8th July'06

what can i say.
i cant say that i'm all fully well and happy.
and i wanna party.
but, as i said.
my God has always been This Awesome n Great.
theres somethings that indeed, they let me down.
but a small portion never changes.
and i'm glad it Never Changes.
i cant say that i'm all so strong.
and i feel No grief.
cause' i wld be lying.
and lying means i wont make it to heaven.
but i can say that i'm not tt easily defeated.
because i'm not stupid.

just when things get better,
all the rest of the world will come crashing down.
today's a great example.
kaboom!
great experience during cell today.
and the nxt moment with a lil blink,
i hear things.
things of ppl not being able to make it for service.
not one but a few.
and den theres troubles at home.
failure in studies.
parents nagging, not understanding.
all the crap frm this world.
which makes me qns,
shld i tell my parents abt my results or not.
the later they find out it'll be less bad i supposed.
i'm not ready for wat is to come yet.
just looking at the ppl ard me foreshadows the many obstacles i too, will face.

we said we wld fight this tgt.
and so i am trying.
just last night, i felt the love and care of Many.
thank you so much.
even before Soon Li took tt step,
i alr experienced much.
i've received.
and i'm ready to give too.

it rrly makes my heart melt when someone says 'thankyou'
after what you did.
but tts wat friends are for.
i feel a slice going through my heart
when i see ppl distress.
so many, you name it, you have it.
elana, jolene, sandy, evan, Me, hansheng, rachel, shrooms, liyun, sarah..
and so, the list goes on.
these are what i noe of.
and i'm sure theres More.

i think i'm oh so very emo
and i got lots running through my head.
oh well, glad tt i'm a female.


i've thought of running to your side.
and encamp there when insecurity strikes.
but then again, we belong to a diff world.
not so different.
but far enough to noe its distant.

i'll just thank God cause' its better than nothing.
and nothing means Grief.
as long as it means smth.
its worth dreaming for.



you're the Miracle in me