wld be letting Ms ferngy down, my parents down, God down, myself down.
i've seen everyone's disappointed faces already.
its so torturing to see them.


my mp3 is exchanged with James' one for a WEEK (:
thats so amazing. cause it has Beautiful songs in it.
(:


tmr's friday, i'm think i'll love it still.




i realised that if i dream hard enough, it'll come true

9th Aug'06

which is worse?
doing averagely well in ur studies all along and suddenly, wham. big blow to ur results. you start to fail everything all of a sudden.
or
being in a Good class and not doing extremely well, yet enough to pull thru. when suddenly, wham. big blow too, everything's failing.

i suppose both's equally bad.



will you deny me now?
after those talks and sharing. its so weird, sometimes i wish i noe only a little.
i should have just stuck to my own circle of friends and not really bother to go a little further.


my heart breaks a little for the things of this earth.
stupid studies have got us depressed n upset over nth actually.
it only demoralises us.
it wasnt as sweet as it was before.
stupid stupid stupid.
excuse me, but ):
why must there be friends who are so hard to comprehend.
why must there be temptations everywhere.
why must there be love.
why must there be conflicts.
why must satan do all this?

whats life without a lil ups and downs?
really, i guess it wld be meaningless.


but if i have a chance to go on a runaway trip,
i guess i wld take only a few with me.
the rest, i dont want to think abt it anymore.
at least not for now lar, its stupidly consuming all my time and giving me redundant troubles.
i have my own to deal with too





daddy promised to sing me a lullaby

7th Aug'06

monday. and wat to say, ytd was Mostly, awesome (:
looking on the bright side of things, it was Nice.

met with audrey ytd morning and i almst Hugged her!
cause smth in her just makes me happy and break into a smile.
that woman is naturally cool and pretty lar, serious.
you just have to take a closer look at her.
you'll understand only later. i've known with her since pri one, i've discovered smth!
haha, and everytime tt teenage actor, shawn lee is mentioned, audrey flashes thru my mind.
no?
its lyk this to me haha.
it was so darn crowded after the whole thing.
thank God for an empty enough bus to board on,
after we walked to the previous bus stop.

we went to Mos for Food.
can you believe it, that was my only decent meal for ytd.
haha i cldnt believe it, and this morning, i was starving.
i had One bowl of laksa for recess. and almst a second one after sch, if jue didnt stop me.
they shld just give a bigger serving.
haha! and most of the ppl i noe in PL will go, Amen haha
anyhow, we were playing this number game at Mos.
and it made me laugh (:
but seriously, lemon plus french fry plus tomato sauce plus milk plus ice plus tea plus tissue paper isnt tt gross rite?
its only the finger touching tt substance! i'm sure theres Much more to fun.
haha perhaps i'm saying this cause i didnt lose.

FOP was really great.
i like Don Moen. he has a really clear voice and its amazing.
i didnt noe i had one of his CDs at hme, until ytd when we started singing his songs.
and to think tt CD actually belonged to my dad. and tt CD is so old lar.
no offence, but i thought tt guy in the CD died alr! to think i saw him ytd.
Nick vijichic was there too. (however you spell that name)
i was suprised. cause he's just this guy who has to limbs. no hands, no legs.
and i rmb, during one of our sch chapel, they actually talked abt him, being such a great testimony.
yes, he Is indeed a Great testimony. and smth abt his optimism touched me deeply.
i never thought i wld actually see or hear abt him again.
but there he was in the midst of the crowd, worshipping too.
its simple coincidences lyk this which tell me that i'm in the right place, and at the right time.
and most imptly, doing the right thing.
i almst made my way hme ytd, before the whole thing started.
but score one.
i didnt. and score two. i controlled my temper! (:
seriously, Soon li, arent you proud of me!? i didnt have a single moodswing last night alright.
it wasnt easy. i know it sounds so easy But it wasnt. before you left, it was horrible.
and after you left, it was as horrible.
and i was feeling horrible and rotten. i felt lyk a rotten banana, all squashed n lousy and gross.
and score three. sandy (: you pulled thru with ur emotions too.
haha
it sounds dumb lar. but i noe you hung on to the strong side on the inside. i saw it. i looked into ur heart!
haha nah, i'm not God. well, i felt you clinging on to the strong side.

i think i'm so blessed.
looking back, sometimes i qns why did God made me grow up in a methodist church when he wants to place me where i am now.
what were those 12 years for? some of my childhood friends frm there, whom i never rrly got to see again. but i felt Him last night speaking to me.
indeed, things do happen for a reason.
i guess thru these lil stuff, i've become more exposed.
to the methodist, to the charismatic. to diff areas, and being able to relate easily to diff ppl.
cause i realised that when it comes to things lyk speaking in tongues, the other side qns and dun rrly understand wats going on.
and den when it comes to singing those methodist songs, many frm the other side know nth abt it. or dunno abt those kindof songs, not used to the way the traditional church goes. the practices.
and ytd, God answered one of my questions i've been bombarding Him with.
its so amazing.
i really want to make it a pt not to complain watever comes my way.
cause theres a reason for everything, and God's our maker afterall.
and the more we Dont have to fear.
its enough knowing that He noes our sorrows, theres no need to harp over it.


little bryan is such a cheeky fellow.
haha. that guy thinks i'm 14. and he thought i was the same age as him at first.
p5!? hello, are you kidding me!? do i actually look tt young n immature.
and he Contaminated my New lollipop with his saliva-filled lollipop.
but i found a partner who has the same hand size as me (:
till we meet again buddy.

i was happy when i made my way to sch today.
finally! Althea kindof noes what those songs sound lyk.
i've been trying so hard to bring across those songs to her.
but apprently, i cant sing for nuts. and everytime i try, it goes way out of tune.
and i never get to teach you any song while you Always teach me new ones.
ppl lyk chris, claudia, jac know what i am singing in class now!
praise God, i'm not a loner anymore (:
Claudia is so..pro! oh manz, i really salute you (:
do you noe wat she was going to do ytd?
she was going to sit at indoor stadium alone for FOP.
i mean, she was all so prepared to go there alone, simply because no one was going with her.
imgaine being alone in a place full of unknown ppl.
i wldnt have tt guts to.
i salute you (: all that guts for the glory of God!










baby, its going to be different. its going to be only you and me

5th Aug'06

ytd, we were doodling lots on our white board in class.
the whole class was off for bio.
and althea, nic n me were drawing crazy stuff on the board.
den soon li came along. it was so hilarious!
we wrote ah lian langauges. and it was Superb funny.
"miie lub eeu 4eva lehx, y did euu chose tuu leave miie?! euu bwreak moii heart again worxx~`*"
haha THIS, was wat was filled our white board ytd.

after sch, i went over to rach's hse.
study wasnt tt great. but i'm glad i went to her hse anyway.
it helped spent some of my time last night
(:


have you ever wondered, if the devil can be overcome by Love?
something tells me that its possible.
surely, that for what he's doing right now, he has his own reasons.
to rebel, to go against. surely he has his own difficulties too.
maybe thats the reason why he's going ard bringing harm to everyone, thinking that this wld make him happy. when actually in fact, he wont be.
i dont know.
but if i've overcomed my fear of spirits by then. and when i see one of satan's man.
i wld tell him, "Jesus loves you, why are you hurting urself and everyone ard you? its not too late to repent"




some things are just too complicated

3rd Aug'06

hey Sandy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you (:
i think i've said this a million and one times.
but still, i really Wanted to make this day of yours special.
but i'm sure you had fun anyway.
this is the day which the Lord created you!
aint tt amazing?
i duno when did we get rather close.
but anyhow, i'm just real glad that you're part of my life.
though i dunno why i become so childish when i'm with you.
and ppl actually Thinks that you're older lar.
you moron. i'm sorry for spilling a lil trouble at you ytd.
but i'm fine. yea? cause we'll be. together.
(: you've been so strong. i believe you'll do smth great despite ur youth.
God Bless You my dear sister! (:



school today wasnt entirely great.
i was trying to cramp Physics into my saturated brain today.
things that cropped up made me unable to study last night.
and its a most prob i'm gonna fail that quiz.
arh, nevermind.
i failed my El compre test. but the actual reason behind it was tt i was dozing off while doing tt paper.
i dun think she believed me.
cause she said my results were lyk Crap.
she said they were ridiculous results.
what can i say? i'll just have to work even harder.


dun get me wrong. school hasnt been pulling my spirits down lately.
in fact, its one of the best stuff lately alr.
i'm sorry if i've been a lil weird lately in sch.
some things have just been running thru my head.
we went for colours award prac today.
and i felt so..weird and Happy!
i still cldnt believe that i still qualify for it.
well actually its no big shot.
but stilll, she has been really Nice to me. giving me chances after chances.
thank you so so much.
standing there stirs up an awkardly pleasant feeling on my inside. (:
i learnt one New song in sch frm Althea today.
its Beautiful.
i wish i'm musically inclined!
if onnly.
den before you noe it. i'll be singing and producing my own album manz!
by faith. haha



I've finally found a reason for living
it's in giving every part of my heart to Him in all that i do every word that i say
i'll giving my all just for Him, for Him...


i realised it has only been Four days since that last screwd up issue with you.
and whatever happened ytd was not yearned for.
i've tried controlling my feelings inside.
sadness, grief, anger, bitterness. whatever it is. i tried.
but i guess we all have feelings. not that i've always spilled things in here. but i figured this helps a hell lot.
so wat exactly was it over?
a handphone. it was that simple. it was just a little handphone.
i can see that things as small as this is now enough to trigger our relationship.
its enough to threaten our realationship.
i reallyreally didnt mean to shout at you last night.
it was just that 5 blows were a lot to take.
i know you cldnt help it either. its not entirely your fault.
cause i know that you struggle too.
i noe that you had no intentions of things turning up this way.
because you said that you love me and i believed you.
but if you really love me, why are you doing this to me?
cant you see that its killing the inside of me?
i saw the anger in your eyes. and it really made me wanna cry.
there was so many things i wanted to say to you.
but i cldnt say even one. you just wont allow me to.
it made me want to hug you even more. but that anger on the inside of you makes me crumble.
and i felt the my patience dying away.
i felt unforgiveness brewing. it was horrible. i dont want to feel this way.
unforgiveness is bad. i've learnt to overcome that and i dun want to trip again.
i was hiding in the toilet alone and i asked myself if you noe how i feel?
i doubt so. true, i felt that God didnt care. esp not for me.
but He never fails to assure me.
and that was wat which made me realise. that my tears are nth actually. it doesnt matter if i crumble on the inside again and again. cause i can count on my Lord to always pick me up.
but i dunno what to do when it comes to you. cause' you arent that same person anymore. you dun love love as much as you used to.
praying for you is getting tougher. cause a lil part of me has started to doubt. but i still love. and i think thats all that matters.
looking at that bruise makes me feel lyk i'm tasting acid.
sometimes it makes me go all crazy again. it makes me want to scream and run away.
to somewhere Far away frm you.
but i realised that once you try to let go, everything will appear better.
sometimes i just feel lyk a Stupid fool. a moron in fact. esp when the ppl ard me are down. and i go around with a smile plastered on my face.
if not, its the same words of "dun give up", "keep pressing on". and ppl think that i'm an idoit who just basically doesnt noe what sadness is. who jus basically thinks that its easy to say when i myself have yet to try it out.
but no, i'm not.
i've found a different kindof grace.
and yes, You picked me up again.
though i still felt lyk asking "why" and question and ask if you care for me.
You were patient enough with me.
and really, this is all that matters.
i still want to see heaven.
devil, will you please go? will you listen if i were to tell you that what you're doing will only bring urself no joy at all?

31st July'06

its a brand new day indeed.
but smth got me all so excited frm the moment i woke up.
it was the deliverance.
it seems lyk things happened just an hr ago.
i got so excited when i reached sch.
i wanted to just open my mouth and talk abt wat happened.
and share. but den i stop.
i just realised, there was no one i cld talk to abt it!?
):
i was so sad. there was only sarah.
the rest didnt really understand.
but still, i kept feeling the joy within me.

i conquered a lil something last night.
before i went to bed, i closed my eyes in the dark and prayed out.
Loud.
it lasted for ard 15 minutes.
though it wasnt smth Great or amazing.
i know i conquered smth.
cause i've never rrly got the guts to this before.
either i try and i end up falling asleep. or i pray in the light.
i think its cause' of the wild imagination that i have.
to tell the truth, i was fearful indeed.
not That i lasted thsoe 15 mintues with a peaceful soul.
i kept opening my eyes, out of, yes, fear.
but it was Amazing (:
a little baby step at a time.
i noe i'll be able to see heaven one day.


i dreamnt of smth last night.
and when i woke up, i realised it must be some kindof word frm God.
i think? cause things seem to make so much sense.
so here goes wat was in my dream:
we were at amk mrt station. me, shrooms and nanxiao.
and there was this commotion.
and rumours that it was Safe to walk on the mrt train tracks.
you see, by walking on the tracks, you take a short cut.
and so in my dream, ppl were walking on the tracks.
and others, mostly were taking the escalators. or walking on the platform.
i was on the platform. and shrooms was too.
but she was Superb near the edge, she was almst falling off.
and nx, she listened to those rumours, she walked on the tracks.
and that was when i heard God speaking to me.
he told me that those on the tracks were unsaved. they were the ones in danger.
i dunno why, but that catholic high guy appeared in my dream too.
he was on the escalator.
i really think its God revealing smth to me.
casue i've always wondered if he, was a christian too.
so when i heard frm God, i panicked.
so did shrooms. cause' nx was on the tracks.
we cried out to her and thank God, she turned her head and heard us.
and she made her way back.
this, i felt God speaking to me abt this in my dream. that, she'll come back. that her heart will no be hardened. that its never too late. cause' i've been disappointed and losing hope in her lately.
it somehow seems lyk she isnt as open as before. and i wondered, where did all those fastings, prayers, money go to? ptl indeed. i felt so assurred in my dream.
and in my dreams, there was shrooms.
i wasnt very sure myself why she appeared in my dream.
until i recalled my dream today in sch and i spoke to her.
she didnt attend service ytd.
i noe its God. calling her back. drawing her back into His presence.
she was standing so near the edge of the platform in my dreams.
and the fact that she has been struggling for quite some time make my dreams make a whole lot of sense.
its no point being a mere christian alone.
God doesnt just want that. He wants a personal, close and intimate relationship with us.
i was taken aback when i spoke to her in sch today.
so much that i forgot to share with her my dream.
):
i wonder if she'll believe me if i tell her later on tonight.
this, isnt the first time she appeared in my dream alr.
and its not the first time that God's calling out to her.
i think my Saviour is so loving indeed.
right, and back to my dream.
so after nx got back onto the platform with us, i saw this woman.
she was hugging her little baby. and i just stared at them.
they were on the tracks. and they were determined to be on the tracks.
all i had to do in my dream, was to open my mouth and tell her to get her feet onto the platform.
but i didnt open my mouth. i never did.
and she went off with her Baby in her hands.
they both suffered Because of ME.
):


God's telling me smth i noe.
i noe i noe i noe.
i noe i have Alot of Fears.
which i have to clear, slowly.
bit by bit.
and i'm gonna fight it all Off.
it was amazing.
really. it nearly blew me off my feet.
but the important point is what the next step will be.
i know i have to change my attitude towards ppl.
and i have to use a different approach.
Lord, teach me how. i cant do this without you.
i dont want to screw things up anymore.


praise God for everything indeed.
i feel so happy.
i feel lyk screaming and shouting for joy.
and i feel like dancing. (:
i know You'll show me heaven one day.
i Know we Will see Heaven on earth one day.
i know what i just blogged abt probably seems hard to believe.
i dun really believe it either.
but its True.
i'm not lying.
i know that God noes its true. and its all that really matters.
i Know and i Believe indeed.
(:



cause' you're all that i ever need in life.
all that i ever wanted.

30th July'06

today seems lyk a Long Long day.
and its an amazing Long day.
if things were under my control, i had choose for today not to end.
but i'm not. its my God who's under control.
that makes it Even better (:
and Much much Cooler indeed.

i was awoke by Junle's msg. reminding me to bring the cake.
apparently it was sent half an hr ago.
thank God for tt msg alright, it woke me up!
and i wonder, wat happened to everyone else Huh!?
those ppl who promised to remind me abt the cake.
now, i noe who can really be trusted. haha
i'm just kidding.
anyhow, the the vibration of my phone created weird dreams as i slept.
cause' i was half conscious. and i guess, things tt were Really happening gt mixed up with my thoughts.
because of that msg..guess wat i dreamnt!?
i dreamnt tt sandy msg me.
and she was lyk, "fiona! wanna go swimming?! we call everyone along!"
den i replied happily in my dreams, stating YES.
but i had to change my mind later, disappointing both me n her cause of my O's.
weird Huh.
and i dreamnt of Another dream.
i dreamnt of Nanxiao!
she was lyk "fiona, i'm so sorry i'm not rrly in the mood for going to church nowadays. i noe you put in alot of effort. i really hope we be Close friends. and i treasure our friendship alot!"
i was Dizzy in my dreams.
haha. seriously, i dreamnt of these.
and when i woke up, i was a lil disappointed.
why!? i want nanxiao's msg!

anyhoww, i managed to get to church safely haha.
my guitar Is so heavy lar.
but thanks to weide who's helping me to re-string it.
i bet he went thru more tough times den me.
Because..someone left my guitar sitting in the boot of a Cab, all by itself.
and totally forgot abt it.
he had to rush and find it back.
anyhow, thanks BRO (:
i appreciate it alot.

deliverence was Cool.
really. at the beginning of it all i was Petrified.
like seriously. i think i held this stunned and shocked look on my face.
cause ppl ard me, starting asking if i was okay.
i wasnt really okay.
i had a shock.
but God's presence was Really Really powerful.
ppl ard me were screaming, they were coughing. and crying.
before i knew it, More were doing so.
i Saw with my own eyes how some struggled.
how much they cried out, desperate. wanting to let go, while they just cant.
which made me really really Hate the devil.
and a part of me in my heart which goes,
"why did Lucifer go against God? why why why. He was so awesome. He used to be so awesome. and look at him now. he's a devil. and he's not even getting anything. he's only hurting himself. and the presious ppl of God"
if you ask me,
Lucifer is a Nice Name.
really.
wat a pity.

Anna. i want to say, thanks so much for asking me so many times.
i noe you'll see this.
actually when you first asked me,
a lil portion wanted to respond alr.
but, you noe. fear, doubts. and all the other stuff tt comes along.
i was thinking in my heart, "if anna asks again, i'll respond"
and you asked. and i told myself No again.
and den again, i told myself "now, if she askes again, i'll definitely go"
and you did. and i told myself no again.
and so the cycle goes.
until everything was almst over.
when ppl were singing praise song. that i felt a Deep sense of regret.
and den, you asked me again.
thats when i responded.
haha.
thank God for a cell leader lyk you.
i love you (:
i really do.
thank you so much for always being so understanding.
and just being who you are.
i'm learningg to love you more and more!

Rev Mike Conel was so near me.
he was just a few steps away. and i saw it. i saw with my own eyes how he touched others. and they just fall, under the presence of God.
it was amazing.
and i really wanted to go forward.
with all my heart, i wanted to so badly.
my heart was screaming for me to MOVE it.
but my feet Didnt listen.
Fear. i noe its fear.
den i thought abt the woman with the issue of blood in the bible.
as my feet hesitated, i thought abt that woman.
she had so much faith so even touch Jesus.
i was asking myself.
wats so scary huh!? its just stepping forward.
but yet it seemed lyk the most difficult thing on earth.
i practically followed behind him in circles.
circleS.
and then after a few circles, he went off.
and thats when i stopped following, and guilt came upon me.
fear came upon me. the feeling of unworthyness came upon me.
the cry of really wanting to draw close to God, but i just dun noe how.
it came upon me.
all at one shot. before i noe it, anna was praying for me.
and someone came along too.
i was crying and shouting and maybe screaming? i dunno.
but i really felt lyk throwing everything out.
all the stupid thoughts. doubts. hurts. family. Fears. everything.
i dunno who's that someone who prayed.
but i rmb her face.
she was so cool. everything she prayed was somehow accurate.
weird huh.
but rrly. i didnt realise how fearful i was until today.
the spirit of darkness, doubts, condemnation, unworthyness, faith.
i guess this is common.
today has really impacted my life.
i'm Glad i belong to the hse of God.
i'm God's child. (:
and it's really amazing to be one.


and so i came home.
after all the amazing issue.
you noe, they say when you're delivered and cleasnsed, things will start coming back.
they'll become worse. and situations will seem Even tougher to handle.
it was Totally true.
just that i didnt expected it to be so quick, so soon.

i really really tried to control what i could.
forgiveness is smth i've learnt to pull thru.
its the tolerance that i've yet to learn.
things that just flow never endingly frm ur mouth makes me wanna shout.
they make me crazy. they make me want to scream back at you.
cause you Never understood me.
and everytime i Try to make you understand. it never works.
and so you just keep going on and on, thinking you totally get it.
when actually in fact, you dun at all.
things that flow out from ur mouth makes me want to cry at times.
because you dun noe wat you're saying.
i shld have brough you along today.
but den again, i really wonder if it wld actually helped.
you noe what i learnt today?
i learnt tt curses are a way thru which devils move.
and it shook me real hard on my inside.
cause you're the forst to appear in my mind.
if thats not enough. you resort to violence too.
i've learnt to be strong. really. but i crumble at times too.
i'm still a human after all. how perfect do you want be to be. things lyk this are hard to ignore.
and he's still young.
do you actually expect him to go thru what i probably have?
well, i wont let that happen. cause i'm gonna protect him.
i dont hate you. though soemtimes, i really really cant seem to control my own tongue back at you.
i want to love you.
i want to see you drawing back to God one day, tearing in His presence.
and i want to Hug you in God's presence.
i cant even rmb when was the last time i actually hugged you.
dad, i dont hate you. really. i forgive and i forget.
please dont make me sad anymore.

29th July'06

it seems lyk i'm not fated to use wordpress at all.
i've been trying for ages to sign up for an account.
its either my comp or my e-mail.
so, i'll just stick to this place den.
it isnt so bad haha.

being ard Happy ppl really makes you happy.
and casting away thoughts, really makes you happy too.

i've been harping on the amazingness of ppl ard me lately.
and yes, indeed. i still do.
thank God for So Many amazing ppl.
really, with so many Amazing ppl ard, who needs loneliness?

soon li self-invited herself to stay over last night.
haha, okay lar. but my hse's open 24/7 anyway.
we met bro Kel ytd after sch.
and we talked. a whole lot. abt our studies and studies and studies.
it was another reality slap on my face, tgt with a heavy load of stress.
Monday. monday onwards, no more going out.
unless its for special purposes and special ppl.
but just abt everyone ard seem so special nowadays,
i hope i'll be able to resist it.

so anyway, we bought my shoe.
i wanted the another kind. it was Superb Beautiful.
but still, reality Is reality.
that design was obviously meant for guys. and just look at the price manz, totally beautiful.
goes to show that no pain, no gain.
Soon Li bought a new bag.
and we feasted on big Macs.
den we headed hme.
we were so tired, that we didnt talk much in the night, we just prayed.

i know God hears every single prayer we make.
i know, i know and i know.
and i Want to believe.
and i believe, just that faith takes time and needs to be built.
for now, i Believe that my faith will be strengthened.


you noe, like i said, i've been finding everyone so amazing lately.
almost everyone. esp those ppl frm my sch.
everytime i get reminded of O's, it leades me to the thought of graduation. and the thought of graduation makes me think of bidding farewell to so many wonderfully made faces.
and This makes me wanna Burst out crying.
the fact is, we're reminded of O's so very often lately.
it sucks.
really.
people whom i've known for TEN years. if not, four, or six.
it wont be the same.
i noe we'll all meet up and stuff, but it'll be tough.
only those rrly deep and genuine ones last a whole lifetime.

Soon Li-six years. my gosh thats rather long. and to think we only got close to each other in our secondary sch life. when we're in diff classes. aiya, to be honest, i have no fears abt our friendship. cause we see each other almst 24/7 in church! and God's in the centre of everything. this is so cool lar. i totally trust God that we'll last forever man. really. just that things just happen for a reason, lyk what we learnt today. i noe this friendship can be lyk hell at times. and my fault. but but but, i really wanna kick the devil away. we'll do this tgt yea?

Rachel-woman, woman, woman. i noe you since pri one! and you were lyk some blur sotong back den. if you dun rmb, let me remind you manz haha. pri 4, we were Real close. and thats when we both started being Naughty and ill-disciplined. thats the year we started eating in class, sleeping in class, talking back to teachers. please dun tell me that you dun recall, you See. we were such Screwd up kids okay. and today! we're still sleeping and eating. oh well, oh habits die hard. very hard in fact. i'll cry if we arent as close when we graduate loh. and after crying, i'll come haunting after you.

Althea-colourful braces! reatrded actions and cheerful character. my gosh, just abt everything of you really Makes me break into a Big Smile. really (: i think God really really placed you in my life for a huge Reason. though we arent close at all. but despite this point, it just feels comfy when i talk to you. mostly, about God (: you make me wanna love God even even more. and you taught me the guitar. you're practically the reason i am what i am with the guitar today. i dun you'll ever noe, but i think you're my angel. really. and the Fact that we belong to the same "species" makes me even more myself manz. you understand how i struggle abt all the stupid girly issues. and you noe how its lyk with God in life. i wanna noe you more. and closer, in fact. really. i'm no pervert. but i realy Love you. as a friend. and i wanna say a Big thank you (:


Jue-you're just abt another person i wanna noe more abt too. these four years we share in class just never seem to provide the chance to. you're lyk althea to me (: though we dun share the same thing for God. i feel all so myself with you lar. just comfortable and it feels lyk you wld understand just abt anything abt me that i'd pour out to you. sometimes i really wish you share things lyk God in common. cause i noe you'd be so understanding if i ever split my burden up with you. and you'd always be there. but life's lyk that. thanks for friday. really. though it was just a short moment. thank you hell lots (: you were amazing. its not just because we belong to the 'same species' that i feel so comfortable. theres smth more. i always thought you're pretty loh. Natural beauty. stubborn pig. if only you had not be shy and Listen. to me, deep in ur heart, its treasure that i see. and you're one who rrly treasure what you love. that is so sweet indeed (:


you noe, i think i'm one Blessed kid.
esp to have you by my side. whther its in sch, or not. its almst the same.
cause i think of you and you think of me!
someone once told me, if you rrly love someone. or someone is special to you.
you wld think "whats he/she doing now?"
or wonder if she has anything on today. that kindof thing.
and i realised, thats exactly how i feel!
msg that i receive, before reading them, i wld hope that its you.
weird, but still. haha and phone calls before i receive them, sometiems i wld just hope its you.
just so that we'd had a daily update on each other's life.
thats wat rrly is impt when someone's rrly precious to you i guess.
and yes, you're impt to Me.
(:


i came across this pic just now.
i MISS those times lyk crazy.
all those over night cycling. and laming ard.



its still has a place in my heart, really.

27th July'06

hey world (:
the past few days have been wasted mostly cause' of my laziness.
but everyday's still great.
because God's with us.
and yes, i'm still trusting in Him, definitely.

monday-
for the first time in my entire sec four life, i was early for monday assembly!
but i agreed to meet Soon Li and we'd go for it tgt.
that stupid woman went off without me!?
i was so early okaay. and i ending up being late, sitting at the corner, staring at the ants on thr floor in frnt of me.
who bully who!?

my teacher spoke to me about my reults.
speaking to him was Tough.
i really didnt want him to think that it was church and stuff that pulled my grades down.
though i noe thats how some ppl see it in sch.
i'm sucha bad testimony when it comes to studies.
buut, if God place me in Here, in this class, of All the other clases.
i'm sure theres a reason behind it yea?
i'm sure theres more to this.
so anyway,
as he was saying, speaking to me.
i was relieved. thank God it wanst wat i expected.
i thought he wld probably scold me.
or maybe even have the bad impression of church and stuff.
cause' he Used to be frm our church. just tt he doesnt attend anymore.
i suppose he noes that i noe that he noe abt me being anxious over what he'll think.
anyhow, he told me "if you really want it, excel in both areas."
it was rrly surprising to hear frm him.
it sounded lyk "do good in both areas, to Please God"
i dunno, somehow it seemes lyk that.
i pray that he'll expereince God's love again.
(:

i was having a blissful dream during A maths,
when lams whacked me Damn hard.
she pointed to the back door on my right.
guess what, Soon Li and elana tan were right there, making funny faces and actions.
i was lyk..Argh!?
you wake me up just to show me both of them!?
haha
okay lar, they werent that bad.
but it happens so often alr alright.
and i was dreaming of smth totally Amazing.
now, i cant even rmb it.
i want to rmb all the sweet and lovely ones that i have.
its so cool lar.


tues, wed-
was late for sch on tues, as well as wed.
i had to rush hme to get cash to top up my ez-link on tues morning.
and i was burning mid night oil, that left be late on wed.
unlucky for rachel to bum into me on wed.
haha that woman wanted to run to sch.
not that we dun rush to sch everyday, but run!?
that wld require Lots of energy.
so i made her walk.
and best, we were both late tgt.
i saw the disappointment in their faces.
cause i noe that recently, not only my studies but my conduct in sch was also deproving.
i dun think i'll get tt colours award thingy anymore.
cause' a student leader shldnt be late often!
as simple as that.
i hope all the hidings of my face behind the bk as she walked past rrly did help.


i received a phone call just now.
and it made me all so happy!
big Smile to this amazing thing.
i thought we're never gonna go out again.
some ppl say that in friendships, you've to noe whats right and whats not.
some, you just have to let go.
but i never believed in letting go.
if its bad, why dun try to mould it?
instead of letting it all go and slip away.
and den its good-bye forever.
thats not wat its supposed to be, that had be so sad!
i Knew God placed you in my life for a reason.
i Knew it, i Knew it! praise God (:
you're still the same old person.
just a lil more vain.
haha

and another You.
you're so weird nowadays lar.
whether its my prob, or yours.
i just pray that God will continually be in the centre cause' i'm not ready to let it slip yet.
never. and i noe you feel the same.


the past few days have been cool.
cool enough to sum this week to be pleasant.

of course, spiritual wise, everyone's having struggles.
if only everyone really mean what they say.
and of course, not just to keep Your word.
but rather, do things all out of the love for God.


Father Lord, we need you here. we really need you here. can you really see that my heart is heavy?
that my class needs lots and lots of help?
how come no one cares? Why?
why is it that ppl can claim to love You so much, claim abt your awesomeness, and yet when it comes to small commitments like pm, and those in class, they're off. no one's coming.
i hate to say this, neither do i wish to judge. but aint it similar to the scribes and pharisees?
its not just abt small issues lyk pm. things lyk your own spiritual walk and life.
why isit that ppl can sing of your greatness and when it comes down to this kindof thing, they're gone. and no one's interested.
i used to be so greatful for ppl whom i thought could understand.
but sometimes, it just seems lyk i dunno whats wrong in their lives, and they dunno whats going on in mine.
cause here i am, persuading lyk crazy. and there they are, refusing lyk Nuts.
i noe this isnt pleasant at all. i mean, no one likes to be the Naggy person. no one likes to be the 'bad guy'. and to be honest, i'm so tired of always having to Happen to be the one who's aware. and ignoring makes me guilty. and guilty makes me qns, and persuade.
maybe everyone has their own reasons and problems.
of course, i'm not perfect too. to be honest, my spirit, itself is weak. i'm not better.
and if ppl turn up, just because its the result of forcing, whats the point?
i dun wanna force, i just hope that my persuasion will maybe shake smth on the inside of you.
because you used to be so strong. you and you and you.
is this a problem of the world or is it just Me, alone?
do you even remember? we really said we wld press on together.
and reach out together. no, it wasnt me who said it. it was You, in fact.
and to the others who are weak as well, you all said you'll fight to the end. and you said God's amzing, powerful.
i noe its not just mere words. cause i've seen how God touched our lives.
if so, they Why is it that everyone's crumbling?
simple things lyk pm might not seem impt. esp the ones in our sch.
but if it doenst start within the christians, how are we gonna reach out.
no one understands lar.
i guess i'm as equally screwd up too. i'm in no position to judge.
i just noe that i an Angel frm above.
i need a guardian angel.
one to lead me and be with me always.



YONG CHIANG: yes, it doesn sound Nice. and stop using my Beautiful Name! its an insult!
ELANA: whats ur new link? and you Big Pervert! (:
SANDY: someone's birthday is coming. HUH. we're gonna eat! our fav hobby (:
NICOLETTE: heya (: i'll be strong and will you. we'll stay strong together!
SHEREE: i wanna be a nerd (X
[NA]: yes, my dear cg leader! watashiwa totaemo kirae desu!
LIYUN: wait till i'll show you my muscles, they'll be bigger den urs man. of course you'll have to wait haha.

23rd July'06

in life, theres Aways Always Always a constant circle going round and round and round.
a cycle of sadness and depression.
and then its happiness and smooth sailing.
den wham, troubles again.
Stupid Cycle.

but i guess its really the faith within that gets you moving.
to be honest,
i cant feel God anymore.
not the same way as i used to.
each time i come before God's presence, i dread of the outcome.
and Prayer's smth thats difficult.
not tht i dun pray. but its so tough to, esp when i'm alone. esp when i wanna speak to Him for a long long time.
the tiredness, distractions, watever just keep coming in.
making me stuck in this stupid cycle as well.
just ytd, we were talking abt overcoming our weaknesses.
if others can, why cant i?
but, i thank God for everything.
it really works.
count the blessings when things ard seem lyk curses instead.
and den you'll start to realise that God really does care for you actually.
you just have to be stronger and stronger and stronger.


God, if you really really do care,
please just hear what the ppl on this earth are crying out.
please come among our families.
get rid of all these vulgarities.
take away the violence and curses and hatred.
take away all the misunderstandings and suspicions.
come into our lives and please help us to see the light.
so many times, you promised that you will never forsake nor leave us.
if this is so, i pray that i'll never have to stumble so very often again.
i pray that all we see ahead is You alone and none other.
please just be with us and never let us go.
remember us.
i noe that you're listening.
i noe that you care.
but we arent perfect.
we tend to doubt. we're insecure ppl.
i'm longing to see heaven on earth.


i believe that what i'm believing in is the same thing as what i used to believed.
Lord i believe, help my unbelief.



an empty video recorder

21st July'06

friday! i was Happy until a few moments ago.
one of my good friends called and gave me a reality check. just minutes ago.
it was more like a Tight Slap in the face.
i'm really trying okay.
really!
everyday i go to sch and face the white board.
"52 days to prelims.. 102 days to O's (i think).. and blah blah days to Cambridge dinner..blah blah days to freedom"
if this is meant to Push us.
its really working.
too much in fact. i dunno where to start studying!
i got my report book today.
and they didnt believe me when i told them my class position.
their unbelieve only made things worse.
Eee. and jue was flipping thru my bk today. she said i used to be some smart kid. really.
i looked thru. and woah. seriously, i Really was doing well.
i mean lyk, 3rd in class, those A1s.
i wonder where they all flew to.
AIYA

God will Really really make a way right?

right now i just have to figure How am i going to present this report bk to my mum.
how am i going to put up with her Voice when i'm alr having trouble doing so.
i noe everyone wants to help me.
thank you for offering up your precious time and for all the times i've bugged you guys for much that i dun understand abt.
i pray that God will look down and see all these now. and Help ME.
i know He will. i just need some assurance frm no one actually. but frm Him only.
i really feel like crying ):
someone make me smile.


schoool.
seems happier and lighter esp when we all make an effort to be cool abt it.
chem prac was funny!
blame the class for the register order.
my bench was occupied by Nicole, Me, rachel and ms sarah lee.
and my left, right partners are Sotongs lar.
sarah is so far away ):
teacher called on me today. i looked to the left, and den to the right for help.
that was when i realised.
wah, die. both of them are equally as bad as me.
haha but it was funny.
cuase of the way we all screwd everything up.
practical. rachel ho, that woman mixed all the acid and solutions wrongly.
she titrated the stuff. and i had to help her to catch up.
it was really funny. you've got to be there to see it all manz.
so we were all laughing at her.
when..i realised i too was doing the wrong thing.
was supposed to add only lyk wat, 2 drops of starch sol.
i dunno how, but the instructions got mixed.
and the starch solution just kept adding on and on and on. and soon enough, the whole flask was Black.everyone had a shocked when they saw tt black stuff.
it was hilarious!
plus, titrating a coulourless sol so that it becomes colourless!?
it doesnt even make sense!
i told you we screwd everything.
Then it was sarah lee's turn.
i told you we were all sotongs lar.
She screwd up her chem prac too.
she added the wrong stuff as well.
hopeless, hopeless, hopeless!
i thank God for these bench mates anyhow.
it makes lesson more interesting!




i'm falling for 'Jars of clay' (:
and it was really nice singing in class today.
Mon, i'll bring my whole file of guitar scores.
and we'll sing and sing and sing.
that had be amazing.



farewell, fair cruelty