someone once told me,
"the greater your calling, the more trails you'll face"
i sure hope this is so
sometimes i feel like the world is against me
AHH
the letdowns frm the past few mths have been Enough
and now i cant even get the combi that i Want.
its really eerrie you know
cause one min you decide to be firm and the next, smth comes along Again
BUT
i've convinced others around me that surely, theres more to this
and i too will believe that God has a Greater purpose for me
beyond this whole picture
i dont think my God will lead me into a path thats doomed for sure
would He?
my saviour wouldnt.
i'm taking..
H2-lit! history, econs
H1-maths

--

friday night:

these feelings' taking control

i know what it feels to be loved
that feeling is totally Awesome
that is why when things come our way,
i can either do smth about it
or sit and pray real hard that it doesnt affect our friendship at all
both are Equally impt to Me
i wldnt want to loose any.
-


if we hold on together,
i know our dreams will NEVER die



nobody said it was easy

HELLO everyone!
orientation ended with me feeling a little High (:
i only started enjoying it just when things were ending
well, we had Fun, bid our goodbyes sadly
so much that we forgot all at exchanging contacts
HAha, so Dumb.
gotta do that the next time we see each other in school

up till now, i've only found one person with the same subject combi as me
hopefully, i'll mix well in class
H2-math, LIT :D , econs
H1-history
can you feel that a revival's coming?
cause i sure can feel it
nicolette's back in SR, and theres another huge gang of PL lites
smth amazing is about to happen soon
it makes me kindof nervous actually
but, i'll make sure that i'm well prepared.

i dont know where God will lead me to
but i guess i trust Him enough to know that He'll send someone to pick me up when i fall.
-

so, i met junling n joby after sch ytd
we went to my workplace to visit
i am Not working anymore! ):
i'll miss the thai related thing, i'll miss serving n eating the shushi-s
i'll definitely miss the friends that i've made too
but lifes like that.
aint it?
so many things have been happening recently
and they all come one after another
i spent one night convincing myself to look on the positive side of things
and i Am Really Trying to.
i'm gona last longer than expected (:
-
we sat by jl's pool in the night
oh Yea, not forgetting tt her lover boy was around too
and so was josh, who is 'joby's'
i was practically being a Gigantic Lightbulb!
lying on my chair, in the quiet night,
tuen left, i see dear jl n her guy.
turn right, i see joby n hers
do you understand how i felt?!
Haha nahh, i jus read bth of their blogs.
Yes (: you two are impt to me too!
though i dun really show it
maybe two or three years later we can really go on triple-dating
for now,
thou shalt be strong!

i tried alcohol a couple of sips here and there
totally not interested
--

i feel like i need a million things right now
i WANT-
RIPCURL/QUIKSILVER flip wallet
ADIDAS jacket
a good pair of JEANS
converse SNEAKERS

show me the MONEY


okie dokes,
i slept at 4 plus last night and i woke at 8 plus
its time i get some sleep




like a literature text come alife

HEY all,
you have no idea how many PL lites there are here in SR
probably more than 15
including..
soon li, elana, diane, daphne, gradys and the list goes on
and i really thank God that at least, i've got the company of these ppl
SR's like a 'miniature' PL to me.

the first day was Tough man!
Despite having so many PL lites in the same sch,
None of them are in the same grp as me
and so, i talked more and made a few friends here n there
i've got one New Good Buddy (:
Clarrissa
she's a catholic, very very interesting.
haha and my dear friend just joined O school not too long ago
plus, she wants to visit our church for fun very soon
just how small get this world get?
-
it really Isnt easy making new friends
esp when everyone's alr got their own cliques after the first intake
but my opinion of things have changed a lil
haha, IJ girls can be very friendly though they appear to be terrorising
Nice ppl lar i must say
and surprisingly, theres quite a number of SA ppl in my sch n grp
i thought they had all head to SAJC

for the past two days,
we cheered and sat through talks
today's college Dance was Fun!
HAHA though it so embarrassing
was most probably one of the few times everybody laughed!
but it had be so much better if my partner was a girl
the girl beside me was pulling a Longg face cause she didnt lyk her partner
no offence lar, but he just looked..more disciplined and different.
Haha, made me laugh like crazy
she went, " i dont mind a hotter guy" *rolls eyes* *covers face*
aha!

went over to junling's hse after sch today
i was so tiredthat i slept n slept
we're gona have a stayover tmr!
one in a Million years
:D
it actually feels great to have Friends who treasure you the way you treasue them





tell me whats fiction and whats fact?

hello world,
i am finally going to attend school tmr just like any other ordinary person
i MISS school ALOT.
after a few phone calls and a long time spent on chatting,
the negative thoughts that i had initially are more or less gone
(:
SRJC wont be that bad lar
Seriously.
its gona be like a second PL to me
cause i've alr found like more than Ten ppl going there too
of course, PL is the best and will still be
i am really Happy that i'm not going in alone tmr

Thank You so much for all the encouragements
(:
fiona feels better now

we'll study hard and pull it through
and show the world what we can do


i can feel love

went out with AUDREY and HAZEL today
(:
one from AC n the other frm SA
boy, i sure gained lot from listening and listening.
we wanted to watch protege but changed our minds
ate at Thai Express!
finally
i feel a lil richer than usual times
maybe its because i've been saving n saving n saving.

i spent my day at junling's hse ytd
fiona's gona do an art piece when she's free
its gona be a picture on a boy n a girl
k-i-s-s-i-n-g
haha

i just found out that my dear 19 year old friend
has had S**
and its not his first time
oh. my Gosh.


i am disgusted.


more than some pretty face

my supervisor cancelled my shift on sat night
that meant one whole free night for joby n me
things werent going occording to plan.
but i was so glad that i had her
and she was glad that she had me

thank you for your LOLLY!
(:
it the first time someone gave me a big one

i think i might turn les for a short period of time
just KIDDING.
haha

we strolled ard clark quay after cell
and den headed for expo
we sat at the big windows in the library
the sight was Beautiful
round the corner, i cld see my workplace
i cldnt help but acknowledge tt i'm gona quite my job soon
do people really come n go in life?
and
i must admit i've not been a perfect friend to Everyone.
but i tried and the sometimes the going gets really tired for some.
why do i seem to feel tired lately?
is there even an end to it?

MAN. i see a pile of problems lying in front of me.
and to think that i wanna be a Psychologist.
someone once told me tt a Psychologist's got to have a Strong mind
be able to take one problem after another
and not let these burdens affect yourself emotionally.
seems like i cant even handle my own problems,
what about others'?
i Might die of depression Man.
-
and i feel it for Joby.
that stupid guy of hers,
i ever Do get to see him, the first i'll do is really to throw him hell lots of qns
and if he cant give a proper ans to each of them
i'll be sure to Kick his Butt real Hard.

thank God i'm single.


I AM OKAY.

and i'm going out today! with lana tan
and then i've got work tonight
(:

Soccer t-shirts are very very Cool




the way that i want you to know

hello world!
okay firstly, i've said it personally to my dear friend alr
but i want to shout it in here Big and Loud:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOON LI YUN! :D

see, its GREEN buddy,
thankyou
for the happy and the sad,
the sweet and the bitter
i treasure them all
its been Six whole years, and still counting yea?!
i hope you'll like the present that we got you.
theres still a few more days till you get it.
i'm so Sorry that its gona take so long man,
but i think you're gona like it.
(:


i've got a few pics frm last night.
theres more to come frm saihoo's camera
its nice to have friends who bring their cams along,
they capture all the nice stuff!

i spent my early hours of the day with JOBY ytd we tried a couple of jeans and guess what, we gave up haha. it was irritating having to find smth that fits you perfectly. so we sat and chat Alot instead. her boyfriend is one major source of a problem. but then again, its also her source of laughter and happiness. Love is so difficult to understand. i really wonder what it'll be like..maybe two years down the road for me? someone promised to be there when i need her Huh. better mean what you say! (:

that stupid woman fell sick today. i think she worries too much. but what i can i say? so as a good friend, i visited her n brought her to the doctor. the hours in the day were long but we entertained ourselves. YEA (: joby feels much better now.

hey sandy wong, Get well soon too! i do care for you, you know.

i was quite free this week. very free in fact, that i started to worry what i was gona do to waste my time away. cause theres no work for the whole of this week. i am starting to Miss it real badly. when i get back, i'm gona flash a Big big smile at the glass window opp.

anyhow, i guess the week's almst up anyway. gona swim tmr with my good old pri SIX pals (:

funny how things work. seriously, its feels much better not having to think of draining stuff.

i feel rather Blessed for now. and i thank my heavenly father for that(:

please dont play with me, my paper heart will bleed

hello world,
its been awhile since i last updated
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! (:

i know its typical,
but my first day of chinese new year was really much of eating n of course, catching up with relatives!
it was until we were half way to my grand dad's place tt i realised i wore black n white today
aha, what a coincidence
thanks goodness my grand daddy was hip enough to ignore tt matter
i wasnt able to make it for the cell reunion steamboat
i'm Sorry sandy, and also the others who put in lots of effort
i felt so bad man, causei know how it feels to organise things
Sorry. hope that we'll all like gather gt n have fun again,
its gona be a long time till then

on the plus Plus side..
met up with my dear maggiemee friend,
PAMELA soh :D
haha, we were supposed to shop for some new year stuff
but shopping can be really stressful man.
and yea, we Dont like shopping
so a change in plans caused us to catch a movie instead
wanted to watch PROTEGE but due to time constrain
we caught follow law instead. some local show
wasnt worth the money
but we did had fun talking n laughing in the freezing cinema
oh yea, right before the show i bummed into Joby(:
but she told me she was out with her family n her brother was around
we said our goodbyes real quick after hearing that
aha
personal issues.

i've been putting quite alot of effort into some stuff lately
hope it pays off!

cant wait for Next Week
-Grins
:D


oh YEA
did i mention tt i played with birds today?
we were at my Goduncle's place n the kids there have baby parrots!
my gosh, yellow n blue ones which looked superb pretty man
and so they were flying ard in the room,
landing on almst everypart of my body every now n then
my shoulders, hear, fingers, hands
if you're wondering, well,
they Did shit on my shoulder a couple of times
HAHA
but thank God, its baby birds i'm playing with
poo comes out dry and a small lump
i hope their still alive next year when i see them again


okie dokes,
see ya



what made God take so much care to make creation glow?
He could have made it black and white and we had never known.

after one whole day of commotion,
my head starts to spin
i feel really dizzy and i was(Am still) a lil sick since morning
with a little of cough n block nose
there was just so much to take in today

if you're wondering,
i didnt do that well.
it wasnt up to my expectation nor was it smth which i have been hoping for.
strangely, i wasnt surprised though.
my dream came TRUE.
man, i really duno how to put how i'm feeling to words
but i guess i just cldnt accept it.
i mean, its freaky you know.
having dreams and den once in awhile having these weird feelings that they wld come true.
and They really DO come true.
its not a bad thing, i know its the Holy Spirit at work.
and the past few times it happened, it Amazed it so greatly.
so i really asked God to use me again, in some way or another. just similar to the times when He wld simply speak to me through my dreams.
but
How wld i know that it had smth to do with my results.
and how wld i know that it had be so soon?!
i was scared, i didnt know what to do man.
i mean, i cldnt bring myself to accept the fact.
the fact that my results tallied with what i dreamnt.
for days i've been telling Him,
"this is not what i want, please give me smth better. just give it to me"
and i've been trying to hope tt somehow i had dream a better dream to cover up the bad one.
well, i Know that God has a purpose for everything to happen and since He even told me beforehand, there surely has to be a Big reason for me not getting into the jc i wanted.
right?

forget it if all of the above doesnt makes sense.
it doesnt matter anyway.

anyhow.
it was Superb scary today i tell you.
i cld even feel the tension before getting my results.
and when i got my paper, i refused to tear it open
Jean sihui n soon li were ard me, telling me to open open open
all the struggling got my result slip so cumpled now.
i've thought long enough
and
i kindof accepted what has been done.
i really should trust God more shldnt i?

words are really just mere words when compared to actions

i realised that theres still a long route to growing n learning
and boy,
do i have to be Strong.


tell me that its gona get better

SEVEN more days to valentine's
i guess this year's gona be one of the most boring year to celebrate it
for one thing,
no more cookies or presents or sweets frm all my Girlfriends
we're out of PL alr
and we dun meet up so oft anymore
arh!
last yr was fantastic man
just seeing little presents pilling up on ur table sends the joyous feeling
i'm Determined to not spend a lonely valentine's!
--

OH yea
TWO more days to the results day
i've dreamnt once tt i had 30 points
den i dreamnt my Physics mcq was 13/44, sec B n C full marks but prac was real bad and i failed overall.
and Then the recent dream was about getting 16 points
i want to have pleasant dream about my results before getting them
maybe 13 r 14?!
at Least i can get into AC in my dreams
it kindof makes me feel better you noe
you get wat i mean??

boy, i think before that we're gona go somewhere n have fun before facing reality
i Cant wait to see all my PL friends again
but the atmosphere is just so Wrong Wrong Wrong.
i am Scared.
--

went for a swim today with eLana n joyce
and den for prayer meeting

the JOY of the Lord shall be my STRENGTH

not gona allow other sorrows or sadness to pull me down
i know i'm in the right track n thats good enough


i have work today.
TADA (:





when i grow up i wana protect the ones i love

hello world,
i am Superb filled
new year cookies make me very very full
see lar, all the exercise for nth
i think i might find time for much exercise soon

so
i went for JAMs church with sandy ytd
and the ppl there are very hyper
in fact, they're very friendly too
i think its kindof expected that i'd be touched or smth
and i really was
it really encourages me to see these ppl so happy
and, a part of me envied them for not having to worry abt anything at all
-
i compared JAMs n CHILDREN church
and after thinking alot alot
i'm gona join JAMs (:
you can see that they need ppl there too
i wanna be the one who gives that extra love to especially extraordinary ppl
--

dear God
i dun wanna quite my job
help me to convince my parents please?
i wanna do well for O's
help me to be able to smile when i see my results please?


and God,
help me to Love you more
i do but i tend to ignore it sometimes
i wanna be More than this



love is unresonable

yo world,
i played badminton with lana n soon li ytd
andd HO
my Kick-boxing class is starting in April!
:D
YEA it had be perfect it were to start earlier though

--

will be trying out JAM's church today with sandy
i wonder wat it'll be like
well, not that i've never had any interaction with this grp of ppl before
but to stay in a ministry lyk this for ..years?
i hope that amt of patience n love
which those ppl in Jam's church have
-

man
you know, what can i do?
i'm not blaming anyone for telling me their sorrows or problems
and no, i'm talking abt this Particular person
its, a few ppl ard me
i cant help but feel lost.
and i question myself,
what can i do to help?
truth is, i cant do anything much
except to lend a listening ear.
and perhaps jus keep praying n hoping
up to this point, how am i supposed to know the direction when everyone else is lost too?
i need to be told what to do as well.
perhaps the storm's gona clear soon
i feel Sorry that i cant do much to aid anything.
but i hope this pair of ears help alot.
and for whats to happen, we'll pray n wait n see


i'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine

this is how the story goes

i've been working alot lately
mon to wed frm 11am to 11pm in the night
i'm reporting at 12 today!
its tiring but still fun

my secret (;

oh yea, YUAN MING is working in kenny rogers'
which, is right beside my workplace!
haha and we didnt even noe till Yeterday
throughout the whole day we kept writing notes to each other to entertain ourselves

i wana keep this job,
for Fun and other reasons (:

--

so, just about ten more days
and back to sch
i Miss going to sch like crazy

i want so many things on this earth
sch, work, church, family, friends
Give it all to me
i'll do my very best to juggle them

swimming?
Lets go SWIMMING!




cant live if living is without you

HEY world (:
i've been Really Really Missing alot of ppl lately
i look forward to the collection of O's cause it means seeing everyone again
but just moments ago i was talking to this friend of mine
who sat for O's before and retook it again
So Scary
she pratically described the whole scenario to me
i shall devote the rest of the nxt two weeks just playing happily and enjoying my work
before what is to come. which,
may change my destiny
sounds so serious huh,
well, it IS that serious
--

and
just to let some ppl know,
my spirits are all charged up and good alr
the optimism is back
i dunno how but Ohwell, it doesnt really matter
does it?

i need to get a Swimming Costume!
and
its been such a Longg while since i last touched my guitar
i used to treasure this 160 bucks instrument alot
i shall play it one of next few days
and hopefully, will be good!



this song is Nice (:

The Used - All That Ive Got




means the world to me

i'm burnt but i had fun
Swimming is my new interest
(:
but i'm still looking out for kick-boxing




i am not that i play

she drove forward onto the ground, flipped over,
then clamped her legs around one of the attacker's ankles
and knocked him to the floor with one quick wrench.

hey world,
i am alive and i'm still kicking
(:

work has become part of my life
and i'm making more new friends as the days go by
i've had a number of dreams related to my workplace n all
they felt so good



there were more men heading towards her this time,
she could see their switchblades glimming in the shadows of the night
and amongnst the darkness, it was difficult to ignore the wide grins they had on their faces


really, i've been dreaming of lots of things lately
the release of O' levels, back to my secondary school life and much more
the dream on my 30 points of the O's freaked me out real badly
i wonder where i'll be a few weeks later
and i wonder where the people around me will land too



she crouched again, sideswiped a leg and delivered hard punches to the stomach of the nearest thug
her head snapped back as someone attacked
bolts of pain rushed in as she was thrown off balance

but through it all,
God has been and Still is my source of strength
though i admit that the assurance's not as strong as before,
it still exists
through the people around me, though not many,
i'm inspired and encouraged to just keep fighting on
i've seen a few who're so on fire Despite everything and anything
and i'm so glad that i've got friends like this
that i've got Friends around me whom i can always depend on for assurance


where were all of them?
she thought of her companions and the idea of them turning their backs on her flashed through her mind
without warning, a wave of nausea swipe in and she felt her stomach curled
such thoughts were too disturbing
surely, she wasnt going to fight this battle alone,
was she?


maybe in different areas,
we will be fighting our own different battles in or individual worlds
but as long as i know that i'm not the only one left standing here alone
i guess,
it will keep me going




its still smiling at us

i'm sorry that i failed so many times
but i really cant do this all alone
i have so much mixed feelings on the inside now


God, i need an angel here on earth

i think, you're fine. you really blow my mind.

yesterday, i met Joby at j8
i was a couple of mins late and was panicking alr
its funny how you want to be on time when meeting some ppl
and how you want to be As as possible cause they're Always late
-some faces flashed through my mind as i typed the above sentence
haha
i say, Punctuality is the second best policy, after Honesty.

Joby wanted to buy a round cake for Jl
freaked me out real badly.
i thought she meant those Big Round ones, 3 ppl eat it all up?! and plus, i was the one who's gona pay HaHa
fair enough lar, she paid for the present so i pay the other half.
so we got the cake.
and we walked in the rain to Jl's hse
as usual, we wrecked her hse, looking for food
this time it's Marshmallows!
HAPPY SEVENTEEN, JUNLING (:
and smiles to our..ELEVEN years of friendship.
this is the eleventh year man, how cool is Cool?
this is what i call super Cool (;

we didnt do much in her hse
just slouching ard and i left early for work.

most people tell me they lose weight after getting a job
aha, i dont think so
theres so much sushi left when the shop closes
and as i work more often, i get bolder and lossen up
Talk more, laugh more, eat more (:
Very very yummy
theres an eye-candy at my workplace
aha, come and see!

-

so i decided to stay hme today after days of spending most of the time out of home
but its really boring with nothing to do at all
i've been watching you tube since this morning.
my eyes are gona POP soon.

two days ago, while i was havng my Two and a Half Hours break,
Audrey ang called to chat! (:
so right timing(: i almst died of boredom and Was looking for someone to entertain me
anyhow, she told me Lots about ACJC
and i've decided to join
HOCKEY ! thats if i get into AC
i cant wait for school to start officially
i feel out of place, hanging ard and not going to school.


cant wait to go to Lana's place tmr(:
and hopefully we'll bake cookies?

life doesnt seem to be as interesting lately
WHY??!
is it because everyone's either in school or at work?
i feel like theres so much catching up to do
shrooms, jue, Pam, audrey anggg, even soon li and lana
everyone's so busy with their own stuff

Man, i better find Fun tmr
if not i'll feel so weird and deprived
of laughters




but it was a white lie. does it still count?

Happy Birthday to..
ANGELINE and JOLENE ((:


friday,
i met Joby after work for a special reason
i think tt thing which we got for jl suits her Alot!
we spent the time away just sitting in MPH and reading
and joby ong sent me half way home haha
"thats what you do for a friend" that statement you made was really Sweet
(:

saturday,
went back to PL for CCA fair
guess wat happened on my way there?
i travelled All the way to school, only to find that i was at the wrong location.
i was at the old building when the school had alr shifted back to lorong ah soo this year!
that was so DUMB man.and a few days ago, i took the wrong train hme after work.
can you beat that?
so after a long time spent on travelling, i finally reached my new school
its Super Big
and i think its so unfair ):
i want to Study in This New school.
theres the auditorium, so much space and what,the basketball court's so cool!
argh
i Love PL alot alot alot.


so we went ard looking for jolene's present after that
soon li, li wen, elana, joyce n Me
aye, we talked alot about cell stuff in macs.
theres lots of things running through our minds now.

they all went to KENNY ROGERS for dinner while i was working!
and KENNY ROGERS is beside genki sushi
and they sat beside the glass window
they had a rather clear view of Me
and i had a rather clear view of what they were EATING.
and one, two, three, four, five of them were smiling at me non-stop though the glass windows, making funny faces
haha it made my work alot More FUN (:
thanks for spicing things up man!
i had a very very tough time controlling my laughter you know!
i've got those written tissue paper with me(:
-
i've started taking orders!
and i made so many mistakes.
the cook was so angry that he shouted, "wah lan, ni bu yao luan luan zuo la"
embarrassed the crap out of me
i poured a can of drink wrongly too.
and cause of that..i got to drink it cause the customer rejcted it.
AHA
blessing in disguise.
there was this other dish with a metal plate and fire below, the fire kept burning n burning so i blew to extinguish it when i cleared the plates.guess what?!
the fire grew bigger n it burnt the paper on the plate.
the SMOKE spreaded n covered 1/3 of the restaurant. customers were staring MAN
it was so scary! thank God someone helped bring it to the basin for me
i think i caused alot of chaos to happen but i'm still learning. its really really fun haha
working is so interesting!
and i say it again,
i like my job (:

--

sunday
today, God showed me a little smth
with referenceto the bible. i've yet to track down that particular chapter
but God, thank you for that little encouagement.
it was all i needed to keep me going. on and on.



i dont feel like talking anymore.
ANYHOW,
i just realised that i'm turning SEVENTEEN this year
its like the PEAK of the growing up stage
shall we do smth really different this year?



so he laments on his guitar

sometimes i run, sometimes i hide

hey world,
work has been tiring and Fun at the same time
i did lotsof washing on my first day
so much tt i was scared of it
and i even broke a big white plate haha
but it was starting to get fun last night
though i didnt know anyting much,
i stood ard cleaning containers, clear tables, spoke to customers?
some of them were Really really nice
and i Appreciate them alot Man
some were...Argh.
from now onwards when i eat in any restauruant,
i'm gona Smile at every waitress n staff
haha now i know how it feels.
the kitchen was really oily and slippery,
Mr JJ was showing me ard when i lost my balance,
he reached out to grab hold of me but i stopped sliding before i bumped into him
and we ended up Slapping a High-five in the kitchen
Haha it was really funny. but i had a Tough time controlling my laughter n embarrassment.
i served a number of wrong dishes ytd but i'm gona do better this time!
i DIDNT do any washing last night! aha :D
there was this other new guy who did it instead
he practically washed the entire night.
and i felt so bad for him, cause i know how it feels, whats more, it was washing the Dinner plates
there so many lar
so i offered to take over
he Looked like he was about to Die.
oh ya, Wasabi makes you cry. esp when its placed too near your eyes
i was crying like crazy when i washed the plates n packed the wasabi
HMM, it really is getting interesting
i hope to take orders soon!
--

it feels Very weird to not be in school as the world around me is schooling
just a few moments ago,
MI called to say that they've alr started deducting my school fees
my mum was furious man.
what makes you think that i dont want to go school?
you know, i do question too whether i am making the right decisions.
it might help if there were encouragements along the way

elana brought her homemade currypuffs for me to try ytd
it was rather nice (: and Thanks!

since i've started work, i havent been managing things that well
things to do with cell stuff, family and friends
its difficult to meet people's needs and my own all at the same time
but I'll really try my best.
i hope i dont let anyone down along the way anymore.


sometimes i hide

and the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning
but tell me, what happens when it stops?

the only one female singer which i have Liked and still do is
Britney spears
haha yea. that 'screwed up' woman who's so desperate for love with a messed up life
but i think she Really Is very pretty without that thick make up of hers
and her songs, tell of the loneliness in her life
i guess we cant blame her for wat she is
if we must blame,
blame in on the imperfect world.

-

year 2007 is here now
time passes really really fast
while the rest of the world is spending their time back in school
i wouldnt be, tgt with some ppl
hopefully this year, i would be making the right decisions and ranking my priorities correctly this time
spiritually, i dream of alot of things for this year
hopefully, by this year i would be serving in a ministry thats meant for me
and by the end of this year,
I would be the one walking down into the baptism pool, smiling as my friends n Family cheer me on at the side
i wish that i would be the one going into the water, instead of standing at the sides and dreaming for my time to come
dare to Dream Big, and it'll come to pass
come on, i'm ready for all's to come.
i'll be Strong this time.
--

along the way, i grabbed soon li and we thought through,
i Believe theres more to come for Our cell, N293
i dont believe that it'll just fade away like that
cause if my God knows that this whole thing's bound to be a failure,
He wldnt have created it in the first place
i dont believe that we cant do big things that are greater than us
and i dont believe that we can only sit n watch as the other cellgroups grow
as the other cellgroups laugh and become very bonded
i dont believe that we are meant to be small and thats it, fullstop.

it doesnt feel bad when i stumbled along the way and have become someone elses' stepping stone
i do grow in the midst of it all too
thank you for all the challenges and love which i felt along the way

of course there were many questions spinning in my head.
i'm not any superwoman

but i do remember of wonderful times
some of which are totally amazing
like the way God showed me his awesomeness through my dreams as i slept
He showed me what my friends were going through
and lo and behold, they were all true
i missed that moment of aweness
it was short but enough to blow me off my feet and stand Amazed by everything
others around me were amused too
but those dreams never came again.
they came for a short while and then stop and maybe come a little and then stop again
i guess i was too complacent.
last night, i dreamnt of something Very very real and i guess its an answer to the questions spinning in my head

God will make a way, when there seems to be no way


alright, enough of all these new year talk.
i Cant wait to work with Elana tan
i know that its gona be FUN!




i wanna be like Mother Teressa!(:

31st Dec'06

yo world,
where should i start from?
i have kindof alot to say tonight.

the quality hours of 29th Dec was spent with my sec two old buddies
Aud,Hazel,Xinrui,Rach and me
after bargaining and making such a fool of ourselves,
we rented the bikes at a very good price!
6 bucks for 4 hours, can you beat that?
and it came with free bottles of mineral drinks
the uncle was really nice and he even told us to take more water
HaHa
and i Caught them laughing at our auntyness okay!
i have to admit, we really sounded like experts in the market
but it was so funny!
aye, xinruiii you give ppl such a warm sense of security MAN(:
we cycled out of east coast and though we didnt noe the way,
just followed along with rui leading the way
and i Felt so CHEATED by hazel lim
that woman who claims she cant ride a bike for nuts
i totally believed and for Years i've been riding you ard east coast lar!
since sec one and all our class/clique outings?!
who knows she managed so fine on the bike that day when we made her to
have more confidence in yourself, you did so finee
haha now i dont have to ride you around anymore.
it was Beautiful
just riding with an all too familiar company by ur side,
enjoying the gentle breeze
and as you lift up your head, its the sun peeking out of the clouds
leaves swaying above your head as birds flew in the sky
yea, that was what i saw.
yes, now talking abt food. THEY eat so much.
every mama shop we past, someone just Had to purchase smth frm there
and we ate macs too.
so did i on the 30th and today
i am So Sick of macs haha
--

30th! and that was ytd,
went out with 6Gentleness'02 to east coast park(:
i must hav been the happiest person on earth this week
within a few days, i managed to catch up with so many ppl in my life
its pretty cool and ..nice!
we hung ard macs for Hours just sitting n chatting about our dear pri six life
aye, there was ang zi, zhiwei, jean, sihui, liyun, elana, joanna, tse mei!
so many ppl, i felt kindof happy and for some reason, i feel really special spending TEN whole years of my life in a purely all girls school
anyhow, guess wat we did to spend our time?
Arcade! haha
we played Para para, it was so funny watching elana play!
and that comp fighting game with soon li was so Hilarious
made me scream n laughed like a retard :D
oh yea. we even bummed into a 'false prophet' as we walked on the paths
i guess you can call him that
he was wearing all white and proclaiming himself to be Jesus, talking abt the judgement day
it was curiosity,
we all followed and questioned him Alot
i was fearful at first. who knows, there might be some kind of demon or smth?
but his eyes werent scary at all. it was Funny instead.
i had quite a fun time asking him questions
but tt incident left me alot to think about.
about the judgement day appraoching, and as more n more ppl claim to be Jesus in the near future
BUT one thing i know for sure,
my God wldnt do anything to harm me
-

so i spent two days in a row dwn at east coast park.
after playing with my pri six classmates,
i went to meet joby n junling for our Long Awaited stayover MAN
we just needed time to be alone
she, her and me
i waited super duper long for the bus.
one hour fifteen mins, only to realise tt the bus doesnt come on saturdays
how dumb was that?!
Anyhow, it was crowded dwn at junling's place
with her uncles n aunties playing majong
there was a warm feeling though and it felt like a Real home.
we watched "she's the man" so cool lar.
maybe i'll disguise myself as a guy someday and probably fall in love with some big n macho guy with killer looks and we'd share great chemistry
aha, i'm just kidding!
yes, i ate alot of fruits, all dipped in chocolate.
we chatted n played till around 4 plus
when i weighed myself on the weighing scale only to find that..
i LOST weight! ahaha! made me so super duper happy
and i was hungry alr, so we shared a huge bowl of cup noodles n choc
and we went to sleep straight after that
i think, i 've gained some weight back on alr
haha, Anyhow, i lost weight you know! how amazing is that?!
-

my life seems kindof perfect aint it?
well, everyone has problems
and i am no exception
to tell the truth, i was kindof affected and irritated real badly
over something so heavy. its been pulling down all my emotions.
and all i ever wanted to say in here was nth happy.
but God loves me enough to come in and rescue, ME just in time
YES.
i'm talking about today's service.
the sermon touched me very deeply and right now, i'm back on track again
Thank You so much God.
and now, i'm here to share and tell of God's amazing love.

i was tired but i knew i shld jus stay on. thats wat i did. and when things only got worst, i realised tt the firmer i stood hanging on, the tougher the going got. it was crazy i tell you. some stuff were stuck so heavily to my on my chest. i had thoughts of giving up. just taking a break and thats it. period. leave the job to someone else. leave everything to someone else. but today's message spoke right through my heart.
now that i know, at times, i just have to live on my own faith n carve out my own destiny myself.
and stop relying on God so much. stop being a baby, waiting to be protected all the time.
true, i've always imagined mysef hiding under the wings of my saviour.
and He wld shield me frm the harmful stuff.
but really, what good does it make?
its only Then when i really grow and learn.
"still" was so amazing today. its my favourite song and will still be in the future.
today really drew my strength and hope back in.
i guess men can really let you down. but God's words Never will.
at the end of it all, i still find myself drawing strength frm the lovely one above.
not any other.
after running in circles everywhere, i'm still back at square one.
realising that i can only feel secured when i Fall into the arms of my saviour as i fail.
and not any other.


now i do know the answer.
God sees it all, my friend. God sees it all

28th Dec'06

buddies from now

hello world,
i woke this morning early to work at Cisco building
its supposedly weide's job
but i replaced him for today cause he cldnt make it
and since i needed the cash,
might as well
-
i was rather Tensed up
its my first job you seee
and when i stepped into the building,there were so many security guards!
i prayed quite abit as i walked in and they were all similar prayers
well, God heard them all
when i stepped into the room, guess who i saw?
Jessamine! and her 3 friends
haha, so much for being scared
her friends were really nice ppl and they thought i was sec One or Two
Maybe i really do look young.
we carried boxes and packed face products throughout
HMM
working is quite fun actually
haha i like to work
after work, i was supposed to meet Mr weide
but somehow i lost my way and it started pouring like crazy
we settled in a coffeshop for dessert
instead of Aljunied Macs
mr turban wanted to show me ard Aljunied macs,
maybe i shld show him ard sembawang Macs one day too
and den the canal near my hse to look at luo han fish!
--

'graduation' by vitamin C is playing
i know, its a very old song
and ever since that very day when i was pri Six
e'er since then, when i hear this song, everything changes
i've said it a Gazillion times
but i still cant help and say,
I MISS, you noe,..PL, MY SCHOOL so badly
you can dun read it if you dun want to, cause i think i've talked abt this a million n one times alr

i Miss having lessons with jue,cmk,rachel and Sarah for just her presence in my class though we seldom talk in class
i Miss falling asleep during lessons n den waking up to find soon li or elana walking pass, throwing erasers at me
i Miss playing basketball after school n playing soccer with tt ball when no one's looking
i Miss playin the guitar in class
i Miss althea, drawing on my hands n legs n colouring my nails with her beautiful Art pictures of donkeys, cows and silly faces
i Miss being late for assemblies n having to run up the slope to sch, having to stand in frnt of the whole sch with Rachel n Diane
i Miss hanging ard at the playground with blackspot n Diane when the rest of the whole sch was having assembly cause we were afraid to face punishment
i Miss smuggling food into my Mouth during lessons, in frnt of the prefects
i Miss Recess time in sch, drinking milo with pearl
i Miss science experiments when rach n i wld be busy copying wat sarah do and sometimes all three of us get everything wrong
i Miss being a good girl and just listening in class
i Miss just sitting at the corridor with a friend or two, sharing our problems
i Miss shouting n screaming as we run around the corridors
i Miss Wearing my school uniform

--

nowadays,
it seems like peope around me are getting more n more involved with
this thing called LOVE
i must admit, its an amazing feeling

but for some,
lets not look for love

let love look for you instead

26th Dec'06

Merry Christmas
was wat i wanted to say ytd

i'm one day late, but at least i didnt spend a lonely christmas this yr
i was all packed n ready to spend the night out alr
thank you so much, soon li
the last place i wanted to be ytd was hme
and you helped me alot
i was really upset abt you not being able to spend the night along with us
and i really noe exactly how you feel
and elana wasnt ard too
but we can aways have another one
theres still so Many more years to come
yea?
looking back at last yr,
it was smth quite unique n memorable indeed
as the world ard us was counting dwn on christmas eve,
soon li n i were at a bustop, eatin cup noodles at 12 am sharp
tt very thing, i still can rmb (:
-

this year, we bummed over at evan's hse
angel, sandy, me for some reasons the rest cldnt come
aye, we talked alot and had fun (:
i'm surprised tt sandy managed to stay awake till 4 plus haha
--

the end of the year is well approaching
recent heart to heart chats with certain ppl have left me Alot to think about
its really funny how different ppl look at situations differently
and all these diff perspectives have left me, very very confused
sometimes i dun even noe wats real n wats not
i guess at the end of it all, who remains standing are still the same old ppl smiling at you
ppl who you can always turn to no matter wat
maybe its the heart at work. but i think very few ppl can be added on to this list
its a wonder how words can leave ppl happy yet lost at the same time,
not knowing wat to do
there're some decisions which i made this yr
some of which i spent alot of thinking on and of course, feel sad over them too
but standing at the finishing line,
i guess thats wat life's abt
some things we just have to let go and let God
i'm innocent
--


i'm the only living person on this earth who hasnt started work yet
MAN when am i going to start?!
someone please tell me?!
i am all too prepared alr
if they dun need ppl, please just tell mee
then maybe i can move on n search for another one
i dont like this feeling of being left to wait n worry
-

as the last few days of this yr pass by
theres so many things tt i want to do n get
God,
if others can have them, i, your princess can have them too right??
-i pod
-black leather sneakers frm converse
-bag
-flip wallet frm QUIKSILVER or RIPCURL (:
-slippers
-watch
i think i need these stuff more den i want them
i believe in miracles! do you?


yea. this's frm rachel teng's blog. rachel teng (:

Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself and they gotta be true.Come up with 5 FALSE statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of possibility.Jumble all of them up and list them in any order. Post in your blog and let people guess which are fake. Get 5 others to do the same.Here we Go!

#1 i love drinking fruit juices
#2 where i want to go now is switzerland
#3 when i'm down i dun feel like sharing it with anyone
#4 i like rice
#5 i prefer long hair to short hair
#6 i've always wanted to learn the piano
#7 i used to be not straight
#8 i want braces
#9 i want to adopt kids in the future
#10 i love nuts
#11 guns are cooler den high heels
#12 i believe in love at first sight
#13 i cant spend one whole day just sitting in frnt of the comp
#14 i'm attracted to jig saw puzzles
#15 i've thought of wearing a tux for prom
#16 sweets mean more den chocs to me
#17 for some reason,the past always seems happier den the prsent
#18 living in a big hse is so cool
#19 i like cows
#20 i enjoy dancing in the rain n getting dirty while having fun

5 lucky people to do this:
1) sandy
2) evan
3) hansheng
4) sheree
5) althea
these 5people have to guess which 5 are wrong. others please feel free to do so too
haha, now is You guys' turn





let my saviour pull you through

HELLO. I LOVE SANDY LOTS (:

24th Dec'06

its christmas eve today
the world's having tonight, its gona have fun tonight

after a heavy day ytd, i dragged my heavy feet back hme late in the night.hoping for some smiles and joy.what have i done to deserve this?
there was no violence but words do Kill if you realise.and they pierced right thru my heart
it seems lyk the harder i try, the stronger the devil grows
why are so many things against me?i really do try very hard. who believes?
who sees it all? really, tell me
-

talking abt the happy stuff,
i woke at 7 ytd morning and met PAMela (:
we saw pierre png acting on the way and she was totally amused by the crew thing
it was so early in the morning tt None of the shops were open
so we just sat down n talked alot
after wlking back n forth to the cinemas for about 4 times
it finally opened
and i duno wat was wrong with me
but i watched Two movies ytd
very nice indeed, and very money consuming
i am Really Broke now
i spent my time dwn at the cinemas watching Eragon with pam
hey you, thanks for everything n anything
you're one of God's greatest gift to me
--
met elana tan n her big grp of friends n family
i was so confused at first
but they're Really Nice ppl. and interesting too
and yes, i had fun in the midst of it all(:
theres her friends, nancy, li zhen, alvin, melissa, eileen, nazel and her cousins cassie, vann, sam
oh yes and aunty too
did i leave anyone out??
we watched Night at the museum tgt, it was so funny!
NICE, go catch tt if you havent watched it

merry christmas eve,
i'm off for service




You said that You'll protect me

22nd Dec'06

i went caroling today
and Boy, it was Super FUN (:
i was so scared at first cause i've never been to any practice
plus tt 'white christmas' song which we hav to sing
i never heard it before in my life
its rrly fun singing and smiling around
most importantly, Spreading the Love and Joy
it touched me deeply how a few simple songs can actually tell stories of love
and when a few of them cried,
it made me want to cry too
i felt so warm n happy inside.
isnt it so Amazing? (:
i want to do Somemore Caroling!
we had a free lunch in the hospital today
and its My first time eating Turkey (:
tasted lyk chicken anyway
haha
-
after tt, the soon sisters n i roamed ard Bugis
for wat reason, we arent sure either haha
we cldnt find my bombshell.
argh, i dun lyk hunting for bombshells
somehow the shopping centres seem to play 'white christmas' in unison today
i like that song(:
tonight,
i shall stay hme for dinner after so long
plus the nxt few days, i'm sure i'll be hme late
the soon sisters n elana are Slogging n preparing for the christmas party
i'm looking forward to seeing spongebob!
haha sorry for not being able to help today
--

elana's been telling me lots of stories abt work
i think its gona be Super tough
with all the washing and cleaning, maybe 5 bucks isnt tt worth it
but i'm ready to work for the money
i Cant wait to join Elana tan for work

oh yea, PAMELA is back frm Japan ((:
aye. its been a week lar my Dear Friend
you hav no idea how much i miss you
and your phone calls in the aiport made me smile alot
remember our Date. Remember!
i'm all yours after christmas n you're all mine!

-

and so, christmas is coming
i guess its still not too late to
Get up n try to reach out again
this time, i hope its something different

i'm off



many things are left better when unsaid

19th Dec'06

yo world,
i was almst the happiest person on earth
and i still am
cause i've got a job ((:
and its with elana tan ((:
it doesnt matter if i'm the one starting early or late
cause elana, i rrly understand and i really dun blame you at all
-
i tried really hard okay
i want the whole world to noe THAT
this morning, in order to please my mum
i did Ironing and took an extra effort in tidying my bed
you see you see
and God answered my prayers
He's been really really good to me
i managed to pass the stages of assuring my mum n dad almst effortlessly
ThankYou so much
this job means a Whole lot to me you know
really, dun underestimate the power of praying
i used to, but not anymore
--

my uniform is Huge
i tried it the moment i came hme and wow
the whole hse laughed haha n elana looked so funny too
lets laugh tgt man, so much for laughing at other ppl
now i'll be the entertainment of others
haha


40 more mins to my brother's birthday
i might as well do smth real nice
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO
and your present is in my bag
happy searching!




let me teach you how to smile

17th Dec'06

please Just take me away to somewhere Perfect
am i a good sister?
i think i try hard enough
but at the end of it all
it seems like i'm the victim of Everyting and Anything
and cant you see that this is really Very Irritating
RAHHHHHHH
i hope i let out enough for me not to explode inside

but thanks anyway
liyun and weide thanks for caring
it meant alot
i'm not dead yet. so dont worry

16th Dec'06

yo world.
now that i'm finally back, it seems lyk all tt i've been waiting to shout out (because of my happiness) have disappeared.
ever since this morning, time seems to be ticking by so slowly
but in a very pleasant way
this is very unlike the many days i've spent in china

well, its not tt the past few weeks have been torture
Except for the fact tt i had Diarrhoea for 4 days
it was Terrible ):
i dunno wat i ate but i bombed lyk 7 times within 5 hours
it was a living hell man, roaming in the cold with a painful stomach
and except for the fact tt i've to struggle with that fear every night in the hotel room
my bro's scared you see. if i'm scared too, who's gona be the braver one?
OH YAR all the bus journeys were so longg too
i've been through 4/5/6 hours in the bus/train/ship
with all those Excess time i have
i spent it all on daydreaming and imagining
just picturing cell(: schoolmates and Everything
really everything
i've even decided in my heart lyk, "when i come back frm china, this is where we're gona play n have fun"
and everything, and now that i'm back, it seems lyk i cant rmb anything anymore
HAHA
hmm, just noe tt i really missed everyone terribly the past 16 days
and Thanks for missing me too
haha i mean, i know that i've a place in your hearts
its makes me really happy and greatful (:

i think i complain too much
in china
i saw Snow falling from the sky (:
i've seen it several times on the ground but never frm the sky
thank you God, for your beautiful creation
i've seen scenaries after scenaries and they're all really Amazing
-
and Thank You dad, for bringing me along on this trip
though i'll never say this to you personally
the train/plane/that 5-star ship thing which we spent 4 days in
i Believe it must have cost a BOMB to bring someone lyk me to china
its not just the money alone
i'm sorry too for my lousy mood which you put up with most of the time
-
in China.
i saw many Beggars too
here comes the painful part
that feeling really stings. Especially when they are only 5 to 6 years old
Man. we Must really form our own mission team when we grow up
soon li, pamela, elana, sarah, hehh den we'll go to Zimbabwe, thailand, africa, cambodia and so many more other places
i want to save the world

--

so holiday's over,
its Really seriously time to look for a job
CHIRSTMAS is coming (:
i have great plans on having Big FUN



the world is having fun tonight

30th Nov'06

hello world,
i had a tough time falling asleep last night
and this morning i woke super early
i have a hunch that i'll zonk out in the plane later
to be honest, i feel quite guilty over the sending off thing
though i duno who's coming
it may be small but Thank You so much
(:
today's the day of PROM!
i wonder how'll everyone look
SOON LI-i am waay behind you and am supporting you okay (:
ELANA-fiona says that you're pretty and fiona doesnt lie (:
last night, i received msges frm different ppl
i'm gona miss so many ppl
perhaps its good entertainment on the plane
PAM-you've got a friend in me. i Like the way our friendship works, though i dun see you a hundred n million years, i know that you'll still be the same. ur msg brought a Big Fat smile on my face last night(:
SANDY-you've a place in my heart and i understand. dun feel bad abt today if you're not ard or wat. and i'm seeing sandy wong alive yea? *Big HUG*
HANSHENG-hello(: please take good care of yourself and i'll be back soon!

bringing all the memories along with me

29th Nov'06

it was all so perfect until you stepped in and ruined it All
sometimes the person 'closest' to you can be the biggest danger
i dun understand how or Why all you ever manage to scooped out of your mouth is a disgusting form of Insulting language
ARGH you really Drive me Crazy lar.
this is not what i want to blog in here.
but here i am Trying so hard to love. and am alr starting to so much
and there you are. this is really Insane. you're making my emotions go haywire
tell me, just Tell ME. this is so shit.
and it makes me drag tmr even more.
when all i want to do is to have fun and rrly enjoy n appreciate all ur sacrifices.
i'm really really SORRY.
but aiya. what can i do?
-

yo World!
ytd was really Awesome
i spent time with part of my cell just playing basketball in the morning
liwen, sandy, hansheng, bryan, elana and yi yang too!
i hope i didnt miss anyone out?
it was really fun
for the past few days we've been playing bball and i hope to join Everyone when i'm back!
hopefully everyone wont be too good for me den Haha
and i am still Very Amazed by Tan Hansheng who scored a shot half-court!
oh my gosh. i really wonder how you did that?!
maybe its a lucky shot, but stilll, it was so Woah
haha

after bball, went over to junling's hse
junling n joby, aha my two good friends whom i met since..pri one in a day care dwn at amk
i thought i won the battle when they finally agreed to cancel plans for watching a scary movie
but No. they switched plans to swimming at Junling's condo
everyone noes that i'm a duck which cannot swim
i fought and i protected myself as much as i could
but i still failed haha
and they dun even care what i was wearing in the pool lar.
they just pushed me in
my Friends are Evil people
but it was fun though
cause sad to say, these two ladies are so pleasant despite the way they treated me
i duno why
-


TODAY.
i went out with shrooms and after so long,
we finally found my pants!
i have two really Comfy pants now haha
i noe its quite pathetic but Nevermind (:
den soon li n hansheng came along
and we signed up for so many jobs
theres bound to be one tt accepts us
i cant wait to Work (:
it sounds so cool n fun

ALRIGHT, actually what i really feel lyk doing now
is to say a few words to a few ppl
i think i'm gona miss this place real badly
i havent rrly allowed myself to face with my feelings abt going to china
its not a bad place though i'm gona miss all the fun n exciting thing
and although i rrly Hate to be put out of my comfort zone,
this is still, not a torture trip for me anyway.
i'll try my best to love this thing
come on, it aint that bad
-

i cant type anymore cause my mama's nagging
but before i go,
SOON LI WEN, HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY (:
and HO JUNLE TOO
okay, i'm off
bye everyone!
please dun forget me

now i know whats important to me

26th Nov'06

the music's playing, the atmosphere's changing
after today, i'm challenged to do smth abt my own prayer life
i wasnt in the mood for basketball
neither was i in the mood to be at my grandpa's place
i'm sorry. i didnt mean to lie
but i just changed my mind after tt
and i turned pamela dwn on our deal of roaming ard the airport today
sorry. and what you did was really comforting.
thank you so much.
nothing's wrong
but i guess i just wanted to be alone
its the feeling of feeling so empty and yet you dunno the reason behind it
but as i was sitting at the empty mrt station
i felt God telling me, "this is how backsliders feel. this is how those ppl who draw themselves away frm church feel"
maybe thru the past few days, i've learnt to be able to understand why others are less committed to church
its such a tough fight actually
but i'm glad that Jesus's the centre of my life
-

on the brighter side,
my 'uncle' came ytd and he gave my bro PS2
aha, which means i get to play too (:
forget abt xbox, this is As Fun
and i'm secretly laughing cause theres no one to fight for the comp with me now
oh yea, i was online the other day
and bryan sent me this

he did it himself you noe.
big CLAP (:

anyhow, i'm off

no weapon form against me shall prosper

25th Nov'06

hey WORLD.
ytd, i roamed the streets with jue and althea to search for gowns.
frm expo to bugis to somerset to orachard,
my legs were killing me
i Thought searching for gowns wld be so much fun and excitement
but ho, No haha
it was quite a troublesome issue
but ALTHEE looked so nice in the gown (:
you've got the figure n height man, just need to be more girly tts all
i think prom's gona be filled with so much fun
i feel so excited for everyone!


just look at this, 90 Degrees up! haha okay lar, i too, do that




JUE (:
-


i AM going for service tonight (:
and i'm gona enjoy my next few days here before i fly off
i'm gona miss EVERYONE
):




deep, blue sky

23rd Nov'06

-went to apply for a job this morning
-east coast with a grp of ppl
-bladded
-sat at yck mrt station and talked with jue for so long today

everything seems to be going on rather fine
but i think i'm a lil confused
and worried of wats to come
they say that sometimes one's mood changes as the night approaches
maybe its true




a leaning shoulder

21st Nov'06

give me a high-five
how does it feel to like to be..fiona?
it was so horrible in sch today
oh Man. i really dunno where i'll land next year
i just noe that i feel so sorry, towards my form teacher
so suprising huh, but i guessed wat he said to me rrly made me feel so..weird on the inside
for a moment, i felt lyk a Bad testimony
-

after THAT, i went to vivo with audrey and hazel (:
smth kindof screwd up cause our 'clique' outing was reduced to three ppl haha
AnyHow, we stopped at pastamania for a meal.
and Now i am Broke alr.
i really wish tt my dad wldnt arrange for a holiday. cause all the worries are piling in. for one reason, i noe i wont get any allowance for Two Whole weeks. and for another, i cant get a job. and to add on, i'm gonna miss church n cell. which Means, i'll have to survive spiritually well on my own. which is kindof tough nowadays. realy.
but den again, i think i complain too much.
i know daddy cares for ME and US.
thats why we're going for sucha Long holiday. thats why he chose not to have a car and save up. and thats why you dun want mummy to work. all the sacrifices you made, i've seen it.
but i just Really Dont Know how to show my appreciation.
and to tell the truth, the building fund really makes me very very guilty.
cause you guys give me money to eat and have fun. but tts not wat i'm doing.
i'm actually doing smth tts against your will.
i feel so guilty and at times, terrible.
yet at the same time, i know that i can trust in God too.
i'm a Dilemma.
i just pray tt i can get a job after my hols Real soon.
and den maybe, i'll work Every Single day for a long period of time.
--

i got kindof carried away somewhere at the top.
so anyhow, we went to vivo.
and just lyk wat everyone said, its really Huge there
theres so much to see.
we stopped ourselves from playing at the playground cause of our sch Uniform
aha, there were so many children around
and i bumped into so many ppl today.
rachel lim, angeline aw and her clique, janice, michelle, amos, pris
wow, thats alot of ppl for one day
after exploring almst everywhere, i think
we went to orchard for a short while
it was so empty there
haha maybe vivo attracted to much ppl
we saw so many gowns today.
Hmm, gona go with jue and althea to see gowns on fri
i Hope we get smth out of it.
haha cause we're all so..not girl enough.
need to drag an Expert queen along
i Want to go for PROM
but nevermindd, two years dwn the road i will (:
--

tmr is wednesday. gona meet jue to cut our hair.
i wonder how is Miss Sarah Lee doing somewhere out there.. haha i forgot where she's off too.
HK and..somewhere Nice
aha
i saw xbox 360 at toys'r'us today
if only my bro gets one for his birthday
den, i can play with him
i need a new wallet, bag, jeans, belt
i wish, i wish for so many things
am i materialistic?
i hope not
-

you noe, when you hear a song long enough,
it starts playing thru ur head again and again
and what i really feel on the inside now is
angels taught me how to smile
thankyou God for everything.
for anything and everything




down at a corner, someone's praying

17th Nov'06

"this is the air, that is the glorious sun!" -shakespeare

IT IS OVER
:D
all over! over! over!
i can hardly believe it
though the day didnt ended well ytd
it ended all with a huge bang frm Chemistry
which i Put most of wat i am Into
and the paper was rrly tough, i think i screwd it up real badly
but after everything, despite that heaviness thats still lingering ard the corner,
the Smile just cldnt stop surfacing
:D
i cant believe that we're all free
-

looking back, it was just weeks or maybe even less den two weeks that i got so close to my books
espcially Literature
so many quotes which i've never bothered to memorized are now stuck in my head
"present mirth hath present laughter, whats to come is still unsure"
"if ever thou shalt love, in the sweet pangs of it', remember me"
and so much more!
i never thought i wld miss this Subject
and studying practically Became a bonding session for Me and all of us
gradually, our studying grp Grp Bigger
frm althea n me, to plus Gradys, sheress, rachel, christabel, and even Soon li, AnnAnn
wow, and its amazing how God did it all
there was so much fun in the midst of it
that now looking back,
i feel SO Nostalgic
arhh
i rmb theres once when i rang Althee and asked her wat she was doing
she went: looking at the class picture
and i laughed at her for being so emo
but after putting dwn the phone,
i went to look at it
so many pretty faces, where to go in life?
God has brought us tgt, i cant help but feel so Loved
by so many ppl around me
i'm so Blessed
so so Blessed that i didnt even noe it
--

we had steamboat ytd
and we ate so many half-cooked chicken!
haha but it was quite Fun (:
aye! i cant wait for the 'who-gets-a-boyfriend-first' deal
cause it'd be interesting tt we all Eat tgt smth Delicious again
haha
--

a few days ago, i received a msg frm someone so near yet so far
layho
yes, remember layho?
i cant help but few smth pleasant yet a lil bitter at the same time
i sincerely pray that God's love will reach All the way out and fall upon her once again
the journey restarts!
and since its after the exams, i think i'm gona commit my time to diff ppl and my diff responsibilities
and make sure it goes well
theres smth abt church that always reflects in my mind
that, in church, you dun have to worry abt graduation or saying goodbye, cause we'll be 'close' 'forever'
i guess that Really really explains why all the PLs are so close
but when we all leave, we the sec fours
wats to become of it?
Prayer, i reallyReally wana see a Big Huge revival sweeping through my sch
--

things that i wanna do! :
-start on kat's bible study (its been delayed for lyk one year plus. my fault)
-overnight cycling at east Coast!
-spend long-lost time with Joby and Junling
-work
-join Childrens' Church
-continue bible study
-wild wild wet!
aiya, so much! i cant possibly write all dwn
(X
i feel lyk a dove thats released after so long





heaven is such a beautiful place

11th Nov'06

hey World
almost half the battle is gone!
while i see some around me depressed over screwd-up papers
there're also those who are Happy almst every single day
i guess i'm kindof trapped in between
-
but THANKYOU GOD,
for all that YOU have done in my life
thankyou for always letting me realise the solutions to some questions during the exams, even thought its lyk the last five to ten minutes
and Thankyou for sustaining all of us too (:
because of this exam, i Learnt how to lean more on You and not Myself
some tell me tt their secret to scoring well is that,
they pray more den they study
not literally, but the intensity is Much greater den studying
i've not fully arrive to that extend
but i know oh God that YOU're with me
it has been tough,
but frm this, i drew a greater experience out of it
(:

--

friendships that are built on solid rocks,
i know they'll stand
even Ten years frm now,
we'll still be the SAME (:
--

Whats' Left:
mon-literature
tues-A maths P1
wed-physics
thurs-chem, A maths P2

No more!




"Alas, our fraility is the cause, not we, For such as we are made, if such we be"

1st Oct'06

i Promise with all my heart tt i Wont get a Boyfriend until after JC2
haha
and because of that, i wont be the one treating everyone to this chinese restaurant, "ding tai feng"
someone else will have to do it!
i cant wait to EAT there (:

26th Oct'06

hey world,
i've been heading to the airport to study lately
haha i noe its rrly far and it seems kindof insane to travel all the way there
but its rrly nice there (:
the atmosphere is Beautiful and so is the smell of pastries
HAHA
i like (:
plus the company
Pam and Sheena, one my P5 n 6 Bestie (:
and the other, coconut who makes me laugh a retard (:
and since i'm not the only who travels All the way just to study there, why not?
-
after Weeks of studying at the same place,
i concluded tt A level students are Superb hardworking
everytime i'm there, i see the same old ppl
and they are so hard Core!
its lyk they appear whether rain or shine, without fail
the only thing tt actually changes is their clothes
-
its been rrly fun Observing ppl
and theres this particular guy with rrly Beautiful eyes and fine eyebrows
hmm
so pretty. if only more ppl have these define features
but den again, i guess tts wat makes him stand out
haha

--

i want it so badly that i think i can almst taste freedom already
they gave us our class photos tgt
and oh boy, all the emotions just start to pour in
as we pass ard our photographs to our fellow PL lites to sign on them
arh
all the studying time cld very well be in exchanged of time thats filled with laughter n fun, with so many ppl
i made a pact with shrooms tgt, signing off with the touch of our little finger
arh
i guess i and we just have to except the fact tt Some ppl appear and Go
some ppl appear and they are here to stay
some appear, and no matter how hard you want to keep them,
they just leave
the third is the saddest of all lar
but i think tts life
and isnt a bed of roses aint it?
--

oh yea, physics prac was rather bad
i thought i pulled it off as an average
but after all the compraing, oh welll
i hope chem will be good
Please Please PLEASE
were locked up in class for almst FOUR whole hours today,
just doing nth
but only waiting as the others sit for their prac papers
and there was Free MACS!
ahaha, tts the only advantage
cause the sch was celebrating on our autonomous status
still, the burger had no cheese n the apple pie was so soggy lar
Milo was Perfect (:
simply because it was packet-ed
aha
--

i think i'm off to study soon
and after everything, we'll see smiles on everyone's pretty faces
just you wait and see





and now i'm here to stay, cause love can be so boring

13th Oct'06

love taught me not to hate
it taught me to accept and smile
love showed me what it means to be a true friend
it empowered jealousy and self-centeredness
love directed the path
and made me feel Loved,
in return
--

everything recently is realy going pretty fine,
but it just seems lyk theres this empty hollow feeling
thats lingering on the inside
i thought i was the only who is insane
but surprisingly, Mk told me she felt the same
maybe its just Us
but life's a beau-thats what everyone says
for every lil thing tts happening
i find myself questioning more n more
"why is it always like this? its always an anti-climax"
not that i'm depressed or really upset over smth
but its just everything that goes round
for a moment i thought i was the only idoit, being toyed around with so many diff issues
and then i thought again, and realised that i wasnt the only one

-



and when we finally get together, it will be for eternity