“No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. You’re going to hurt people. You’re going to get hurt”

saw this on anna's blog.
i realised that i always end up feeling drained emotionally after hearing many out for one whole day.
one after another, they come.
but NO, it isnt a chore to me. and i really want to be there.
i need to Expand my own capacity.
and, i didnt forget. you didnt seem to rmb about it either, i thought, i was the only willing party.
im Sorry, i failed to be that understanding person.
much as i tried, i know i cant be perfect too.
i know that once in awhile, everyone will feel the downs.
but being in this positions sucks.
looking back a little,
i really dislike the position of having a few ppl to look out or takecare of my emotions
it makes me out of the position in other situations where the people around me are upset instead.
i, want to expand my own capacity.
theres no need to cry. or why do we always fall so easily?
Daddy's right here with me.
so i should be leading every battle on the frontline instead,
fighting upfront Brave and Strong.

hold me now and never ever let me go.

i just read Ms G's blog.
i LOVE my literature teacher Alot.
i wish i have the guts to go up to her and give her a big hug to express my gratitude and tell her how much her life has been an inspiration to mine.
and the many other lit students out there in many different ways.
but im Stiff.
most of the time, i dont express my emotions inside out.
i tend to hide them instead.
and seeing Ms G around in school, all i can do is flash that stupid Sheepish shy "hello" smile.
i Admire how she can be so happy everyday despite her circumstance.
i Respect her for her bravery and her courage to reamin Postive.
i Love the fact that she didnt care if others accepted her or not, her accepting herself was what that mattered most.
i think, she's an Angel.
thank you so much, for appearing in my life (:

i, want to tell you that i Believe in you.
please start believing in yourself.
a little is Not enough.
what is your status? really, you're a Prince in God's kingdom.
of ROYALl Blood.
in the great Grand Kindom.
and in Daddy's eyes, you are Perfect inside out.
it really doesnt matter if you're different.
if you're a flawed piece of work, then all the fault would lie in the creator wouldnt it?
maybe its easy for me to speak because im not the one going through this.
but, i do believe in you.
you got to start loving yourself as much as Daddy does.
love, His workmanship- YOU.
i think you're Beautiful (:

we had prayer meeting ytd.
start, adopting people into your lives.
i feel so Burden.
but this burden, is a good burden.
so many people, so many lives.
its one of the reasons why i shouldnt stop praying.
how can i speak without showing, without doing something?
i dont want to be passive and just sit back doing nothing.
thats foolery, thats hyprocrisy.
i decided not to be lenient with myself anymore,
this strictness. i really need to get moving and stop harping on the situation.

--

saw a big group of guys outside school ytd with i was out heading to the mama shop with ah soon.
apparently, they were preparing for a gang fight.
so EXCITING.
haha okay Not.
but ive never witnessed a fight before.
and though it was scary, it was as Exciting too.
but of All people, stupid beng just had to appear there.
i wish i could do something to drag him back into school and make him sit down in front of his books.
but i didnt have that ability.
its weird how people think these issues are cool.
its even weirder how that "brotherhood" term works where gang fights are involved.
i felt like a detective, hiding behind cars and peeping at the group of guys.
but ah soon just had to stand behind me and keeping nagging on and on.
but dont you see that its exciting?! i mean, you dont get to witness this kindof stuff everyday.
she had to leave for band. and she wasnt the least bit interested.
AH. ):
but i dont think any major fight broke out in the end.
Thank GOD.
well, i hope not. i hope beng doesnt get into trouble.

Angel came over to our school before pm ytd.
i like this beautiful homely feeling.
where all of us gather in school, just to study together or talk.
this few months that we're left with to spend together,
i really want to treasure them.
i think Daddy has really placed me in a loving family,
PL and SR,
thank you Jesus, so Much. for taking care of me (:
i miss PL. but i shall concentrate more on enjoying the time i have left in sr instead of missing the past.
haha
and NIC,
thank you for everything too, your presence and desire to care.
--

oh YES, okay, back to the books.
OH MAN.
)':

i have, set my goals.
HMM
maths-C
GP-D
Literature-C
History-D
Econs-E

thats how many points??
haha i havent counted because i forgot how the couting system goes about.
okay, i hope they arent too high nor too low.
lesmana! theres my goals.
:D
alrightey,
my books are calling out to me.
I LOVE THEM!


your love tells me that, "everything's going to be just fine."