28th May'06

i'm paranoid about the people i meet
why are they talking to me and why cant anyone see,
i just wanna live

i shant talk much about today.
smth tells me tt it aint very pleasant.
i just want to say tt i'm not angry.
nor do i blame anyone. i'm sure she feels the same way.
i understand the situation.
i really really do.
but i guess, no one rrly believes me.
i dunno wat was it tt i was feeling.
watever it was.
i just thank God for people.
yes ppl ard me.
i realised tt everyone Counts.
every single person. whether you feel lyk they're your good buddy or not.
they can be rrly sweet when you're dwn.
and tt makes me feel so loved.
i admit tt there were a few times when i tried to hold back my tears.
no. it isnt abt tt event or watsoever.
i just dunno wat it is.
so dun blame anybody for it.
thank you so much for trying to cheer me up.
sandy wong. evan pay. liwen. elana. jolene. fiona. liyun.
though You guys said tt my smile was so fake.
i'm okay
i really am.



i was thinking Alot just now.
what if i were to back up.
and give it all up.
maybe try a whole new world?
thank God i'm a woman of No guts.
if not.
you never noe where i will be now.

i promised God i will be strong.
i promised Him that i'll still be there standing.
even if the world around me crumbles and fall.
what more can i say?


its chinese O's tmr.
oh wow.
and i'm here online.
i cant seem to study.
i Cannot get anything into my brain.
this is so disturbing.
my mind's partially clogged up.
i just want to forget, forget, forget abt everything.
maybe brainwashing for a day wld be good.
i hope tmr will be fine.
yes.
its gonna be a brand new day.
clean. and i'll make sure i'll make tt whole day Perfect.
i cant wait for tmr.





its the laughter among the tears that matters the most