15th July'06

i thank God for everything (:
His love, indeed endures forever.
i really Love James 1:2!

"my brothers, consider it pure joy when you face trails of different kinds" -James 1:2

on fri, we had our prayer meeting.
and it was easy to tell that almst everyone's spirit was low.
lately, it has Always been lyk that.
i rmb at the beginning of this year.
how i made a pact with God,
never to backslide or fall short frm His presence.
i Will never place studies or anything else before Him. and i Will never doubt Him.
but oh wow, even the best fall down sometimes.

prayer meeting was great. (:
you noe..
they always say tt your prayer life is always the most impt.
its the factor tt is the most essential.
and thats the factor tt i've always had trouble with.
to tell the truth, i've really been falling away frm God.
even fasting 3 days in a row seems easier den a simple prayer.
i mean, i do pray. its just tt i dun really sit dwn n concentrate on my God the way i used to everyday.

we've always talked abt reaching out.
but i realised.
before you can even reach out.
you have to first strengthen what you have.
that is, the cell.
and before you can even do that,
you have to first strengthen Yourself.
i figured. it all points back to you, your own situation n status.
before you can do anything greater.

i prayed with sarah today.
and she rrly understands what i'm going through.
cause the thing is, we're in the same boat.
after tt little sharing among ourselves today, i realised i'm not the only one!
i didnt noe i was the only one who was aware abt her own spiritual walk too.
and We Are indeed in the same situation.
struggles with prayer, the bible.
even though you Noe and you Do love God alot.
yet it seems so ironic.
and it always seem lyk you're the only person struggling alone.
cause nobody noes. not that no one cares.
but you've always been the one encouraging others. and always the stronger one.
life indeed is tough at times.
but Everything happens for a Reason.
if i didnt have PO last year.
i wldnt have been able to overcome it.
and i wldnt have the chance to Grow.
i wld still be walking in my own sinful path doing other stuff.

HENCE, praise God for obstacles that come our way.
everything is beauutiful.


God kindof spoke to me today.
cause i was being aloof on purpose to Him.
i didnt really want to let go and let God anymore today.
and i didnt want to tell Him how i was feeling.
cause it always seem the same.
its lyk being trapped in a viscous cycle of never ending turns.
but den He asked me, "my child, are you really that strong? or are you actually crumbling on the inside. why do you hide frm me. i want to fulfill my promise. if only you had open up the door of your heart again."
and woah.
needless for me to say, we all noe how powerful n amazing the Holy spirit is.
He told me,

believe is a decision made by only You and yourself.
its a choice made by you. to decide to trust smth or not.
and so is being immune to the holy spirit.
if you say you'll never be able to rekindle ur fire again.
you'll never do so.
its a decision.
God's arms are open to everyone.
it just whether we are willing or not.

even if the world crumbles,
i'll still be standing.

that i noe for sure.
(:
"by the grace of God, we will carry on."

"this is the day that the Lord has made; i will rejoice and be glad in it" Ps 118:24
i'm glad its been converted to memory (:




your love made me see beyond everything