17th June'06


i went shopping ytd with LIYUN
and we got some stuff.
(:
i read a tag on my blog just now and it rrly made me Smile.
i thought things werent gonna be exactly smooth with you.
but, its okay now.
i think i cant live without you either.
you're wat, i can say. one of God's greatest gift to me.
and i hope to takecare of this gift always.

i guess many things happened lately
which has left me in a state of shock.
just a couple of days ago someone told me smth.
it was so unexpected.
i nearly died frm shock.
it only leaves me to qns myself.
do we rrly rrly live in a broken down world?

i nearly lose control and Shouted at him to wake up.
asked me if i was disappointed,
of Course i was.
of course.
because i thought you were Much stronger den you are.
and I've always looked to you as someone who's so Great n amazing.
to me, you're someone who cld do smth Great.
its just the things on this world which have been stopping you.
but i trusted you.
tt you wont allow these things to pull you dwn again.
just lyk wat happened the other time.
cause you promised it wont happen anymore.
and in my heart i was so happy.
i cld see you growing n becoming someone all so mighty n holy and amazing.
soemone whom i'll look up to and say WOW.
but apparently not.
i'm trying hard not to blame you.
all these while i've been trying Real hard to be patience.
to be honest,
i think if you put me through a Patience test now.
i wld pass.
thank God i'm able to control myself.
i swallowed wat i was feeling.
i Thought you were going to help the situation.
i Thought tt after all the stuff you were busy with.
you wld come in n try to make things better.
cause you said you wld.
and you said we're gonna go through this whole thing together.
look now,
i supposed things on ur side werent smooth at all.
and you finally felt so tired.
tired.
until you took the wrong turn.
man.
how i wish i was there to help.
it wldnt be tt bad now.
i'm not blaming you buddy.
but i hope you'll wake up soon.
and realise tt you arent always correct.
esp this once.

i realised.
sometimes you're just so afraid to approach someone and Care for them.
you might think it wont make much a difference.
but when you come to realise,
you found tt if only you had just cared for tt person at tt time.
he/she probably wldnt be in the state they are now.

every little thing makes a difference.


forgive me,
i'm in a state of self reflection.
or rather, this post is meant only for me.

theres many things i have to conquer lately.
fear.
tts the biggest, Biggest thing.
and doubts.

i look at things and sometimes i qns myself.
am i walking correctly?
i have to admit tt sometimes i regret not giving in to myself.
not giving in to my flesh.
this was how things were,
every little bit my flesh felt lyk doing n it wasnt right,
i wld be lyk No.
no. no. no.
and it didnt happened.
soemtimes i regret doing so.
who noes if i ever gave in,
things wld be So diff now.

but i've come to accept tt
i'm not Living for myself.
i'm living for the one above.
i made tt choice.
and its greater is He who lives in me than myself.


Lord, i just need a lil more strength to pull through this.
just a lil more.
if You were able to help me overcome all the previous odds,
i dun see why you cant be here again.


I'M A HAPPY GIRL.
i'm not going to let things affect me anymore.
yups, starting frm now.
i change.
change the world. and not let the world change me.
give me ur support please.





i cant bare to look at you without thinking a million things



LIYUN: of course its good. it gets rid of gases in YOUR body!
ANONYMOUS: its okay. i hope to see yu there. dun be lazy! i noe i'm naggy at times. but we're to be convertionists rmb? WWJD
SANDY: haha tts a COOL dream! oh manz. where did tt black oil come frm!?