31st July'06

its a brand new day indeed.
but smth got me all so excited frm the moment i woke up.
it was the deliverance.
it seems lyk things happened just an hr ago.
i got so excited when i reached sch.
i wanted to just open my mouth and talk abt wat happened.
and share. but den i stop.
i just realised, there was no one i cld talk to abt it!?
):
i was so sad. there was only sarah.
the rest didnt really understand.
but still, i kept feeling the joy within me.

i conquered a lil something last night.
before i went to bed, i closed my eyes in the dark and prayed out.
Loud.
it lasted for ard 15 minutes.
though it wasnt smth Great or amazing.
i know i conquered smth.
cause i've never rrly got the guts to this before.
either i try and i end up falling asleep. or i pray in the light.
i think its cause' of the wild imagination that i have.
to tell the truth, i was fearful indeed.
not That i lasted thsoe 15 mintues with a peaceful soul.
i kept opening my eyes, out of, yes, fear.
but it was Amazing (:
a little baby step at a time.
i noe i'll be able to see heaven one day.


i dreamnt of smth last night.
and when i woke up, i realised it must be some kindof word frm God.
i think? cause things seem to make so much sense.
so here goes wat was in my dream:
we were at amk mrt station. me, shrooms and nanxiao.
and there was this commotion.
and rumours that it was Safe to walk on the mrt train tracks.
you see, by walking on the tracks, you take a short cut.
and so in my dream, ppl were walking on the tracks.
and others, mostly were taking the escalators. or walking on the platform.
i was on the platform. and shrooms was too.
but she was Superb near the edge, she was almst falling off.
and nx, she listened to those rumours, she walked on the tracks.
and that was when i heard God speaking to me.
he told me that those on the tracks were unsaved. they were the ones in danger.
i dunno why, but that catholic high guy appeared in my dream too.
he was on the escalator.
i really think its God revealing smth to me.
casue i've always wondered if he, was a christian too.
so when i heard frm God, i panicked.
so did shrooms. cause' nx was on the tracks.
we cried out to her and thank God, she turned her head and heard us.
and she made her way back.
this, i felt God speaking to me abt this in my dream. that, she'll come back. that her heart will no be hardened. that its never too late. cause' i've been disappointed and losing hope in her lately.
it somehow seems lyk she isnt as open as before. and i wondered, where did all those fastings, prayers, money go to? ptl indeed. i felt so assurred in my dream.
and in my dreams, there was shrooms.
i wasnt very sure myself why she appeared in my dream.
until i recalled my dream today in sch and i spoke to her.
she didnt attend service ytd.
i noe its God. calling her back. drawing her back into His presence.
she was standing so near the edge of the platform in my dreams.
and the fact that she has been struggling for quite some time make my dreams make a whole lot of sense.
its no point being a mere christian alone.
God doesnt just want that. He wants a personal, close and intimate relationship with us.
i was taken aback when i spoke to her in sch today.
so much that i forgot to share with her my dream.
):
i wonder if she'll believe me if i tell her later on tonight.
this, isnt the first time she appeared in my dream alr.
and its not the first time that God's calling out to her.
i think my Saviour is so loving indeed.
right, and back to my dream.
so after nx got back onto the platform with us, i saw this woman.
she was hugging her little baby. and i just stared at them.
they were on the tracks. and they were determined to be on the tracks.
all i had to do in my dream, was to open my mouth and tell her to get her feet onto the platform.
but i didnt open my mouth. i never did.
and she went off with her Baby in her hands.
they both suffered Because of ME.
):


God's telling me smth i noe.
i noe i noe i noe.
i noe i have Alot of Fears.
which i have to clear, slowly.
bit by bit.
and i'm gonna fight it all Off.
it was amazing.
really. it nearly blew me off my feet.
but the important point is what the next step will be.
i know i have to change my attitude towards ppl.
and i have to use a different approach.
Lord, teach me how. i cant do this without you.
i dont want to screw things up anymore.


praise God for everything indeed.
i feel so happy.
i feel lyk screaming and shouting for joy.
and i feel like dancing. (:
i know You'll show me heaven one day.
i Know we Will see Heaven on earth one day.
i know what i just blogged abt probably seems hard to believe.
i dun really believe it either.
but its True.
i'm not lying.
i know that God noes its true. and its all that really matters.
i Know and i Believe indeed.
(:



cause' you're all that i ever need in life.
all that i ever wanted.