my jaw hurts like crazy.
it was still aching when i woke up this mornine.
look wat you've done, you've made a fool of everyone.
you practically burst tt happy bubble tt was floating inside me.
i used to compare myself with others.
wat ppl have and i dont.
no, it isnt all the material stuff watsoever.
its smth More practical. more implaceable.

Lord, you've done so so much in me.
you've pulled me through all these times of needs n difficulties.
i used to be so tired over everything.
just everything tt goes on in my life.
and i stopped believeing in the supernatural, i kindof lost touch with you and your word.
but you always prove to be so faithful.
you always make things turn ard, the way i've never expected them to be.
i used to ask you this,
'why Lord, why me?'
why did you choose to do all these great things in my life,
when i dun even deserve a every single bit.
and your answer always never fails to melt my heart.
my heart aches whenever i think of tt cross.
and tt Thick Fat nail tt peirces right through your skin.
i asked myself,
what will i do, if i was there when you were crucified on the cross?
i had run all the way up and clung unto you.
cling onto the cross and your body.
and let those ppl continue whipping, for all i care.
you did so much for me, yet all i have to offer is nothing.
i tried so many times.
i noe you long to see my family well.
my studies, my friends.
everything perfect.
Lord, i tried.
i rrly tried.
and it rrly hurts, when you put in so much effort.
and just when everything seems to be going on smoothly, it happens again.
it hurts Super badly.
i wodner if this is smth overboard, or abuse?
its damn crap.
and i'm tired of it, Lord.
i want to stand up for myself.
but i noe i shldnt give up, because you have only wats good for me.
maybe somehow, eventually i'll see a miracle working dwn here, in this place.
i rrly need one, right now.



for all that You've done for me, i'll never stop thanking you