do you noe that you're actually very very impt to me?
sometimes as the days go by and as we live similar lives, but lives of our own, i realised that i let the day past without even talking enough to you.
its true that we're 'close', considering the places we go, the directions to which we dedicate our time and life to together.
but, but but its just not the same. its not the same.
it isnt any simlilar to what we were before we both grew so much. we used to play even more, and we used to share even more.
perhaps we've been so close. that we thought exchanging time for each other in exchange of other ppl wldnt matter much.
but i find myself missing you nowadays. i really miss the good old days when you didnt have to care so much for other ppl. when i didnt have to care so much for others too.
when we werent abt reaching out, or being more open.
i really miss the days when its just you and me, and others (: of course you've ur own grp of friends and mine too.
i think its jealousy. its looks lyk an ugly word. and i dun want to be jealous. but do you noe smth, feeling it actually makes me realise the impt of you.
why else wld one feel that way?
it doesnt mean that i hate whoever comes your way, or wanting you to place us first.
no, not at all. it just means that i hope to share the fun n laughter too. it makes me happy to see you happy. but it really makes me sad to see that the friendship that we share is slowly dying away.
i dun want you to get it all wrong. i know that many times you've doubted this friendship of ours.
pondering if this is actually worthy? was it the fact that we were so close, that i took you for granted at times? was it the fact that you doubted too, that you didnt want to be hurt and so you let loose a little?
i realised that i never actually told you how much you mean to me.
because it makes me feel so weird! i used to think, what if you dun treasure me the way i treasure you?
but no, i've come to discover that really, what matters most is who you are to me. it doesnt matter how you feel. thats what unconditional is about, aint it?
i dun want to fret over, us always being on the same level of things and who's gona be better.
true is, i never felt that way. but i fear that you wld. its such a sensitive topic, that i try hard to avoid it. i dun want this kindof things to come our way.
it doesnt rrly matter. if its your calling, why not? it wld be amazing just for you being who you are and me for what i am, and not having thoughts that we wld be on different levels one day.
it really doesnt matter to me.
our circumstances allow us to be close. but how close is close? i think i'll miss you Hell lots when things are different.
that day will come. when we each go our separate ways. and i dun think it'll be long.
i want to cherish and love you for who you are. the way you've always been to me!
i tink you'll feel so orbiang lar, but stilll, these are some things which i've wanting to tell you, but never got to.
i really do Love you. i really really do (:
and i feel like hugging you, dear friend.
you really mean alot to me.