28th May'06

i'm paranoid about the people i meet
why are they talking to me and why cant anyone see,
i just wanna live

i shant talk much about today.
smth tells me tt it aint very pleasant.
i just want to say tt i'm not angry.
nor do i blame anyone. i'm sure she feels the same way.
i understand the situation.
i really really do.
but i guess, no one rrly believes me.
i dunno wat was it tt i was feeling.
watever it was.
i just thank God for people.
yes ppl ard me.
i realised tt everyone Counts.
every single person. whether you feel lyk they're your good buddy or not.
they can be rrly sweet when you're dwn.
and tt makes me feel so loved.
i admit tt there were a few times when i tried to hold back my tears.
no. it isnt abt tt event or watsoever.
i just dunno wat it is.
so dun blame anybody for it.
thank you so much for trying to cheer me up.
sandy wong. evan pay. liwen. elana. jolene. fiona. liyun.
though You guys said tt my smile was so fake.
i'm okay
i really am.



i was thinking Alot just now.
what if i were to back up.
and give it all up.
maybe try a whole new world?
thank God i'm a woman of No guts.
if not.
you never noe where i will be now.

i promised God i will be strong.
i promised Him that i'll still be there standing.
even if the world around me crumbles and fall.
what more can i say?


its chinese O's tmr.
oh wow.
and i'm here online.
i cant seem to study.
i Cannot get anything into my brain.
this is so disturbing.
my mind's partially clogged up.
i just want to forget, forget, forget abt everything.
maybe brainwashing for a day wld be good.
i hope tmr will be fine.
yes.
its gonna be a brand new day.
clean. and i'll make sure i'll make tt whole day Perfect.
i cant wait for tmr.





its the laughter among the tears that matters the most

27th May'06

sometimes i feel so restricted.
my steps are controlled.
i feel lyk giving up and backing out.
i have my own issues too.
its not lyk i dun have.
i really dun wish to be like that.
but it just seems lyk no one cares abt anything.
so why den shld we care?

24th May'06

praise God, Praise God, praise Gog, Praise God!
His praise shall continaully be in my mouth.
No, i wont let the things tt happened affect me.
No, i'll let them be.

bball was so fun today!
but i realised i wasnt as rough as before!
its a good thing? i dunno. haha
cause' if i'm rougher, i wld actually play better.
but being rough actually means risk injuring ppl.
and its not lyk you dunno me.
i've injured quite a number of ppl.
AIYA.
anyhow.
i am sososo DTERMINED to brush up my bball skills!
i wanna join bball in JC.
thats a High dream i noe. but hey, who noes?
all the talk on JC just got me rather depressed n worried.
i realsied.
i dun even noe where i'm heading.
i wanna go VJC. but just look at the pts man.
just look at them.
theres a huge gap between mine and the expected pts.
bball! kick-boxing (: and drums!
i wanna learn them.
was playing bball today when my body starting shivering.
and those goosbumps just kept popping out.
they wldnt stop.
i thought smth was wrong with me. haha
oh well, i'm Alive.
how bad cld it get?

praise God for mock examination paper one results.
i thought it wld be bad.
nth will Be Bad with my God. that, i believe.

to tell the truth.
i rrly rrly feel lyk complaining.
maybe its the result of keeping some things here n there inside my heart.
and now i feel lyk exploding.
i'm not blaming God for wat has happened.
i just think tt life is can be so screwd at times.
and look at the way ppl fall.
just look at how foolish they can get will you?
or just how dumb n foolish they can get.
or rather, insensitive.
aiya.
either way, its the same.
screwd.
i'm rather tired of having to be the one calling n asking.
to be Bugging at ppl non-stop.
i feel lyk i'm such a Big Fool.
when no one cares, why shld i care?
tell me why.
wats the pt of falling n den picking urself up, regretting wat you did.
why dun we jus make a strong decision to stay firm n not fall at all.
it will be so much better.






i just want to love you more.
teach me how

22nd May'06

sometimes it just seems so hard not to care.
call me busybody or wat.
but i left the matter alone.
and since it has come after me, i dun feel tt its right not to care.
nobody wishes to be a Busybody.
Nobody.
not even me.
but i Hate not helping esp when you feel tt you shld.


what a beautiful smile

20th May'06

hey world.
i found my phone.
its such an Amazing thing.
take it lyk you finally reached hme after spending a night filled with fun out.
and when you open ur wardrobe, the first thing you see is ur long lost phone.
wat a Nice way to end the day off.
splendid.
praise God for His faithfulness.
i realised tt my God is SO so much more faithful than me!
i've got alot to learn.

everything seems to be so much more smooth sailing nw tt the exams are over.
i almst jumped for joy

spent the night over at Sandy's hse.
tt woman is so lousy lar!
one blink of an eye and Proof! she's snoring.
haha
so i just sat there with liyun watching some ghost show.
how dumb.
we were practically scaring ourselves.
or maybe its just me.
aiya either way.
i think everyone was So tired.
cause they went off to sleep!
but it wasn't even 3 am yet.
i had to use the toilet real badly.
call me lousy or wat. but i just didnt have the guts to go there alone.
and so i did the stupid thing.
controlled my bladder till morning.
haha
i practically Ran for the toilet.

prayer meeting blew me off today!
i was so nervous n scared over the whole thing.
but when it actally started.
whoa, the presence of God was just amazing (:
He's still the same Saviour i noe. ytd, today and forever.
it makes my heart skip a beat to even think abt it.

went over to jo's hse after cell.
deborah n liyun washed my hair! haha
i think being a hairdresser's rather cool.
i wont exactly mind styling ppl's hair!
anyhow, went off to play at the playground n corridor.
a lil accident happened.
i ended up having a baluku on my forehead n right leg.
tt big thing on my head hurts lyk crazy.
i hope it doesnt swell.
anyhow, jo, dun worry (:
i'm still alive!

they were planning all the activities n fun stuff we're gonna do during the hols during cell today.
got me so hyped up.
and today rrly made me realise smth.
some things Never change.
some ppl are just meant to be there for you.
i mean, those rrlyrrly good pals.
no matter wat happens, they are still there.
period. be it thick or thin. i really thank God for such ppl.
and den theres this other grp which is unchanging.
lyk no matter how far you run away, how far you go.
they're still there for you.
aint tt a nice feeling?
thank God for this buch of ppl too (:

i was just thinking
maybe i've been putting a strong front a little too much all these while.
i mean.
ppl Do fall.
ppl Are allowed to fall.
but sometimes when they fall, they end up hurting those ard them.
so perhaps its best tt one keeps to himself at times.
aiya
am i even talking english?
just treat this as a casual conversation.


shoots. fourteen days!?
tts like a longlonglong time.
i dont exactly consider it a bad thing. nor a good thing.
i just think it aint very pleasant.
wat am i supposed to do?
act lyk nth has ever happened? or just be friendly.
put on my Big Friendly smile.
act innocent n be a Fool lyk wat i was 2 yrs back.
rubbish.



i think i am get emotionally-influenced very easily.
tell me if its good or bad?

i want to Learn Kick-boxing.


evan: haha rubbish. i wasnt the only one who ate okay! theres Angeline n LIYUN who ate alot more than me

poke: (: thanks a million. and i found my phone! praise God (:

jo: it shall be my turn to wash ur hair nxt time!

i'm trying to peel this gum totally off the sole of my shoes

16th May'06

hey world, so lets see wats over and wats not.
mt paper 1-over
El paper 1-over
E maths paper 1-over

A maths paper1 n 2-not
Mt paper 2-not
El paper 2-not
E maths paper2-not
ss-not

frankly speaking,
i'm rrly glad i have the hols to study for my sciences and humans
if Not, i Will fail my sciences. comfirm 100 percent.
thank God for tt.

i tried studying in the library ytd.
apparently i managed to stay awake for only half an hr.
i spent the rest of my time there, falling asleep.
and when i woke up i was lyk 'woah'
Crap.
wasted so much time there.
so i tried studying at hme instead.
its no better lar.
i Had no choice but to break my fast.
i rrly had no choice.
my mama forced me to eat.
and i cant possibly tell her tt i'm fasting n stuff rite?
so, there goes.
oh well.
i'm still pondering over where i shld study tmr.

my hair is needs a haircut badly!
but if i snip it off it wont make into a ponytail.
yea, i'm keeping it.
shoulder length maybe.
hah, lets try this out

a phone call frm Jolene made me so happy ytd!
(:
i was rather surprised n elated hearing her over the phone.
apparently, she was worried abt me cause i lost my precious stuff.
so sweet lar!
make my heart melt only.
(:
and when i bumped into her this morning,
i felt lyk hugging her!
cause she said she missed hugging me on sundays.
but i resisted.
cause its rather wrong to hug her in sch, esp in such open areas, and in frnt of the staff room.ppl Will just staree and the teachers wld probably come after me after tt.
thank God i have a pony tail now!
who noes wat else they might think.
i am not exaggerating.
but my junior thoguht i was a bung.
RAH.
i'm not!
haha
so anyhow, i passed her tt postcard which i wanted to pass her so long ago.
(:
you are so cute!


we're most probably gonna watch the Davincci code this sat.
aiya however you spell tt.
i dunno how to spell it cause i've not gotten any near to tt book.
to be honest,
i've always been rather afraid of such rubbish, though i noe its not true.
i've been so curious over it
but everytime i hear abit of it, i get the creeps.
you tt eeriee feeling, and i'm afraid tt my faith will be tested.
but anyhow.
its all crap larh.
better to watch so you can explain to non-christian friends rite?
why not be part of it and let ppl see the light, rather than to hide frm it.
there rrly is nothing to be afraid of.


i rrly want my hp back.
and i Need it badly.
so do i with my wallet.
i MISS it so MUCH.
oh well.
i shall just try to be really really NICE.
haiyar, since the person has alr taken my stuff.
i shall just BLESSED tt person n not curse or watsoever.
so, if it rrly means smth to tt person in keeping my stuff.
if he/she rrly gets to benefit.
i dun mind not having them back.
just be blessed and go away, and..
DONT take MY STUFF again.
haha
i think i sound so rude.


i think its so much better to reply taggies here.
so here goes! (:

hansheng:
heya thanks a million for Your bk and for cheering me up! haha i'm feeling better
(:

jolene:
jojo! (: i noe you care. and i just want you to noe tt i CARE for you too!

sandy:
i'll teach you guitar if you dun mind learning frm me! and i DONT drink oil everyday okay. tts so gross! haha imagine tt liquid in ur mouth!?




and so i say it again, that you make my heart go faint

14th may'06



i dunno whether to cry or to laugh.

so it goes, after a greatgreat day in church.
i rushed hme.
bathed, and headed for the library.
i ran to the bustop hoping to catch the bus.
WELL. guess wat!?
i realised my hp was missing when i got onto the bus.
i mean, it Was with me just minutes before.
and the next thing i noe, Proof.
Gone.
my first reaction was wat the!?
i felt superb Lost at tt moment.
in short, i rrly felt lyk crying.
but i told myself Not to be discouraged.
and Most of all, Not to Blame God for all tt happened.
though deep in my heart i was crying and flooding Him with qns.
why me? why of all times, Now!? just before i get to the library n sit dwn and study?!
now i dun even feel lyk studying.

so anyhow, i alighted the bus.
and i rrly didnt noe wat to do.
i just walked ard tt isolated place for abt half an hr.
searching for some public phone, and getting over my senses.
finally, i board the bus Back to my hse.
right.
so here goes the other tragedy.
i Reached my hse.
alighted the bus.
and guess wat!?
my wallet's gone.
i dunno why, how, when. but for some reason. it just disappeared. out of my sight.
i rrly rrly felt lyk crying this time.
because its all so so freaky.
and mysterious.
my first thought was this character in the bible, Job.
God allowed Satan to come against Job, simply because job was a great servant of God.
His properties were taken away,
almst everything. He lost everything in a blink of an eye.
and even his relatives and family.
they were all dead.
yet Job still trusted in the Lord.
and God multiplied n blessed Him even more.

but this is soso freaky.
i dunno if God is testing me the way Job was tested.
but when i came online and i saw Sandy's msn nick.
"Shall we indeed accept good frm God, and shall we not accept adversity?" Job 2:10
this was wat it said.
i was taken aback.
because tt msg seemed lyk it was directly for me.
i think i'm getting paranoid. and very worried.
cause' my whole family's not gonna be hme today.
i was thinking and thinking and thinking,
wat if smth bad happened to them, just lyk Job?
but, i noe tt my God will protect me.
he wont allow anything tt i cant overcome fall upon me.
so i guess, i shld just shut up n stop complaining.
and give thanks instead for all the other goodness in my life.
maybe i just have to learn to get away frm all the worldly things.

it seems lyk i've been cut off frm the rest of the world.


anyhow
i guess i'm gonna pray and keep my day holy.
hopefully an angel will appear at my door tmr morning.
and return my those precious stuff.
and i'm gonna study hard!
nono, watever happened is not going to affect me.



at least, i'll make sure it doesnt

hey world,
look at this word, just look at it.
Joash.
J-o-a-s-h
i got this name out of all the mixing and matching.
NICE.
:D
i want my son to have tt name!
and i think "Tasha" sounds rrly nice too.
haha
look at what these beautiful names have made me become.


i studied today.
or you can say i studied alot.
i woke early today. for wat? to study lar!
and i even went to the library Alone.
cause' it was just too noisy at hme. and i felt so lethargic.
noe wat, loneliness KILLS.
it rrly does. i resisted myself frm talking to the wall.
it wld appear so Stupid. haha
anyhow, i was studying n studying n studying when the library got rrly empty.
cause it was dinner time.
den a Lesbain couple came along.
and of all places, they have to sit directly opp me.
so i was staring face to face with tt bung.
i almost puked.
not tt she's bad or anything. well okay, their actions werent That pleasant.
but she reminded me of someone.
it kindof evokes this sense of admiration n respect.
well, yea haha. i tend to respect n admire the love a Bung has.
i dunno why.
but it just seems so sacrificial n Special somehow.
Anyway. i think she recognised my sch or smth.
cause she just wldnt take those eyes of hers off me.
so i left in the end.
i kindof regretted. and tt stupid image of them is still stuck in my brain.
i shld have walk up n spoke to them.
and maybe tell them abt christ?
i noe it sounds dumb.
but who noes wat difference it wld make.

its all coming back.
and we're heading for china again.
with tt same bunch of ppl.
i wonder how much a person can change within 2 yrs.
i rrlyrrly do hope we changed for the better.
but i seriously cannot imagine US sitting together side by side just lyk before.

exams are starting in less than two days time.
i need to pray real hard for a miracle!
i believe, believe, believe
that all things Are and Will be Possible.


oranges, bananas, watermelon, apple, honeydew!
forgive me.
i think i got hyped up all of a sudden.
who wants to dunk some balls Now!?
i wish my mum gave birth to an older brother.
and a pretty little sister.






i'll do things My way. let me show you what its like.

12th May'06

i was just thinking today.
if someone were to point a gun directly at my head, wld i deny christ?
Nopes. i wont.
though i noe it WILL hurt FOR Sure.
and i noe it sounds dumb.
i'll just stand there n pray for a miracle.
either tt or i'll pray tt it wont hurt much.
maybe someone can try it out on me some day?
haha
i hope my faith doesnt fail me





cause' no words can describe what you mean to me

10th May'06

wednesday.
we took height n weight today.
and it was totally, absolutely horrible.
at least i grew a teeny weeny bit vertically.
other den tt, i grew Alot.
A lot, A lot, A lot.

we played bball!
and it made me rrly rrly happy.
i realised tt pumping in of adrenaline makes you real hyped up! (:
i cant get enough of it.
i'm glad to say tt i've started my A maths revision!
well, at least abit is better den nth.
since i cant change wats done.
lets hope i make the best of wats left.

i dun rrly understand you.
why are thigns still so uneven for you?
i've seen how things make a turn for the better this yr.
yet you choose to deceive urself tt
everything there is, is very superficial.
no wonder you never rrly felt happy.
i dunno how am i too help.
well, i guess its best i avoid, looking at ur state.
but i hope one day you'll find happiness?
serious.
studies arent everything you noe.


mamalicious!
cause' i took a spin at the playground the other day.
and i realised tt i've been missing so much fun.
and before i know it, exams are coming.
all the pressures n troubles of life are piling up.
within everything, we struggle to plan for fun.
outings at the beach, steamboat, shopping, so many rubbish!
its called self-dellusion.
i'm glad i master the art of it.



i'll always stand for you

9th May'06

i just realised that my exams start NEXT week.
that is lyk so soon.
i guess i was off somewhere day dreaming my head off.
so much tt i lost touch with things on this earth.
right.
won't be online for abt two weeks, i hope.
it wld be even better if i'm off for long.
i got to study realreal hard.

had prayer meeting today.
and i was thinking of some stuff.
i think we rrly need to do smth abt our sch.
We. OUR sch.
who noes, when all the sec fours graduate, PL will be soso dead.
there'll no longer be revival.
its true.
you see, its lyk every wk, our prayer meeting only has the same old ppl.
all sec fours.
we rrly need to do smth.
just wat. when.
we need the strength.
we cant do everything all the time.
we have our studies too.
ppl always complain tt they are busy.
no time for bs, no time for cell, no time for service.
but lyk Hello?!
we're sec four.
yet we Are making time.
why not you guys too?
its not an excuse.

i'm sorry.
but i'm agitated n upset over the state things are.


things tt are impt to my life now (:
-God, jesus, Holy spirit!
-PL revival
-bball
-studies
-cell grp
-friends
-family
-beach!
-steamboat (:

um hmm.
other den tt, i guess i dun have tt much of a time to care anymore.




hey there, nice knowing you
its been real pleasant meeting you, i promise (:

7th May'06

sunday!
i LOVE sundays ((:
today's trip to lunch made me happy.
it wasnt the food or anything.
it was the company.
though it wasnt smth great.
but, simple things lyk hanging out together in a Big Big family made me feel the warmth within (:
uh huh
its Nice.

"if what you do isnt fulfilling God's purpose, whats the point?"
i so agree with this statement.

hey Rachel,
my best buddy.
i rrly hope tt you wont give up.
i noe the going gets rrlyrrly tough at times.
aiya.
but we're made to be conquerors yea?
not losers.

i've nth much to share in here.
i just hope tt the burden tts burning ard me will be lifted soon.
Real Soon.





fools dont differ

6th May'06

hey world.
today made me all hyped up and happy (:
right.
and so, i got my way out of the hse in the morning.
well, i felt so so bad.
its not tt they grounded me or smth.
but either way, they practically ignored me.
Anyhow. not going for cell will make me feel Even Worse.
so.
aiya, you noe and i noe.

anyhow, i was Superb early today.
was sitting at this bubble tea place in bishan, killing time, waiting for nanxiao n her cousin.
so i was with my precious bubble tea, reading the bible, listening to music.
when..
a pair of hands covered my eyes.
i cldnt see at all.
my gosh.
my first thought was,
"HUH!? who is this..ulu pandan guy"
the hand was rough so i figured it was some guy friend.
freaked Me out lar! i thought it was some kidnapper please.
and he still can remove his hands and Laugh AT ME!?
i had a shock of my life!
it was pleasant bumping into him though.
nice guy, i havent forgotten you, buddy (:
you Always, Always say tt you arent impt to me.
but you've always always been in a corner of my mind, unmoving.

went for cell (:
i'm starting to love everyone ard me More n More.
thank God for this wonderful, wonderful family.
yea yea (:
i'm loving it. a whole lot!
smth embarrassing happened.
i wore my bro's friend's slippers cause i cldnt find my today.
it has Absolute No friction alright.
so when i reached for cell, i was jumping alr.
who noes tt the ground was wet.
Bam. i slipped and slided on the floor when i jumped.
shoots.
super embarrassing n painful
Rah.
i was laughed at!
haha but seriously, i dun mind making everyone happy even if it means embarrassing myself.

we ATE and Ate after cell.
the other cell made their way not long later.
i felt so loved!
Oh Manz. its so wonderfully amazing.
the way sarah lee clung to me.
the way sandy wong hugged me.
the way evan pay hugged me too.
the way i cuddled up to elana.
oh manz. i rrlyrrly felt lyk giving each one of them a Big Fat Kiss!
haha of course i didnt.
though i was rather grossed out by their actions.
aiya! i was just kidding n playing.
i rrly love you guys (:
you dunnoe how much you mean to me.
you guys make fiona smile!
and jolene was being sucha Darling.
she gave me tt card card card!
so sweet lar.
my heart nearly melted.
almost. (: you got to try even harder nxt time.
haha

went over to Rach's hse to dunk some balls.
i think she must be rrly happy.
cause we flew all the way there to keep her company.
haha
me, liyun n junle.
it was super Fun (:
i wanna go dunk More balls Again.
we were laughing, singing songs and joking throughout everything.
eh. and they made tt stupid bet.
tt if my team lose, i've got to wear bikini, and junle trunks.
my gosh.
i was lyk, wat the!?
haha!
of all times, we had to lose at the very last match.
but NAH. i am Not going to wear tt bikini thingy.
Skirt. i promised them, wat can i do!?
haha
we played bball barefooted,
my feets' all sore and painiful.
but it was worth while(:




hide-and-seek can be a tiring game at times

6th may'06

i woke up with this Sick Bitter feeling.
i shant complain, or scold in here.
i figure tt it wont make me feel any better anyway.
Jesus, I stand for You, No matter what You lead me through
They will chase me out, and close me down. but Jesus, I stand for You


they've made me feel so bitter and rotten on the inside.
sometimes i rrly just cant help but ask WHY?
i noe i've asked it so many times.
but still.
hold your tongue.
its blabbering so many things tt i dun want to hear.
and they rrly make me sick and angry.
look who's the one who isnt stting a good example.
look who's the one who's corrupted.
You. not me.
stop blaming me.
Jesus, I've stood my ground, When unbelief was all around
I have felt the sting rejection brings. but Jesus, I still stand for You



I,
dont rrly noe wat to say alr.
i dun feel lyk saying much.
i just feel lyk punching someone Real real hard.
A time will come when everyone will turn their eyes on the risen son
Until that day, this world will turn away
So I'll take your hand, I'll always stand for You

other den tt, everything else is fine.
i supposed.
we played bball ytd!
tt little thing gt my adrenaline kicking in.
Nice (:
shall go throw balls someday.
its makes me rather happy.
shopping with ah Soon made me feel so comfortable ytd.
its been rather long since we both last went out together.
i miss my darling soso much.
life's been so catchy.
i thank God for things tt never change.





start the first move, and let me noe if its true

4th May'06


hey world, i'm back alive n kicking (:
firstly. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to SARAH LEE
i thank God for princess Sarah!
i rrly rrly hope you lyk tt present i gt you.
i explored this rather old but cool christian stall and
after spending a long while staring at those Beautiful stuff,
i decided to get you That.
(:
someone just bless me with those pretty little spiritual gifts frm there.
i wld so Love it.

anyhow, i feel so free
did i mention my heart has just bloom a flower?
i feel so relaxed
Rejoice. my tests are over. at least for this wk.
leave it to some other time to fret over the results.
its time for a little break now.
i can seriously feel all my pimples popping.
you see how stressing this can be?
its not even That Near O's and the ppl ard me are scaring me.
some stop coming online.
some stop blogging.
some start mugging lyk some siao nerds.
and some just remain cool and calm the way the are.
like me.
and i think i'm crazy.
cause' i Ought to Feel smth.
why aren't i feeling Anything??
i'm gonna spend my days in the library as the exams draw near.
its gonna be my second hme.
i realised. it can be rrly productive.
haha. i in love with studying.
right

its been a while since i hit the streets.
its present-hunting tmr with ah Soon.
i kindof miss tt place!
hah

sharing of devotion in frnt of the whole sch was rather okay i guess.
guess wat
of all days, i had to oversleep on tt day.
so well, i rushed to sch.
and Of Course, when you rush to sch, everything will be in a mess.
my rather long hair was flying everywhere, messed up.
socks were low. forget to remove my unmatched earring.
den Just befre my sharing in Front of the whole sch.
the discipline mistress came up to me
she was lyk:
"fiona, your hair is rrly long, see me later. i'm gonna cut ur hair for you.
and buy a new pair of socks.
throw away ur earrings. and ur nails!"

Rah! of all times!
i was fretting lyk crazy while i shared the devotion.
i think i sortof screwed things up.
but anyhow, thank God she didnt cut my hair.
who noes wat i'll look lyk now.
anyhow, i've got to tie it frm now onwards.
and tt earring is in the dustbin!
it was a gift!
i'm gonna save up n buy the exact one back.
i dont care!


my dad was talking a Whole lot just now during dinner.
he was talking abt occupation n ur grades blah blah blah.
den my brother mentioned smth abt his future career.
and my mum said smth abt a pastor and she was laughing away.
i just went,
"i want to be a pastor"
Woahh.
you shld have seen it all.
the entire atmosphere changed.
you cld practically see their faces and their emotions.
i shld have just shut my mouth up.
i shld have just zip up my stupid mouth.
but inside me, my heart was overflowing with excitement and joy.
of course, they all started lecturing me and watever lar.
they think that i've been influenced.
and they said pastors are for chosen ppl. anointed ppl.
i rrly rrly felt lyk saying,
"how do you noe tt God hasnt spoken to me? you dun noe how much i've grown spiritually.
if only you wld just care n listen."
well, i tried it before.
i tried sharing with them abt all the amzing encounters i've had before with God alone.
but the refused to listen till the end.
they just shook their head n refuse to admit tt God did smth great in me.
they think i'm too young.
tt i'm just a little pea.
but hey, my saviour can use anyone.
Anyone.
why wont they listen?
sometimes, it rrly hurts.

anyhow, i'm fine.
because i rejoice in wat the Lord has done.
she's really improving.
and now tt i see it all happening.
this is So COOL.
i'm so glad tt i'm actually the one witnessing this all happening.
she's growing, i can sense it.
and soon, her bible study's starting.
she's been coming back more n more often for cell,
for service.
i thank you God.
its another princess in Your kingdom tt i will see being added soon.
(:
yea.
this is so cool.




i still think that you are lovely
fret not, baby

and so, i'm back again.
sad to say, i wasted practically the whole day.
i spent 6 hrs plus plus, forcing myself to Sit at my table.
but i ended up staring at those pages straight.
ppl i noe were locked at hme today, just lyk me!
its Happy Lethargic day
well, i'm a sec four kid, wat can i expect?


i''m bored.
seriously.
well, you cant blame me for doing this little thing.
everyone's allowed to do things they feel lyk it every now and then.
and tt includes me (:


My ex is: a dude
Maybe I should: stop slacking n start studying Hard
I love: hanging out at the beach
I don't understand: why gays are Gays
People say I'm: childish
Love is: something amazing
Somewhere, someone is: feeling as bored n useless as me
I will always: Love Jesus (:
I think the current US President: is doing his business
When I wake up in the morning: i think of wat is to come
My past was: stupid
I get annoyed when: i get bugged at for Superb long
Parties are for: FUN, for ME
My dog is: my imaginary
My cat is: not alive. will never be, i dun want it to be
Kisses are the best when: its dark n rainy
Tomorrow: i go to sch n the library to be a Nerd
I really want: to see Heaven
I have low tolerance for people who: Nag
People who should do this: are ppl who want to be entertained





i'll follow you if you follow me

i was just surfing almst at nth.
i was bored.
and cmk showed me some stuff.
its Superb Hilarious i tell you, haha i cant stop laughing!
she showed me blogs of Gays and funny videos.
well, its a Great source of entertainment.
but thinking again,
its such a Waste.
a complete Pity.
sometimes i rrly dun understand, God made them so pretty,
why do they want to destroy this beautiful creation.



the libraray's close today!
Rah.
thats a Down to my studying plans.
because there goes my air con and quietness.
i have none of these at home.
and its boring studying alone.
plus all the distractions at hme.
shoots.
if i have the power, i wld make a 24/7 libraray







i wanna let you go

i'll Punch you if you take a step nearer.
sometimes, just sometimes.
i Bite.

i just feel like doing smth EXTRAordinary all of a sudden.
i feel lyk grabbing my guitar, a mike, a big big Blasting CD player
and a Huge bunch of my crazy friends.
and we'll Dance n sing lyk crazy
lyk theres no tomorrow.
(:
guitar for me to feel tt i'm an exert, though i cant play well
mike for us to sing!
and CD player to blast the real actualy music which we're singing
sounds FUN huh


heres to Jolene:
BIG HUG
you said you feel lyk hugging me.
and tt sentence made me smile!
i'll hug you anytime if you want (:
rrly!




i should have treasure those little things soso much more

you were my eyes when i cannot see

how does Mother Fiona sound?
seriously, i think its rather Cool haha
i mean, Wow. Really.
i was just reading this little article on Angelina Jolie
and i thought,
hey, i wanna be like her.
she's doing her part by saving the world.
i wanna be a hero lyk her.
even if i cant save everyone, i can save someone.
(:
that is so cool.

band concert was rather cool
we were all wearing skirts!
it doesnt feel tt bad afterall, if you get use to it, that is.
met up with cmk tt whole bunch.
practically the whole of PL was at hardland's flower shop, buying flowers.
for a moment i rrly regretted not joining band.
i wanna have flowers too!
some things are just so unfair.
make me happy and Give me flowers!
(:
i mean wat i say.

and so it goes tt cmk tt whole bunch wanted to take a cab dwn.
well, those guys had no money so rachel n me took bus with them.
guess wat,
we overshot the bustop and gt stranded along the road for awhile.
when we finally gt to the concert, the last song was over.
but the concert was raher nice.
it aint tt bad lar (:
really.
darl liyun was rrly sad tt everything was over.
it kindof makes me feel the same too.
it makes me have this urge of trying to cheer her up, just tt i didnt noe how to.
well, i believe God will make good friendships last.
so fret not! (:

some things went a little screwd ytd.
evan pay.
you almst freaked me out, seriously.
but i thank God for sucha great sister lyk you, really.
i feel lyk hugging you again!
please please please dun ever show tt face again.
it is superb scary n eerie.
i prefer to see you smiling!

bummed at Rachel's hse over the night.
it cld have been more fun if i didnt allow her to sleep!
haha
but it was still nice.
because its my Great pal's company tt matters (:







like i said, if its God's will, it will be

it seems like these words "play", "shopping" are hardly in my vocab now.
i just realised tt the last time i actually rrly walked in town was Superb long ago!
and i've been spending time in the library for the past few days, just studying.
you see you see..
the life of a sec Four kid.
its all coming true.
wat i've predicted Is all Happening.
well, at least i'm finally doing smth.
and Rach's doing smth too.
at least we arent slacking as much as we used to.

physics prac was so screwd lar.
this whole morning was practically rubbish!
i dunno why.
but i just felt so empty frm the start of the day.
it feels lyk theres smth Real Real Big lacking, and missing.
just tt i dunno wat it is.
i needed a Big hug real badly.
but soon li yun was so sweaty in her PE attire.
and Rachel hooo is too decent to give ppl free hugs.
haha
so i hugged sarah lee! (:
it rrly did help alright.
the warmth of someone spreading to you, maybe you guys shld try it someday.
and i had this Bad stomachache in the morning.
so crap.
i spent my assembly bombing the toilet haha.
so you see, for some reason, the morning spent was not good at all.
and when even before physics prac started, i was alr so numb.
when it hit, it Hit real bad.
it sucks.
i think i'm goin to fail AGAIN! )))):
aiya, but forget it.
wats done is done right right right?
anyhow,
went to woodlands library later to Study maths.
i'm gonna be a good kid.
the library is my Favourite place frm now onwards (:



i think ihave a fettish for day dreaming.
esp abt the future and wat is to come.
we were just talking abt marriage today.
haha!
its Darn funny.
i'll laugh if i see anyone marrying some ulu pandan guy whom i noe.
i just think its so funny.
dont you?
and its cool.
lol
okay lar, to tell the truth, i'm rather hyper n high now.
because becuase because, praise God!
physic n chem prac are over!
i've found the imptance of certain things.
and it rrly just pleases me to be ard them every second.


sometimes the thing tt you love is smth tt you really want to hate

this world is so complicated, i just thank God for simplicity.

its a monday, and it started off Great (:
chem prac went more or less, Fine.
i hope.
well, at least it was manageable.
i had a dream last night!
and i dreamnt of Michelle.
i dreamnt tt she was depressed and sad over smth lyk her dad.
i havent spoken to her yet, but it had be amazing if its true.
wldnt it?
i mean, the way God works.
yea, truly. (:

so let me ask tt qns again,
wat eactly does it feels lyk to be lost.
i hate that feeling.
i so hate that feeling.




i just feel so thankful for so many ppl ard me now.
i dunno why haha.
alright, words are better expressed when written.
yea? i hope.
at least better then nth.
cause i'll be too shy to say some things out in person.


Rachel
hey woman, you've kindof invaded my life.
in a Nice Nice way of course (:
you've been sucha Great Great pal.
someone whom i cld actually be with 24/7 and never get tired of.
be its studying, sports, eating or just roaming the streets.
it just seems lyk we have a never ending things to talk abt.
or if not, just stay and enjoy each other's presence.
its not just a buddy, but its smth much much more to me.
you've become one Close person whom i can actually turn to when i rrly need someone to be there.
and you noe wat, you've made my days so much happier.
i've learnt to take things lighter and let go of things which are unpleasant.
you said tt i'm an encourager in ur spiritual walk with God. and you're so amazed.
but truly, you've been such a great one too.
together with that company of urs frm ur church.
hopefully we'll all hang on again. it was rrly fun.
and den again,
i rrly thank God for having such an Amazing friend lyk you.
and i rrly think its God's plan because because because i've known you since pri one?
though we werent tt close den.
still, 9 yrs dwn the road, and proof!
same class again.
i think its so cool.
i use to worry hell lots over irrelevant stuff, but i noe tt God will watch over our friendship and keep eevrything strong.
i Love you, buddy!
(:



Liyun
hey there! You again. (:
haha
though you've been rrly busy nowadays with ur band stuff.
and it seems lyk we both have our own stuff going on in sch n studies now.
you still mean a whole lot to me.
i thank God tt at Least we're in the same church, same cell.
i still get to see ur face on weekends!
if not, i guess we wldnt even be this close by now.
You. made me myself.
you make me laugh and actually not care abt how others look at me.
i rrly hope we can all strive n study hard together for the coming O's.
its a scary thing.
but i noe it can be overcome.
i miss the good old days too.
a whole lot in fact.
but if the old doesnt die, wld the new come.
i dun think so.
i tink we've known each other well enough tt i dun even have to say more.
(:
you noe n i noe and tts enough!
fiona Loves you!


Sarah
though we arent that that that close.
woman! its a pleasure to be ard you always.
be it anywhere.
and i'll never ever forget the very first time when you brought me to church.
tt little spark started off a great work in me.
look what ur little act of faith did in me.
so many ppl have told me tt they feel so inspired by my own spiritual walk.
even you said the same thing.
but you noe wat.
i rrly want to say thankyou.
and tt
eveything tt i am now, started off with a little action of urs.
so you see,
i noe you struggle at times.
with your own relationship with God.
but i believe He will do Great things in sarah lee!
i'm Ur testimony, keep hanging on.


Shu Mei
we've grown a little closer now yea?
since God revealed to me a little of wat you are going through.
i just want to say tt i'm so proud of you.
so so so prod of you.
you noe honestly, when you shared all ur problems.
i was having doubts tt you wld sldie back to God.
but you did!
and tt rrly amazed me.
isnt it amazing.
i'm so proud of you.
so proud of you hanging on during tt tiring run for Napfa though u had asthma.
so proud of you willing to sacrifice ur studies for God.
i'm glad tt you finally realsie wats most impt in ur life.
(:
i'm always here.
was here and still here.
i promise.


Sandy
sandy wong!
though we're in diff cells now.
i just want to thank God for havin ga great sister lyk you.
i was sososo afraid tt our friendship wld be affected.
but nah, i dun think so anymore.
you noe wat, you're rrly amazing.
i rmb how you used to fantasize abt ur class getting saved.
and even dream abt it a bit.
but now tt you've acted out, its all coming to pass.
Cool. i am so proud of you too (:
and you make me feel lyk a big big sister.
i wanna protect you!
i'm Your guardian angel rmb?
yes yes i am.
i am still here for you if you need me.
(:
love ya!


Weide
hey bro.
probably one of my closest guy friend.
thanks so much for All the encouragements n testimonies you've been blessing me with.
they rrly worked a whle lot in me.
i was so inspired by what God has done in you.
just, thnks for being there.
and being who you are.
steamboat at marina bay hor! dun forget
and i noe God has a whole lot more installed for us all.
keep growing!
see ya ard in chruch (:





i saw an angel today

i'm back to claim God's amazing love for me again!
i just cant help it but be so amazed every single day.
though i did nth to deserve this all,
all i ever want is to ask for more.

firstly, i am Awed by how much God loves me
seriously, i'm not bragging.
because there was this grp work thing tt i have to do, and well, i was the grp leader.
to tell the truth, i AM very Slack larh.
i didnt even bother to do a single thing.
but its rrly sucha waste of time.
i rather lock myself up and spend time studying instead.
so anyhow, i got myself into deep trouble.
and i was rrly panicking today.
guess wat.
here goes the amazing part again.
the teacher actually spoke n kindof lectured the ppl who didnt hand up the grp work.
everyone except for me.
she didnt even asked abt my grp nor demand any explaination or anything.
in short, we gor away, totally free.
i dunno why.
its either she forgot totally abt me,
or smth else.
either way, isnt it amazing.
i was superb relieved after everything.
thank God she didnt come after me, if not i think i wldnt make it out alive.
i just feel that God is watching over me no matter wat happens.
of course, it rrly isnt good tt i shake off my respnsibilities n Slack my way through.
but despite my weaknesses, God still Is there for me.
aint it amazing?
its not just once.
it has happened sososo many times.
just like weeks ago.
when i used to be so lazy n not bring my text books to sch.
even smth lyk this so small, i'm not even doing well in it.
can you imagine me?
and i was even too lazy to go borrow text bk frm other ppl.
i just sat there in class, waiting for the teacher to arrive n scold me, though i was fearful, i noe tt i deserved it.
but God didnt let tt happen.
guess wat my amazing Saviour did?
my teacher was absent on the day tt i had no text book.
and it isnt just once.
it has happened more then twice.
if you ask me,
no. it isnt coincidence.
cause nth is coincidental with my hero.
after wat happened today, i rrly thought abt it.
i noe He wants me to change.
to throw away the imperfectness and become someone so beautifully made in His name.
well,
if you ask me,
i am more den willing to do it for Him.
(:



i wanted to retake my 2.4km today.
my timing's super slow lar.
i cant believe i deproved, compared to the trail one.
how can this be!?
so i wanted a retest.
but how retard can i get? it was when i started running tt i realised no one was taking timing for me.
anyhow, at least running was of some good use.
i am so PROUD of SHROOMS
((:
really really.
i noe you put in alot of effort, and you did improve a lot.
i believe tt God Is so proud of you, seriously.
we can always try again, its neevr too late.
and if holding your hand helps,
i dun mind jogging beside you throughout everything, until you pass.
i'm sure Rach n Jac wont mind too (:

i noe my class is going frm glory to glory.
yups (:
i can sense it.
it makes me rrly happy to see everyone lyk this.
its just smth tt you can sense abt.
if i can, i dun see why others cant see it.
just lyk Her.
look at her.
she's slowly sliding back to God.
i am so happy abt everything.
at least those days of nagging paid off.
and i rrly thank God for the prophesy made over this class.
plus the visions seen, i believe its never gonna be the same again.
just today only,
i felt the warmth spreading within when they asked me to pray for them.
can you feel it?
yes i can.
i am ready because its time i see everything So Beautiful happening.
its time i see everything coming to pass for real.
its smth too strong to deny


its a friday!
today's the last Gb meeting in my whole entire life.
thank God for tt.
finally, i gt a break frm it all.
not tt i hate it.
but i think 4 yrs is more den enough.
i wanna join smth more exciting in JC.
smth lyk sports :D
well, tts if i can haha.



i think you reallyreally look so fine.
that i still Cannot get you off my mind.
and i think its really really amazing to noe tt you have been so near me all along.
but this little fact has really made my heart gone wrong.

if its God's will, i know it will be.

i've got smth rrly Great to share.
smth rrly amazing and Nice.
so if you're not ready to hear watever is to come, i suppose you had better not stay.
cause' i'm a rrly naggy person.

first and foremost.
prayer meeting was Superb Great today.
its the longest and the strongest we've ever had so far this yr in PL.
i guess, even in history, its the strongest.
there were only the four of us.
liyun, sarah, rachel n me.
its lyk back to square one, where we first started out small n weak.
but this time its different.
we're much stronger now. (:
yea yea.
so we decided to make space n kneel down in a circle and just worship God whole heartedly.
and whoever has a song in her mind will start singing, and we just follow the spirit.
tts wat we did.
i wasnt too comfortable at first.
but let me tell you, it was Awesome.
it was rrly rrly awesome.
because after worshipping for a while, i just felt this strong n sudden urge to cry.
i dunno why, but i noe its God.
He told me not to be afraid.
He told me to be brave.
well, to make things easy, this was what he said to me :

"child, why are you so afraid? why do you doubt whenever you do things tt please me so much.
i know how you feel. i understand what you have been going through. so many times you've done so much for me, and you felt lyk a fool. but do you noe smth? i am so proud of you, my child. all these times when you werent sure if you were doing the right thing, i was actually by your side, smiling dwn at you. what you have inside of you, act it out. do my will. and dont be afraid. i am with you always. i've brought you so far, do you think i will forsake you? why do you doubt n fear so much? trust me, i Love You."

of course He said everything in a nicer way.
words just cant express wat He spoke to me.
i was so touched by wat He said tt tears started to come.
its amzing i tell you, my God is indeed amazing (:
if you dun believe me, let Me show You.
and den we splited up to pray, sarah n me together.
and here goes, the other amazing thing.
guess wat God revealed to her?
tt i was gonna be a cell grp leader, that i was going to be someone doing great things for God.
tt my calling in life wld be one to serve Him the way i've always wanted to.
i seriously didnt noe how to react.
i was happy of course, but scared n fearful at the same time.
theres so much to say abt wat happened today.
but i noe tt no matter much i try, i cant fully blog everything well in here.
i just want to say tt
my God is Great.
and i rrly rrly want to do my best for Him, in all tt i do.

cause' its You whom i'm living for, and no one else but you.




theres so much else to say, but i'm too lazy to type.
so anyhow,
i'm gonna MUG
i'm gonna be a good kid.


let me prove it to you

from God above

as i look at the world i began to dream
of the future, and what's yet to be
Your love so strong for everyone
You made us all in Your image

and You saved the day when Jesus came
and You took away all the sin and shame
You made us right again

You came from God above
the Father's only son
take my soul, made me new
and now i live for You

my heart is alive and my spirit free
in the saviour, gave His life for me
by Your word we will be the light in the world
my father, shine Your light in me

i'll stand on the word
be a light in the world
when Your praises are heard
we'll be singing, we'll be singing
we'll be singing, we'll be singing




isnt it just amazing to be singing n dancing in the hse of God?
YES i so think so.
smth happened during CME n PC today.
we had to write on this paper, abt out desired occupation in the future.
i thought n pondered.
but i didnt noe wat to fill in.
there is soso much tt i wanna do in the future.
i want to build a church.
i want to adopt children.
i want to do mission trips.
and i want to takecare of all the poor n needy.
i wanted to be like Mother Teressa.
just tt i noe, it requires a whole lot of faith.
its a Big Big sacrifice.
the more i thought abt it,
the more i realsied wat i wanted.
i wanted to help others in their spiritual life too.
i want to lead others to christ.
and i want to tell of God's amazing love, to the whole world.
tts what i thought.
i was rather confused n dazed by the wave of emotions.
den i just felt someone telling me to close my eyes.
and i did, in class.
and everything started coming into my mind.
the vision of me acting everything out in the future.
Everything happening. everything was just so amazing.
so so amazing.
tts when i thought.
all tt i rrly want to do links back to smth, a Pastor.
and yea, it sounded cool.
so i wrote it dwn tt i want to be a pastor.
(:
though i myself am not too sure.
abt wat God has installed for me.
maybe my calling isnt to be a pastor.
i'm not too sure.
but
its amazing for the time being.
it rrlly rrly is.
you've got to be there to noe wat i mean.


i will Live for YOU

He is the Lord, forever His praises remain

HAPPY EASTER! (:
i am Happy. rrly rrly happy.
cause' my Hero raised frm the dead, this day more than 2000 yrs ago
and He's living in me
uh huh uh huh i feel like Dancing.
:D

firstly, lets start of with this morning.
i overslept!
my gosh, just the night before i had a lil trouble slping.
i dunno why.
i just kept waking up now n den.
all in all abt 4 to 5 times.
i think its the fear of some rubbish ghosts stuff, all thanks to LIYUN n RACHEL.
they stayed over n left all those crap stories running through my head.
anyhow, i Overslept.
and i realised i was Superb Duper late in meeting junle.
thank God the bus they waited for took forever to come, so they ended up waiting for me.
if not i wld have to find my way there.
and probably get lost.

service was Awesome.
the drama was great, although it was alr expected
because i was Sucha big kpo, i went to find out wat it was all abt.
in the end, it wasnt as good as it was supposed to be.
no more surprise!
You died for me, and now i am free.
tt cross you carried was the same one which set me free.

it was rather messy yet funny after service today.
everyone was crazy taking pictures!
and i saw Yiwen! after so long (:
i MISS tt buddy so much lar.
i rrly want to eat Buffet with you again! haha
thats smth Compulsory, to be done.
oh right! Rach n Nanxiao came along for service today.
which reallyreally made my day.
i just felt so happy n high!
HAHA
i dunno why.
i thought they were gonna celebrate my birthday today during cell.
not tt i actually mind, but i wanted more to disturb them n make them feel guilty.
who noes, they actually wanted to give me the two cakes which nobody wants.
they gave me the unwanted stuff!
eeyer.
haha
so we were all making Lots of noise
and then someone Started smearing chocolate on my face.
that set it.
i did the same back. and den to Rach.
and soon, everyone had chocolate on their faces.
it was so funny!
i dunno why but all of a sudden i feel so in love with lots of ppl.
esp my cell ppl.
plus sandy n evan n sarah!
haha
lets go overnight cycling one day!
its rrlyrrly FUN.
i promise (:


i wish someone i'm close to stays near me.
tt way he or she can be my companion.
playing bball or just jogging alone.
its so lonely HERE at times.
my brother is too lazy to move his butt.
and being alone sucks.
i wanna shift hse!
shift to somewhere noisy n vibrant n Alive!
i bumped into one old pal today.
tt person whom i've been hoping to bump into coincidentally somehow.
and i did! today!
it was SO surprising.
my gosh, he changed so much.
and the best is, he's in my church. he wasnt a christian in the past.
i think its So cool.
so so cool. God is rrly amazing.
i hope i'll bump into him again.
and maybe chat over smth, abt the past.
i rrlyrrly miss the good old days.
he used to be such a Great pal.
oh crap.
i am getting emo again
haha
but today's rrly nice!
i wish theres no sch tmr.
it wld be so much better.




SET.
from nowonwards, FIONA is going to STUDY hard.
i am going to Stop slacking.
i am going to start REMEMBERing to bring my books.
to DO my hmewrk.
Not to SKIP classes n be a GOOD testimony.
CARE more for others.
BE there for those who NEED me.
PAY attention in class.
STOP sleeping.
and EAT less.
haha
the race starts tmr.
i intend to end it well.






you disappeared without a trace

theres a whole lot i wanna say.
ytd was great, and it was FUN, in short, it was Awesome (:
thanks so much, all of you who came n made my day.
though the party was rather crowded n everything was in a mess.

i felt the warmth of many many ytd.
to be honest, i was so freaking nervous over the whole thing.
i think i walked a million miles ytd, just fetching the ppl to my hse.
but when everything was in a mess,
all i rrly felt lyk doing was to Smile.
cause' i felt happy for some reason.
HAHA
i think nth makes sense in here.
oh well,
its my blog entry anyway.
maybe i'll have another party nxt yr, its kindof fun.
:D
its not even my birthday yet and i'm receiving pressies (:
-latest hillsongs united CD frm Jess n Claudia
i was rrly surprised, because because because i wanted it so much but i'm broke! and i'm not even close to the both of them haha
-Espirit bag frm Godma
-adidas bag frm Jue,nanxiao,jacyln,cmk,shrooms
-viser n key chain frm Sarah lee n liwen chipped in a lil
tt was superb Sweet. esp the card alright. i Love the viser! you Up my coolness by one level!
-Ripcurl wallet frm evan,junle,hansheng,jeff,sandy,rachel.t
i noe its rrly expensive, and i Love tt wallet a whole lot. its so my type
-chocolates n 50 bucks frm my aunt
-earings frm leila
-duckie bolster frm liyun
-another wallet frm joby n junling

my body's aching after ytd and theres a Huge blister on my feet
but i'm looking forwards to tmr
you noe and i noe.



the heavens are crying for the greatness of your love

my jaw hurts like crazy.
it was still aching when i woke up this mornine.
look wat you've done, you've made a fool of everyone.
you practically burst tt happy bubble tt was floating inside me.
i used to compare myself with others.
wat ppl have and i dont.
no, it isnt all the material stuff watsoever.
its smth More practical. more implaceable.

Lord, you've done so so much in me.
you've pulled me through all these times of needs n difficulties.
i used to be so tired over everything.
just everything tt goes on in my life.
and i stopped believeing in the supernatural, i kindof lost touch with you and your word.
but you always prove to be so faithful.
you always make things turn ard, the way i've never expected them to be.
i used to ask you this,
'why Lord, why me?'
why did you choose to do all these great things in my life,
when i dun even deserve a every single bit.
and your answer always never fails to melt my heart.
my heart aches whenever i think of tt cross.
and tt Thick Fat nail tt peirces right through your skin.
i asked myself,
what will i do, if i was there when you were crucified on the cross?
i had run all the way up and clung unto you.
cling onto the cross and your body.
and let those ppl continue whipping, for all i care.
you did so much for me, yet all i have to offer is nothing.
i tried so many times.
i noe you long to see my family well.
my studies, my friends.
everything perfect.
Lord, i tried.
i rrly tried.
and it rrly hurts, when you put in so much effort.
and just when everything seems to be going on smoothly, it happens again.
it hurts Super badly.
i wodner if this is smth overboard, or abuse?
its damn crap.
and i'm tired of it, Lord.
i want to stand up for myself.
but i noe i shldnt give up, because you have only wats good for me.
maybe somehow, eventually i'll see a miracle working dwn here, in this place.
i rrly need one, right now.



for all that You've done for me, i'll never stop thanking you

its a thursday
whoppie whoopie whoops!
i've decided to have a positive attitude frm now onwards.
for the frist time, i'm so Happy to be hme.
theres tuition later, which will Definitely Kill my brain cells.
but anyhow, i guess i'll still survive.

went to Rach's hse on wed.
she was studying n i was staring at her Studying.
Haha. i didnt have the mood to mug.
so i wasted my time away playing the guitar n piano.
i decided to learn the drums!
Straight after my O's (:
yea. this idea rocks.

went jogging ytd.
the air was rrly nice n it was peaceful!
shall jog somemore when i'm free. i want to lose weight!
haha

i was just thinking abt smth this morning.
cause i was in the train and it was reallyreally boring.
and besdie me was this small puny malay boy.
he cldnt balance and he kept bumping into me.
his eyes were Big n innocent.
and in short, he's so Cute!
(:
i think i reallyreally want to adopt a child in the future.
probably one whom i'll bring hme frm one of my mission trips. and i'll make him or her mine.
i will take care of them, and give them security.
ain't tt cool?!
yes, i So Think so.





because you were there for me, i will be here for you too

cause nothing lasts in this lifetime.
and somehow, i guess this wont' last either.

its just a facade

if i were a grown up,
i wld travel round the world.
i wld ride a pony n stay in one of those really peaceful farms in australia or canada.
i wld go round the earth, doing mission trips n spreading my love.
perhaps i'll end up adopting a couple of kids who i noe will really melt my heart.
i had go fishing with fool ard with them.
i wld add colours into their lives and fill their empty hearts.
if its a boy, maybe "Joash" n "jasper", it had be nice.
and if its a girl, i had wait till i find a better name out there.


i noe its so random.
but sometimes its nice daydreaming a little.
(:
see ya'





i hope you find the perfect thing

it seems lyk forever sicne i last blogged.
i dunno why!
time seems to past rather quickly nowadays and i feel lyk i'm getting older n older
Bwah.
anyhow, the days in this wk have been spent rather finely.
it was rainging cats n dogs ytd.
how sweet (:
it reminded me of the last time i actually danced in the rain.
it was with liyun n evan!
Haha
tt was Super, Duper Cool
it was raining Damn heavily n we practically danced in the rain at the basketball court.
my shirt was lyk a sponged lar.
n i stank a while lot after tt.
haha
perspiration plus rainwater, wat do you expect?

i've been studying a lil more den i usually do.
i decided to be a Good girl :D
everyone's gonna see the change in me!
and i am determined to lose weight!
we made a deal tt if i were to reach my target, i'll wear a skirt n parade ard.
Haha!
Rach's so gonna die.
she promised to walk to my hse in a bikini if she slim dwn.

hey mamamiya, here we go again
depressed, depressed, depressed!
it seems lyk this word Never disappears. Never
why isit tt ppl get sad all the time?
one by one, its lyk one after another.
of course i get sad too.
and tt feeling i noe, it isnt nice.
it makes me want to rrly reach out n just be there.
just saying or doing nth, but be there to meet their needs.
but it isnt as easy as it seems.
because i've tried a whole lot, and usually i dun rrly succeed.
if i had one wish, i wld wish for happiness in everybody's heart.
uh huh.
i believe life can be perfect, without flaws.



what is love?

i think you look so fine, and you've been constantly in my mind

its a Monday!
and i'm feeling Good :D
surprise, surprise.
praise God tt i pass my physics quiz.
i rrly wanna work hard on it.

prayer meeting was rather good today i guess.
though theres only a few of us.
but i teared today while sharing abt wat God spoke to me.
it was tt period of time when i was feeling so very dry.
i felt so tired, and even thought of backsliding.
and when i came before God, i was so guilty.
yet what he said melted my heart.
He didnt rebuke me as i expected.
instead, Jesus embraced me, telling me how proud He was of me.
how proud He was to see me being faithful in the little things.
i reallyreally think tt my God's an awesome God.
i Love Him lots n lots to pieces.
:D
He's my saviour, my closest friend!
soemone once asked me why i kept smiling in times of trouble,
i told Him its because of the one who's inside of me.
and thats You




i Will crown you King

i am happy! (:
firstly because award n dedication service is over.
this means tt i'll be able to go for cell on sats frm now onwards.
ain't tt great?
well, it is!
secondly, well well HAHA i dun rrly noe why i'm so happy.
anyhow, life IS great.
it has been great n i noe it'll continue to be great.

i joined the bio class ytd.
why? cause they were watching a video on giving birth.
i was curious alright.
but BOY, it was Gross.
so sick larh pls! i regret watching it.
and i dun think i want to give birth anymore!
i was screaming in pain for tt poor lady.
i bet it hurts lyk crazy.
and tt baby was rather big, i mean, a livinig thing coming out frm ur body!?
frm tt small hole!?
OUCH.
i think i'll go for adoption in the future.
because i Love kids :D

i was listening to this song ytd.
Althea introduced n taught it to me.
its Superb Nice.
its a worship song called "Hosanna"
and i fell in love in it.
(:
i played the guitar for morning singspiration ytd.
haha
it legs n hands were lyk jelly.
but it was great.
really.
and i just want to thank God for giving me the chance to serve Him this way.
and i wanna thank God for guiding me through.
as well, as the so many ppl who believed in me n encouraged me.
arh! i feel lyk i'm saying a whole thankyou speech haha!
anyhow, i'm saying the sermon outline on this comine tues assembly!
(:
thankyou Jesus




i believe in the Risen one.




lets go cloud-gazing some day

hey world.
theres is Really SoSo Much tt i want to do.
believe me, its rrly hard trying to balance your time.
i just spoke to my physics teacher ytd.
boy oh boy.
tt look on her face just made me feel so guilty.
plus watever happened today.
i feel lyk i've been letting so many ppl ard me down.
i feel lyk i've been a failure in almst everything, in nothing.
and i feel lyk i'm such a bad testimony for christ.
really.
i'm not degrading myself.
but i feel lyk the dirtiest scumb on earth.
shoots.
cheryl was lyk, "come on, dun say tt"
i guess she was shocked. because i was always the one who took things lightly.
and i was always the one who seem carefree.
i guess, somethings really Do change.
but dun wrry, i'm still alright n kicking.
i'm not beaten down yet. (:
yea.
if others can, why cant i?

things tt i wanna do:
-change my blogskin
-load n develope pics
-remake my room!
-revise my sciences
-basketball (:
-train 2.4km!

uh huh.
so here we go again.
today's tuesday.
it has been great (:
and my party's drawing nearer n nearer!
HAHA
the date is comfirm (:
14h april'06
its on good friday.
in my hoyuse of course, and it WILL be great.
cause lots of ppl agreed to help me out :D
i am getting a whole Big plate of my fav stuff, cooked by Rach's grandma haha
n sarah's cheese cake!
i cant wait, and i hope it will be great.
(: yea


excuse me, but do you mind if you step out of my way?



i still keep you in my mind

RAINBOW-coloured BRACES are so COOl n FUNKY n NICE
:D

i've become alot darker!
tts wat many told me when the new term started.
all thanks to swimming with Joby n Junling.
it wasnt a bad thing though i kept complaining at first.
i ended up having lots of fun (:

meanwhile,
i am planning my first birthday party ever!
haha sounds dumb i noe.
but still, Sweet Sixteen alright. (:
lets do smth diff this time.
i didnt noe planning is tt tough.
theres soso many ppl i wanna invite!
but we've got to think if my friends can click well with each other.
plus, i cant find a suitable date.
oh Manz. i hope all goes well!
lumdeeedums! (:

you've got me thinking again n again n again n again.


as usual, i feel lyk doing smth on an impulse again.
guess wat it is this time?
going to the beach to have fun with my best buds, and we'll bring my Camera along, and we'll all go click click, tkaing pics non stop.
yups. tts wat i feel lyk doing now.

my dreams are coming back.
HAHA
i mean, those tt you actually dream abt when you're sleeping?
they stopped coming for awhile, which rrly makes my sleep boring at times.
ohh how i wish i can dream of smth rrly Nice tonight.
smth lyk YOU.
:D





fi i ksa, wlil oyu cmeo?
ro tno? i erally dnto wshi ot fnaastszie aynmroe


this shld have ended long time ago

hey world.
i've been told tt some ppl reads my blog.
its not exactly a bad thing though.
but its just a warning to you, my entries may be depressing at times.
i cant garuentee much. but since you've found encouragement frm here so far, it wldnt mind abit if you continue visiting.
yups.

i'm not exactly in a mood to smile.
its not lyk today hasnt been a great day.
No, it has been.
you have no idea how much i miss service.
just how much.
i missed it terribly.
i almst forgot the feeling of worshipping in tt auditorium.
i realised, tt if you were to separate me frm church, i dont think i will survive.
and i miss the ppl there too, of course.
i hugged liwen lyk some retard today!
i almst wished i cld bring her hme with me (:
and yesyes i miss sandy too (:
i'm glad to noe tt tt woman misses me too
HAHA
anyhow. there was prayer meeting ytd, with so much other stuff going on.
i dun noe where to start.
life has been taxing.
and i've rrly tried to juggle things the way i can.
but things dont always turn out the way you want them to.
My mum called leila today. again.
i was wondering, wat if i never find out all these stuff happening.
will i ever noe tt she calls?
i feel lyk i've missed out so much.
So So Much.
i feel lyk i've fallen short of so many things.
things tt has got to do with my own spiritual walk.
i've been missing cell, the fellowshipping, tt celebration
N293's birthday, blahh and so much more.
plus the duties tt i used to have, the things tt i used to do.
it just seems lyk i cant be trusted on anymore.
or maybe i've become less approachable.
i think i am blubbering rubbish again.

i realised.
you cant do Everything right at the same time.
one moment you are accomplishing smth,
and before you noe it.
you've screwd the rest.
AIYA maybe this is just the pessimistic way of thinking.
i sortof broke dwn in the toilet a couple of hrs ago.
but i'm all right n clean now.
yea.

it Feels good to have ppl praising your faith.
praising the way you've pulled through your times of struggle.
its nice to noe tt wat you've gone through has encouraged others.
but the thing is,
i have yet to fight my fight of faith.
as you seee,
theres still so many things coming my way.
and i HATE it.
but in case you're wondering, i'm not giving up.
hah
hey Mr Satan, for your info, i Love kickboxing.




i have lots n lots n lots to tell you.
oh Man.
if we can find the time to just sit and chat.
i'll tell you EVERYTHING.





follow HIM

time certainly does fly fast.
so fast tt i didnt even realised its Friday!
URGH.
so i guess the hols have come n gone.
i practically spent everyday out of the hse, rotting my butt off with anything but studies.
):
i think my mother's banned on grounding me.
its either sooner or later.
but theres just so much fun going on!
in fact, too much.
theres gnna be two birthday celebration going on tmr night.
pluc my GB slp over thing.
tell me which one shld i go?
i have no idea.
i've come to realise the value of FUN.


met up with Joby n Junling today.
i wasnt supposed to be happy.
actually, i was determined to stop myself frm smiling.
becausee they were going to Tan n Swim!?
my gosh leh.
that Is So not my type.
and they were actually going to Force me to do it.
aiya. but anyway, i just played in the water with them.
i gave in the end. HAHA
and boy, it was damn fun (:
spent so much time just simply laughing away n taking pics!
we got so burnt, just by playing in the water alone.
my skin hurts.
but the warm tingling feeling makes me feel So comfortable.
Haha.

we rot in Junling's condo's basement later.
i was reading those magazines n stuff.
when smth just popped in my mind.
and it just wldnt go away.
it just chose to stay.
and its still here, if you're wondering.
this sucks.




before i eat you alive

went to learn the guitar ytd (:
i picked up quite abit!
for some reasons i dunno why, there were more ppl than expected.
i guess i was thinking too much.
HAHA but anyhow, theres Nothing going on, if you're wondering, that is.
my fingers are hurting after all tt playing.
we wasted our time away, talking n doodling on papers before bs started.
but ytd was a Nice.
it feels lyk we've catched up quite abit after so long.
we got to noe each other Soso much more.
tt woman's right. we shld sit and talk lyk this more often.
but i skipped CCA for it HAHA
ssssshh
i need a break larh
i'm so sick n tired of having to face it so oftenly.
but it won't happen again, i promise!
dude.
it was so fun in the arcade!
HAHA
not tt we've never been there.
but it was Cool alright.
tt gun game lar, its hers n my all time favourite.
if i am rich.
i will spend lots of time just mastering tt game, PLUS, get all the christian CDs in this world.
:D
there you go,
another reason why i Must win speeling Bee.

now tt i've realise how tricky life can be.
i dun feel lyk punching anyone anymore.
Hah.
serious.
"its not a sin to be tempted. but its a sin to fall into temptation"
tts wat tt woman told me too.
i guess i cant blame anyone cause' i myself am no better.
(:
noe wat?
i've been really tired lately.
tired of encouraging the ppl ard me.
tired of doing so many things, follow up, reach out.
but i've come to realise tt tts wat i'm called to do for now.
if i've told God so many times tt i lay my life dwn for Him, why isit tt i'm not willing to do simple things lyk this?
if everyone's tired, den who can God use?
i've thought it through.
(:
i'm not tired.
it was merely a short break, and now i'm coming back.
hey you all, Watch Out.


i wasnt in an exactly great mood this morning.
my mum was So naggy!
my bro isnt at hme!
he's off for camp.
no one's hme to play some sports with me.
i want to play tennis.
i want to play PS2
but theres no one living in my hse to do tt with me
and den theres this person who appeared, msging me
with some unhealthy language.
tt was lyk the final straw.
it Urks me sometimes.
i've tried n tried to put up with tt language.
i noe tts the way you are, i cant change it.
but, its lyk a pollutant at times.
i dunno if i'm going tmr or not.
i'm afraid i lack the tolerance n burst tmr.
i want to go overnight cycling and tennis.
huh huh huh some body give me some time.
i think i'm behaving just lyk a kid.
okay.
i shant complain anymore.

A maths tuition later!
reminder: i'm a sec FOUR kid. time to study Big Time.

its a liek ly possiblility tt i'll throw a Humongous party after the O's.
all must come!
HAH.
just kidding.
i dun have the cash.
but den again, i'll consider having one (:




a million red MnMs
you coloured them one by one, with the blood on Your hands

my greatest love is You

every new day, Your glory unfolds
filling my eyes, with Your treasures untold
the beauty of holiness, brings worship anew
my greatest love is you

call me deeper, into Your grace
the river that flows, from the Holy place
wash over me, cleansing me through
my greatest love is You


firstly, i had like to say,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to RACHEL HO ((:
happy sweet sixteen to you!
ytd was fun
haha i enjoyed playing tennis n bball with you n tt company of urs
though i was picking the balls most of the time.
the ppl frm ur church rrly make me smile
HAHA
its nicer having such company, maybe we'll go east coast some day again yea?
and woman! you've been sucha great encourager to me
esp in sch, when i burden out all my worries,
you never fail to lighten them
i thank God for such an Amazing person lyk you :D

after all the playing ytd n today, plus the camp
my muscles are aching.
almst everywhere.
my thighs, my arms, my back, and even my butt lar pls
Haha.
but i feel good
lumdeedums
i won't say why
:D

but then again, its a fantasy
since ppl dream all the time,
just allow me to dream on this time.
just this once


he came to sentosa today.
it was rather weird though.
gosh leh. one part of me just cldnt stop worrying lyk crap.
but the other part of me was able to relax
i hope he doesnt feel left out, cause' i practically threw him aside when we were there.
i tried alright.
but its not as easy as it seems

i saw a komodo dragon today!
wooh!
HAHA
i noe its not tt exciting.
but you Have to be there.
Trust me, you Have to be there to noe what i'm taling abt!
aiyo, it was so big.
i got a shock of my life.
i have the urge to cycle at east coast! (:
overnight!
but i cant seem to find the time.
it just seems to scarce recently.

the moon was Awesome today.
it was a beauty.
frm now onwards, fiona will observe the sky everyday.
Hah, it has become my latetest addiction.

maybe if i try hard enough, i wld slide back again.
to how strong i used to be.
how i used to dream dreams and see visions.

Your nail-pierced hands, that i'll never forget

camp's over!
sec two training camp is over! (: its time i sleep ard in the hse!
lots of things happened the past few days.
some happy, some sad.
but i saw God working mightily in little ways.
like when gf sort of broke dwn. we decided to pray, and God's presence was rrly strong, so strong tt i started crying myself.
it makes my heart stings.
i miss the times i was so in love with God.
when everything wld just go on so smoothly and fine.
and everything just seemed possible.
now tt camp has ended. i realise i missed so much when i'm back.
its tt feeling of trying to catch up with watever tts running on and on and on.
i rrly hope to see those amazing days again.

there was midnight drill on the second night.
HAHA it was so funny when i think abt it.
i slept at 1 am okay! and before i cld slp for long, everyone was banging on the doors, shouting for us to wake up.
i thought there was a fire please.
i was half dead.
there scolded n Scolded blahh and they made us do drill in the dark.
haha but wats funny is tt the nxt morning.
some sec twos actually said to each other "i dreamnt i was doing drill last night" HAHA so funny! i cldnt stop laughing alright.
i thank God tt at least we Were in the camp committe.
at least we dont have to do wat the juniors are going through.
we fooled them so many times tt they had to do drills. and were allowed only A minute to change into full U.
they Actually believed us.
its Super hilarious, their expressions n actions.
:D i cant stop laughing.
haiyar, i shant be so mean anymore.

we watched movie on the second night.
"what a girl wants"
i noe, it was wayy long ago.
but it was nice.
its tt fairy tale every girl will one.
and since i'm a female, well.. you shld noe.
tt guy was cute hahaha
but tts not the pt. the pt is tt, it was so romantic.
and we started chatting abt some crap.
well, it will be Nice if my lover is a great singer, singing with with the microphone, his guitar n his band.
and his eyes will be So nicee. that deep and beautiful kind which only i will be lost in.
and he is cute. Hah you noe tt prett boy look, plus muscles.
of course tts only silly talk.
it only works in movies.
wat matters most is the heart.
(:

theres lots tt i wanna accomplish
i promised soem ppl that i'll hang out with them when the hols start.
i rrly hope tt i wld be able to keep my words.
some ppl just go pass when you hang on too losely.
it used to trouble me when i'm buddies with guys.
i mean, it felt weird being close to another guy.
or just having him as a close friend.
but after all tt has happened. i guess smth has changed.
it just makes me smile when i picture the times that i'll be hanging out with you soon.
i'll be the tomboy and you'll be the gay.
(:





cause' all that matters, i will not say

my muscles are aching!
but i feel fit HAHA well, at least the pain keeps me awake throughout the day.
its been tiring lately. Real tiring.
i think i have to considering sacrificing some stuff frm now onwards.
as usual, i'm NOT supposed to be here.
was online for grp work, so i decided to stop here for awhile. Hah.

my weekly timetable: (all after sch)
Mon-PL prayer meeting, physics tuition
Tues-off! (:
Wed-mt compo class, bible study
Thurs-leaders drill, A maths tuition
Fri-CCA

shoots. and Now, they are packing my saturdays with CCA too.
forcing me to miss out so much of my cell.
i hate this.
but this is life yea?

i almost broke dwn today, in sch.
nope. it has nothing to do with my tiring sch life watsoever.
its smth else.
during mass prayer cell after sch.
i felt so lost, irritated and Angry at the same time.
i dun wish to pt fingers in here.
but its really getting on my nerves.
i mean, you all claim lyk "reach out! yea!"
and then simple commitment lyk today, you cant even keep.
i noe it isnt abt forcing. but hey, if we cant even be faithful in little things, how do we expect the unsaved to be touched?
i noe its tiring.
and almst everyone thinks tt simple meetings lyk this arent impt.
tts why they dun turn up.
but we have to make the first step wat.
if everyone just thought the same way. of course we wont get anywhere.
you think its useless, i noe you've been feeling dry.
but wont you just try.
i'm sick and tired of always having to push and encourage others.
its not lyk i was never tired.
i was.
i felt lyk giving up too.
but i learnt. maybe you shld try learning to stand up on your own.
and quit running away.
aiya.
i'm not angry but i just feel lyk spilling all these out.
if we cant even help ourselves, who Will help the unsaved?
wat for talk so much abt reaching out when we cant even do it right ourselves.
crap larh
i'm sorry for my bad attitude.
but i dun feel good.
try being in my sheos and you will noe.
you'll noe how it feels to be encouraging others, how it feels to press on.
i'm going through wat you Are going through.
just learn and press on alright, i'm trying too.



alkdodaspjrp3jpsofjvegb

everything's perfect n amazing, its something you'll never find on earth.

i'm back(: still alive n kicking
there was sports hits today.
Rach was power alright! she ran real fast.
i'm so proud of you, and i'm sure God is too.
though you didnt come in first today, you still own smth, Plus, you won for 800m please.
power! (:

my hol's pack!
uh huh uh huh, i dunno why but i feel so high now.
theres so much i reallyreally want to say
but. too lazy to type in here.


anyhow, We are Going to The Beach!
hows tt?
not just once, but twice during the hols.
YAY!
i like.
and i'm loving it.
those carefree times are the ones i treasure best.


i was racking through the folders i have in my C drive and i found some pics.










class chalet '05! (:













its perspiration plus Rain water










mamalicious










its tt kindof face we give to You









i was tt happy (:









i noe, we look stupid









and we made it through









smth which changed a part of me









cause' its just like this









beautiful!









just like heaven









she's so pretty












moron












i was that light









the same (:





there, probably some pics tt i'll never show somewhere else.
(:
they mean hell lot to me

how does it feel if you're talking to someone whom you really feel lyk punching in the face.
and you are Close up with him/her too?
not nice.
my violent intentions have yet to fade.
well, tts because i Always dun get to carry them out.
i dun noe to laugh or to cry.
this is so Dumb.

my heart feels heavy.
as usual, whenever i'm troubled with ppl's problems, plus my own.
i noe a little too much.
which rrly isnt tt good as it seems.
one of my motto this year is to meet the needs of others, and be there for them.
and hopefully, not allowing my own burdens be smth heavy for them.
nevertheless, things have been going frm glory to glory for me.
yes. i can feel it.
(:
day by day, as each day passes.
i feel God's presence becoming more and more real in my life.
i have to admit that i havent rrly been pressing into my own Qt and stuff.
but i went on, trying to share the burdens of my friends.
and God rewards every little faithful thing.
He is so real in my life.
this is just great.
guess wat she said!?
GUESS!!??
she said i'm gonna play the guitar for morning singspiration during assembly, friday, fortnightly.
(: i almst jumped for joy.
thoguh i fear, i noe it'll be good.
all things start off small.
and i rrly want to thank my saviour for Everyything.

i've been doing push-ups lately.
oh yea. i have some goals regarding health which i shant say in here.
HAHA
who wants to train 2.4km with me!?
you noe wat, i found tt soccer is so fun.
we were playing soccer with a bball the other time.
still, it was Super hilarious n amusing.
i rmb playing it with my cell mates, I was the one dodging the ball.
but in sch, its Others dodging the ball and Me kicking it damn hard.
arh, so Cool.
but it'll be better if theres a few more babaric n rough girls to join in with me. :D

holidays' coming!
one week is so precious. you can never imagine how precious it is to me.
almst everyday's packed alr.
with the camp, sq outing, cell outing, cca, out with friends
i Have to squeeze in space for my studies.
which by right, shld take the top pirioty.

i realise theres so many ppl in my life whom i've had So Much fun with.
some of whom, i'm reallyreally greatful for.
thankful that they appeared in my life.
theres a few who wld just brighten up my day for nuts.
and they make me smile lyk a retard frm the mental hospital.
i shant mention names in here.
it'll be all too weird when we meet again.
what to say, it had be Real nice if we were to go again and play lyk never before.
and perhaps, no other wrong thoughts n intentions.
we'll stay neutral, yet have fun at the same time.
we'll tease and laugh under the sun, without acknowleding the feeling that has begun.


i want to know you
IN THE SECRET IN THE QUIET PLACE IN THE STILLNESS YOU ARE THERE IN THE SECRET IN THE QUIET HOUR I WAIT ONLY FOR YOU CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE I WANT TO KNOW YOU I WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE I WANT TO TOUCH YOU I WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE I AM REACHING FOR THE HIGHEST GOAL THAT I MIGHT RECEIVE THE PRIZE PRESSING ONWARD PUSHING EVERY HINDRANCE ASIDE OUT OF MY WAY CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE





the clouds are reallyreally nice nowadays.
they look lyk marshmallows to me!
but besides that, they are just so comforting to look at.
somehow, the remind me of God's kindness.
go look at it if you have a chance nxt time.
you wont regret, trust me.




i said,"yes,yes" a million times, and i watched how you made my life become so fine