1st June'06

i can only imagine. but that alone Is Enough.

i am fine (:
yes
heard before of sunshine after rain?
maybe i wasnt wrong int eh very beginning.
but anyhow, i feel Great.
i wont tell you how,
but Jesus did smth miraculous in Me.

so i say it again that Rainbowed-Coloured braces are so Cool!
i Want! but i cant.
):




makes me want to sing for eternity

30th May'06

she said, she's had enough.

i'm supposed to blog on happy things.
but then smth happened.
and it made me sad.
Real sad.
i wished i was more angry than sad.
i feel like crying.
No one Seems to Care anymore.
or rather, they say that they care.
but they cant be there.
its the same.
its almst the same.
because i feel like i'm doing everything.
me and her.
i really dont know what to say when she feels down too.
just just now, she was complaining to me.
she was telling me how upset she was.
i didnt noe how to reply.
i wanted to cheer her up real badly.
but i just cldnt get the words out of my mouth.
because i was feeling the same way as her.
it seems like we're the only living human being on earth who's existing.
before hearts are hardened and tears are shed.
i hope to see smth changing.
i dont think we both can hold on much longer.
because i've seen her cried.
and i've seen myself cried.
i know we're both trying hard not to break.
its easy to tell.
before anything Else goes wrong.
please please please, make things change for the better.
please.

all these while, all i ever wanted to do was to love you more.
i just didnt know how.



nopes. i am not talking abt anybody in particular.
i'm talking abt my saviour (:

29th May'06

there goes mt O's!
i just want to say, thank you for guiding me through (:
paper one was rather tough.
i was half asleep throughout the whole process.
doing tt paper was Torturing.
but anyhow, i made it out alive.
paper 2 was manageable.
at least it was do-able.
i am alive! and i am rejoicing.
one down.
a few more to go!

received So many msgs ytd n this morning.
telling me all the best.
((:
THANKYOU!
let me tell you how it goes,
each time i receive a msg, i read and i smile!
it creates a warm fuzzy feeling noeing tt ppl Care.
i know you do. and i care too

went to dunk balls over at rach's place.
i injured my thumb!
shoots. it hurts lyk crazy.
and it isnt the first time i've tortured myself.
i decided.
i am so going to train and exercise More.
i wan smth to do with sports! (:

i just realised tt Gb sec 4 farewell is on the 11th.
tell me wat i shld do.
and wat i shld chose?


right up, the hols ARE here.
can you believe it!?
no. i can't.
just this morning i was pinching myself.
time seems to fly So So Fast.
i cldnt believe tt i was sitting for chinese O's alr.
my precious one mth.
i've learn to spend time wisely.
things tt i wanna do:
-Study HARD
-bball (:
-cycling at east coast
-beach
-wildwildwet
-shopping
-out with joby n junling, definitely
i guess tts abt it for now.
my stomach's hurting lyk crazy.
i think smth is wrong.
it has been lyk this for Days.



it has got to be smth lyk that. pretty. Nice. Sweet. in a way that only i noe.
thank you very much


we can't go back, it won't be the same

28th May'06

i'm paranoid about the people i meet
why are they talking to me and why cant anyone see,
i just wanna live

i shant talk much about today.
smth tells me tt it aint very pleasant.
i just want to say tt i'm not angry.
nor do i blame anyone. i'm sure she feels the same way.
i understand the situation.
i really really do.
but i guess, no one rrly believes me.
i dunno wat was it tt i was feeling.
watever it was.
i just thank God for people.
yes ppl ard me.
i realised tt everyone Counts.
every single person. whether you feel lyk they're your good buddy or not.
they can be rrly sweet when you're dwn.
and tt makes me feel so loved.
i admit tt there were a few times when i tried to hold back my tears.
no. it isnt abt tt event or watsoever.
i just dunno wat it is.
so dun blame anybody for it.
thank you so much for trying to cheer me up.
sandy wong. evan pay. liwen. elana. jolene. fiona. liyun.
though You guys said tt my smile was so fake.
i'm okay
i really am.



i was thinking Alot just now.
what if i were to back up.
and give it all up.
maybe try a whole new world?
thank God i'm a woman of No guts.
if not.
you never noe where i will be now.

i promised God i will be strong.
i promised Him that i'll still be there standing.
even if the world around me crumbles and fall.
what more can i say?


its chinese O's tmr.
oh wow.
and i'm here online.
i cant seem to study.
i Cannot get anything into my brain.
this is so disturbing.
my mind's partially clogged up.
i just want to forget, forget, forget abt everything.
maybe brainwashing for a day wld be good.
i hope tmr will be fine.
yes.
its gonna be a brand new day.
clean. and i'll make sure i'll make tt whole day Perfect.
i cant wait for tmr.





its the laughter among the tears that matters the most

27th May'06

sometimes i feel so restricted.
my steps are controlled.
i feel lyk giving up and backing out.
i have my own issues too.
its not lyk i dun have.
i really dun wish to be like that.
but it just seems lyk no one cares abt anything.
so why den shld we care?

24th May'06

praise God, Praise God, praise Gog, Praise God!
His praise shall continaully be in my mouth.
No, i wont let the things tt happened affect me.
No, i'll let them be.

bball was so fun today!
but i realised i wasnt as rough as before!
its a good thing? i dunno. haha
cause' if i'm rougher, i wld actually play better.
but being rough actually means risk injuring ppl.
and its not lyk you dunno me.
i've injured quite a number of ppl.
AIYA.
anyhow.
i am sososo DTERMINED to brush up my bball skills!
i wanna join bball in JC.
thats a High dream i noe. but hey, who noes?
all the talk on JC just got me rather depressed n worried.
i realsied.
i dun even noe where i'm heading.
i wanna go VJC. but just look at the pts man.
just look at them.
theres a huge gap between mine and the expected pts.
bball! kick-boxing (: and drums!
i wanna learn them.
was playing bball today when my body starting shivering.
and those goosbumps just kept popping out.
they wldnt stop.
i thought smth was wrong with me. haha
oh well, i'm Alive.
how bad cld it get?

praise God for mock examination paper one results.
i thought it wld be bad.
nth will Be Bad with my God. that, i believe.

to tell the truth.
i rrly rrly feel lyk complaining.
maybe its the result of keeping some things here n there inside my heart.
and now i feel lyk exploding.
i'm not blaming God for wat has happened.
i just think tt life is can be so screwd at times.
and look at the way ppl fall.
just look at how foolish they can get will you?
or just how dumb n foolish they can get.
or rather, insensitive.
aiya.
either way, its the same.
screwd.
i'm rather tired of having to be the one calling n asking.
to be Bugging at ppl non-stop.
i feel lyk i'm such a Big Fool.
when no one cares, why shld i care?
tell me why.
wats the pt of falling n den picking urself up, regretting wat you did.
why dun we jus make a strong decision to stay firm n not fall at all.
it will be so much better.






i just want to love you more.
teach me how

22nd May'06

sometimes it just seems so hard not to care.
call me busybody or wat.
but i left the matter alone.
and since it has come after me, i dun feel tt its right not to care.
nobody wishes to be a Busybody.
Nobody.
not even me.
but i Hate not helping esp when you feel tt you shld.


what a beautiful smile

20th May'06

hey world.
i found my phone.
its such an Amazing thing.
take it lyk you finally reached hme after spending a night filled with fun out.
and when you open ur wardrobe, the first thing you see is ur long lost phone.
wat a Nice way to end the day off.
splendid.
praise God for His faithfulness.
i realised tt my God is SO so much more faithful than me!
i've got alot to learn.

everything seems to be so much more smooth sailing nw tt the exams are over.
i almst jumped for joy

spent the night over at Sandy's hse.
tt woman is so lousy lar!
one blink of an eye and Proof! she's snoring.
haha
so i just sat there with liyun watching some ghost show.
how dumb.
we were practically scaring ourselves.
or maybe its just me.
aiya either way.
i think everyone was So tired.
cause they went off to sleep!
but it wasn't even 3 am yet.
i had to use the toilet real badly.
call me lousy or wat. but i just didnt have the guts to go there alone.
and so i did the stupid thing.
controlled my bladder till morning.
haha
i practically Ran for the toilet.

prayer meeting blew me off today!
i was so nervous n scared over the whole thing.
but when it actally started.
whoa, the presence of God was just amazing (:
He's still the same Saviour i noe. ytd, today and forever.
it makes my heart skip a beat to even think abt it.

went over to jo's hse after cell.
deborah n liyun washed my hair! haha
i think being a hairdresser's rather cool.
i wont exactly mind styling ppl's hair!
anyhow, went off to play at the playground n corridor.
a lil accident happened.
i ended up having a baluku on my forehead n right leg.
tt big thing on my head hurts lyk crazy.
i hope it doesnt swell.
anyhow, jo, dun worry (:
i'm still alive!

they were planning all the activities n fun stuff we're gonna do during the hols during cell today.
got me so hyped up.
and today rrly made me realise smth.
some things Never change.
some ppl are just meant to be there for you.
i mean, those rrlyrrly good pals.
no matter wat happens, they are still there.
period. be it thick or thin. i really thank God for such ppl.
and den theres this other grp which is unchanging.
lyk no matter how far you run away, how far you go.
they're still there for you.
aint tt a nice feeling?
thank God for this buch of ppl too (:

i was just thinking
maybe i've been putting a strong front a little too much all these while.
i mean.
ppl Do fall.
ppl Are allowed to fall.
but sometimes when they fall, they end up hurting those ard them.
so perhaps its best tt one keeps to himself at times.
aiya
am i even talking english?
just treat this as a casual conversation.


shoots. fourteen days!?
tts like a longlonglong time.
i dont exactly consider it a bad thing. nor a good thing.
i just think it aint very pleasant.
wat am i supposed to do?
act lyk nth has ever happened? or just be friendly.
put on my Big Friendly smile.
act innocent n be a Fool lyk wat i was 2 yrs back.
rubbish.



i think i am get emotionally-influenced very easily.
tell me if its good or bad?

i want to Learn Kick-boxing.


evan: haha rubbish. i wasnt the only one who ate okay! theres Angeline n LIYUN who ate alot more than me

poke: (: thanks a million. and i found my phone! praise God (:

jo: it shall be my turn to wash ur hair nxt time!

i'm trying to peel this gum totally off the sole of my shoes

16th May'06

hey world, so lets see wats over and wats not.
mt paper 1-over
El paper 1-over
E maths paper 1-over

A maths paper1 n 2-not
Mt paper 2-not
El paper 2-not
E maths paper2-not
ss-not

frankly speaking,
i'm rrly glad i have the hols to study for my sciences and humans
if Not, i Will fail my sciences. comfirm 100 percent.
thank God for tt.

i tried studying in the library ytd.
apparently i managed to stay awake for only half an hr.
i spent the rest of my time there, falling asleep.
and when i woke up i was lyk 'woah'
Crap.
wasted so much time there.
so i tried studying at hme instead.
its no better lar.
i Had no choice but to break my fast.
i rrly had no choice.
my mama forced me to eat.
and i cant possibly tell her tt i'm fasting n stuff rite?
so, there goes.
oh well.
i'm still pondering over where i shld study tmr.

my hair is needs a haircut badly!
but if i snip it off it wont make into a ponytail.
yea, i'm keeping it.
shoulder length maybe.
hah, lets try this out

a phone call frm Jolene made me so happy ytd!
(:
i was rather surprised n elated hearing her over the phone.
apparently, she was worried abt me cause i lost my precious stuff.
so sweet lar!
make my heart melt only.
(:
and when i bumped into her this morning,
i felt lyk hugging her!
cause she said she missed hugging me on sundays.
but i resisted.
cause its rather wrong to hug her in sch, esp in such open areas, and in frnt of the staff room.ppl Will just staree and the teachers wld probably come after me after tt.
thank God i have a pony tail now!
who noes wat else they might think.
i am not exaggerating.
but my junior thoguht i was a bung.
RAH.
i'm not!
haha
so anyhow, i passed her tt postcard which i wanted to pass her so long ago.
(:
you are so cute!


we're most probably gonna watch the Davincci code this sat.
aiya however you spell tt.
i dunno how to spell it cause i've not gotten any near to tt book.
to be honest,
i've always been rather afraid of such rubbish, though i noe its not true.
i've been so curious over it
but everytime i hear abit of it, i get the creeps.
you tt eeriee feeling, and i'm afraid tt my faith will be tested.
but anyhow.
its all crap larh.
better to watch so you can explain to non-christian friends rite?
why not be part of it and let ppl see the light, rather than to hide frm it.
there rrly is nothing to be afraid of.


i rrly want my hp back.
and i Need it badly.
so do i with my wallet.
i MISS it so MUCH.
oh well.
i shall just try to be really really NICE.
haiyar, since the person has alr taken my stuff.
i shall just BLESSED tt person n not curse or watsoever.
so, if it rrly means smth to tt person in keeping my stuff.
if he/she rrly gets to benefit.
i dun mind not having them back.
just be blessed and go away, and..
DONT take MY STUFF again.
haha
i think i sound so rude.


i think its so much better to reply taggies here.
so here goes! (:

hansheng:
heya thanks a million for Your bk and for cheering me up! haha i'm feeling better
(:

jolene:
jojo! (: i noe you care. and i just want you to noe tt i CARE for you too!

sandy:
i'll teach you guitar if you dun mind learning frm me! and i DONT drink oil everyday okay. tts so gross! haha imagine tt liquid in ur mouth!?




and so i say it again, that you make my heart go faint

14th may'06



i dunno whether to cry or to laugh.

so it goes, after a greatgreat day in church.
i rushed hme.
bathed, and headed for the library.
i ran to the bustop hoping to catch the bus.
WELL. guess wat!?
i realised my hp was missing when i got onto the bus.
i mean, it Was with me just minutes before.
and the next thing i noe, Proof.
Gone.
my first reaction was wat the!?
i felt superb Lost at tt moment.
in short, i rrly felt lyk crying.
but i told myself Not to be discouraged.
and Most of all, Not to Blame God for all tt happened.
though deep in my heart i was crying and flooding Him with qns.
why me? why of all times, Now!? just before i get to the library n sit dwn and study?!
now i dun even feel lyk studying.

so anyhow, i alighted the bus.
and i rrly didnt noe wat to do.
i just walked ard tt isolated place for abt half an hr.
searching for some public phone, and getting over my senses.
finally, i board the bus Back to my hse.
right.
so here goes the other tragedy.
i Reached my hse.
alighted the bus.
and guess wat!?
my wallet's gone.
i dunno why, how, when. but for some reason. it just disappeared. out of my sight.
i rrly rrly felt lyk crying this time.
because its all so so freaky.
and mysterious.
my first thought was this character in the bible, Job.
God allowed Satan to come against Job, simply because job was a great servant of God.
His properties were taken away,
almst everything. He lost everything in a blink of an eye.
and even his relatives and family.
they were all dead.
yet Job still trusted in the Lord.
and God multiplied n blessed Him even more.

but this is soso freaky.
i dunno if God is testing me the way Job was tested.
but when i came online and i saw Sandy's msn nick.
"Shall we indeed accept good frm God, and shall we not accept adversity?" Job 2:10
this was wat it said.
i was taken aback.
because tt msg seemed lyk it was directly for me.
i think i'm getting paranoid. and very worried.
cause' my whole family's not gonna be hme today.
i was thinking and thinking and thinking,
wat if smth bad happened to them, just lyk Job?
but, i noe tt my God will protect me.
he wont allow anything tt i cant overcome fall upon me.
so i guess, i shld just shut up n stop complaining.
and give thanks instead for all the other goodness in my life.
maybe i just have to learn to get away frm all the worldly things.

it seems lyk i've been cut off frm the rest of the world.


anyhow
i guess i'm gonna pray and keep my day holy.
hopefully an angel will appear at my door tmr morning.
and return my those precious stuff.
and i'm gonna study hard!
nono, watever happened is not going to affect me.



at least, i'll make sure it doesnt

hey world,
look at this word, just look at it.
Joash.
J-o-a-s-h
i got this name out of all the mixing and matching.
NICE.
:D
i want my son to have tt name!
and i think "Tasha" sounds rrly nice too.
haha
look at what these beautiful names have made me become.


i studied today.
or you can say i studied alot.
i woke early today. for wat? to study lar!
and i even went to the library Alone.
cause' it was just too noisy at hme. and i felt so lethargic.
noe wat, loneliness KILLS.
it rrly does. i resisted myself frm talking to the wall.
it wld appear so Stupid. haha
anyhow, i was studying n studying n studying when the library got rrly empty.
cause it was dinner time.
den a Lesbain couple came along.
and of all places, they have to sit directly opp me.
so i was staring face to face with tt bung.
i almost puked.
not tt she's bad or anything. well okay, their actions werent That pleasant.
but she reminded me of someone.
it kindof evokes this sense of admiration n respect.
well, yea haha. i tend to respect n admire the love a Bung has.
i dunno why.
but it just seems so sacrificial n Special somehow.
Anyway. i think she recognised my sch or smth.
cause she just wldnt take those eyes of hers off me.
so i left in the end.
i kindof regretted. and tt stupid image of them is still stuck in my brain.
i shld have walk up n spoke to them.
and maybe tell them abt christ?
i noe it sounds dumb.
but who noes wat difference it wld make.

its all coming back.
and we're heading for china again.
with tt same bunch of ppl.
i wonder how much a person can change within 2 yrs.
i rrlyrrly do hope we changed for the better.
but i seriously cannot imagine US sitting together side by side just lyk before.

exams are starting in less than two days time.
i need to pray real hard for a miracle!
i believe, believe, believe
that all things Are and Will be Possible.


oranges, bananas, watermelon, apple, honeydew!
forgive me.
i think i got hyped up all of a sudden.
who wants to dunk some balls Now!?
i wish my mum gave birth to an older brother.
and a pretty little sister.






i'll do things My way. let me show you what its like.

12th May'06

i was just thinking today.
if someone were to point a gun directly at my head, wld i deny christ?
Nopes. i wont.
though i noe it WILL hurt FOR Sure.
and i noe it sounds dumb.
i'll just stand there n pray for a miracle.
either tt or i'll pray tt it wont hurt much.
maybe someone can try it out on me some day?
haha
i hope my faith doesnt fail me





cause' no words can describe what you mean to me

10th May'06

wednesday.
we took height n weight today.
and it was totally, absolutely horrible.
at least i grew a teeny weeny bit vertically.
other den tt, i grew Alot.
A lot, A lot, A lot.

we played bball!
and it made me rrly rrly happy.
i realised tt pumping in of adrenaline makes you real hyped up! (:
i cant get enough of it.
i'm glad to say tt i've started my A maths revision!
well, at least abit is better den nth.
since i cant change wats done.
lets hope i make the best of wats left.

i dun rrly understand you.
why are thigns still so uneven for you?
i've seen how things make a turn for the better this yr.
yet you choose to deceive urself tt
everything there is, is very superficial.
no wonder you never rrly felt happy.
i dunno how am i too help.
well, i guess its best i avoid, looking at ur state.
but i hope one day you'll find happiness?
serious.
studies arent everything you noe.


mamalicious!
cause' i took a spin at the playground the other day.
and i realised tt i've been missing so much fun.
and before i know it, exams are coming.
all the pressures n troubles of life are piling up.
within everything, we struggle to plan for fun.
outings at the beach, steamboat, shopping, so many rubbish!
its called self-dellusion.
i'm glad i master the art of it.



i'll always stand for you

9th May'06

i just realised that my exams start NEXT week.
that is lyk so soon.
i guess i was off somewhere day dreaming my head off.
so much tt i lost touch with things on this earth.
right.
won't be online for abt two weeks, i hope.
it wld be even better if i'm off for long.
i got to study realreal hard.

had prayer meeting today.
and i was thinking of some stuff.
i think we rrly need to do smth abt our sch.
We. OUR sch.
who noes, when all the sec fours graduate, PL will be soso dead.
there'll no longer be revival.
its true.
you see, its lyk every wk, our prayer meeting only has the same old ppl.
all sec fours.
we rrly need to do smth.
just wat. when.
we need the strength.
we cant do everything all the time.
we have our studies too.
ppl always complain tt they are busy.
no time for bs, no time for cell, no time for service.
but lyk Hello?!
we're sec four.
yet we Are making time.
why not you guys too?
its not an excuse.

i'm sorry.
but i'm agitated n upset over the state things are.


things tt are impt to my life now (:
-God, jesus, Holy spirit!
-PL revival
-bball
-studies
-cell grp
-friends
-family
-beach!
-steamboat (:

um hmm.
other den tt, i guess i dun have tt much of a time to care anymore.




hey there, nice knowing you
its been real pleasant meeting you, i promise (:

7th May'06

sunday!
i LOVE sundays ((:
today's trip to lunch made me happy.
it wasnt the food or anything.
it was the company.
though it wasnt smth great.
but, simple things lyk hanging out together in a Big Big family made me feel the warmth within (:
uh huh
its Nice.

"if what you do isnt fulfilling God's purpose, whats the point?"
i so agree with this statement.

hey Rachel,
my best buddy.
i rrly hope tt you wont give up.
i noe the going gets rrlyrrly tough at times.
aiya.
but we're made to be conquerors yea?
not losers.

i've nth much to share in here.
i just hope tt the burden tts burning ard me will be lifted soon.
Real Soon.





fools dont differ

6th May'06

hey world.
today made me all hyped up and happy (:
right.
and so, i got my way out of the hse in the morning.
well, i felt so so bad.
its not tt they grounded me or smth.
but either way, they practically ignored me.
Anyhow. not going for cell will make me feel Even Worse.
so.
aiya, you noe and i noe.

anyhow, i was Superb early today.
was sitting at this bubble tea place in bishan, killing time, waiting for nanxiao n her cousin.
so i was with my precious bubble tea, reading the bible, listening to music.
when..
a pair of hands covered my eyes.
i cldnt see at all.
my gosh.
my first thought was,
"HUH!? who is this..ulu pandan guy"
the hand was rough so i figured it was some guy friend.
freaked Me out lar! i thought it was some kidnapper please.
and he still can remove his hands and Laugh AT ME!?
i had a shock of my life!
it was pleasant bumping into him though.
nice guy, i havent forgotten you, buddy (:
you Always, Always say tt you arent impt to me.
but you've always always been in a corner of my mind, unmoving.

went for cell (:
i'm starting to love everyone ard me More n More.
thank God for this wonderful, wonderful family.
yea yea (:
i'm loving it. a whole lot!
smth embarrassing happened.
i wore my bro's friend's slippers cause i cldnt find my today.
it has Absolute No friction alright.
so when i reached for cell, i was jumping alr.
who noes tt the ground was wet.
Bam. i slipped and slided on the floor when i jumped.
shoots.
super embarrassing n painful
Rah.
i was laughed at!
haha but seriously, i dun mind making everyone happy even if it means embarrassing myself.

we ATE and Ate after cell.
the other cell made their way not long later.
i felt so loved!
Oh Manz. its so wonderfully amazing.
the way sarah lee clung to me.
the way sandy wong hugged me.
the way evan pay hugged me too.
the way i cuddled up to elana.
oh manz. i rrlyrrly felt lyk giving each one of them a Big Fat Kiss!
haha of course i didnt.
though i was rather grossed out by their actions.
aiya! i was just kidding n playing.
i rrly love you guys (:
you dunnoe how much you mean to me.
you guys make fiona smile!
and jolene was being sucha Darling.
she gave me tt card card card!
so sweet lar.
my heart nearly melted.
almost. (: you got to try even harder nxt time.
haha

went over to Rach's hse to dunk some balls.
i think she must be rrly happy.
cause we flew all the way there to keep her company.
haha
me, liyun n junle.
it was super Fun (:
i wanna go dunk More balls Again.
we were laughing, singing songs and joking throughout everything.
eh. and they made tt stupid bet.
tt if my team lose, i've got to wear bikini, and junle trunks.
my gosh.
i was lyk, wat the!?
haha!
of all times, we had to lose at the very last match.
but NAH. i am Not going to wear tt bikini thingy.
Skirt. i promised them, wat can i do!?
haha
we played bball barefooted,
my feets' all sore and painiful.
but it was worth while(:




hide-and-seek can be a tiring game at times

6th may'06

i woke up with this Sick Bitter feeling.
i shant complain, or scold in here.
i figure tt it wont make me feel any better anyway.
Jesus, I stand for You, No matter what You lead me through
They will chase me out, and close me down. but Jesus, I stand for You


they've made me feel so bitter and rotten on the inside.
sometimes i rrly just cant help but ask WHY?
i noe i've asked it so many times.
but still.
hold your tongue.
its blabbering so many things tt i dun want to hear.
and they rrly make me sick and angry.
look who's the one who isnt stting a good example.
look who's the one who's corrupted.
You. not me.
stop blaming me.
Jesus, I've stood my ground, When unbelief was all around
I have felt the sting rejection brings. but Jesus, I still stand for You



I,
dont rrly noe wat to say alr.
i dun feel lyk saying much.
i just feel lyk punching someone Real real hard.
A time will come when everyone will turn their eyes on the risen son
Until that day, this world will turn away
So I'll take your hand, I'll always stand for You

other den tt, everything else is fine.
i supposed.
we played bball ytd!
tt little thing gt my adrenaline kicking in.
Nice (:
shall go throw balls someday.
its makes me rather happy.
shopping with ah Soon made me feel so comfortable ytd.
its been rather long since we both last went out together.
i miss my darling soso much.
life's been so catchy.
i thank God for things tt never change.





start the first move, and let me noe if its true

4th May'06


hey world, i'm back alive n kicking (:
firstly. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to SARAH LEE
i thank God for princess Sarah!
i rrly rrly hope you lyk tt present i gt you.
i explored this rather old but cool christian stall and
after spending a long while staring at those Beautiful stuff,
i decided to get you That.
(:
someone just bless me with those pretty little spiritual gifts frm there.
i wld so Love it.

anyhow, i feel so free
did i mention my heart has just bloom a flower?
i feel so relaxed
Rejoice. my tests are over. at least for this wk.
leave it to some other time to fret over the results.
its time for a little break now.
i can seriously feel all my pimples popping.
you see how stressing this can be?
its not even That Near O's and the ppl ard me are scaring me.
some stop coming online.
some stop blogging.
some start mugging lyk some siao nerds.
and some just remain cool and calm the way the are.
like me.
and i think i'm crazy.
cause' i Ought to Feel smth.
why aren't i feeling Anything??
i'm gonna spend my days in the library as the exams draw near.
its gonna be my second hme.
i realised. it can be rrly productive.
haha. i in love with studying.
right

its been a while since i hit the streets.
its present-hunting tmr with ah Soon.
i kindof miss tt place!
hah

sharing of devotion in frnt of the whole sch was rather okay i guess.
guess wat
of all days, i had to oversleep on tt day.
so well, i rushed to sch.
and Of Course, when you rush to sch, everything will be in a mess.
my rather long hair was flying everywhere, messed up.
socks were low. forget to remove my unmatched earring.
den Just befre my sharing in Front of the whole sch.
the discipline mistress came up to me
she was lyk:
"fiona, your hair is rrly long, see me later. i'm gonna cut ur hair for you.
and buy a new pair of socks.
throw away ur earrings. and ur nails!"

Rah! of all times!
i was fretting lyk crazy while i shared the devotion.
i think i sortof screwed things up.
but anyhow, thank God she didnt cut my hair.
who noes wat i'll look lyk now.
anyhow, i've got to tie it frm now onwards.
and tt earring is in the dustbin!
it was a gift!
i'm gonna save up n buy the exact one back.
i dont care!


my dad was talking a Whole lot just now during dinner.
he was talking abt occupation n ur grades blah blah blah.
den my brother mentioned smth abt his future career.
and my mum said smth abt a pastor and she was laughing away.
i just went,
"i want to be a pastor"
Woahh.
you shld have seen it all.
the entire atmosphere changed.
you cld practically see their faces and their emotions.
i shld have just shut my mouth up.
i shld have just zip up my stupid mouth.
but inside me, my heart was overflowing with excitement and joy.
of course, they all started lecturing me and watever lar.
they think that i've been influenced.
and they said pastors are for chosen ppl. anointed ppl.
i rrly rrly felt lyk saying,
"how do you noe tt God hasnt spoken to me? you dun noe how much i've grown spiritually.
if only you wld just care n listen."
well, i tried it before.
i tried sharing with them abt all the amzing encounters i've had before with God alone.
but the refused to listen till the end.
they just shook their head n refuse to admit tt God did smth great in me.
they think i'm too young.
tt i'm just a little pea.
but hey, my saviour can use anyone.
Anyone.
why wont they listen?
sometimes, it rrly hurts.

anyhow, i'm fine.
because i rejoice in wat the Lord has done.
she's really improving.
and now tt i see it all happening.
this is So COOL.
i'm so glad tt i'm actually the one witnessing this all happening.
she's growing, i can sense it.
and soon, her bible study's starting.
she's been coming back more n more often for cell,
for service.
i thank you God.
its another princess in Your kingdom tt i will see being added soon.
(:
yea.
this is so cool.




i still think that you are lovely
fret not, baby

and so, i'm back again.
sad to say, i wasted practically the whole day.
i spent 6 hrs plus plus, forcing myself to Sit at my table.
but i ended up staring at those pages straight.
ppl i noe were locked at hme today, just lyk me!
its Happy Lethargic day
well, i'm a sec four kid, wat can i expect?


i''m bored.
seriously.
well, you cant blame me for doing this little thing.
everyone's allowed to do things they feel lyk it every now and then.
and tt includes me (:


My ex is: a dude
Maybe I should: stop slacking n start studying Hard
I love: hanging out at the beach
I don't understand: why gays are Gays
People say I'm: childish
Love is: something amazing
Somewhere, someone is: feeling as bored n useless as me
I will always: Love Jesus (:
I think the current US President: is doing his business
When I wake up in the morning: i think of wat is to come
My past was: stupid
I get annoyed when: i get bugged at for Superb long
Parties are for: FUN, for ME
My dog is: my imaginary
My cat is: not alive. will never be, i dun want it to be
Kisses are the best when: its dark n rainy
Tomorrow: i go to sch n the library to be a Nerd
I really want: to see Heaven
I have low tolerance for people who: Nag
People who should do this: are ppl who want to be entertained





i'll follow you if you follow me