it started out as a feeling.
which then grew into a hope.

"the call" by regina spektor is running through my head.

just because everything's changing,
doesnt mean its never been this way before.
--

this weekend,
my saturday is one big empty slot
(:

couldnt make it for shirlene's birthday lunch because of bs with daphne.
but it was postponed till tmr.
cancelled plans to head to town with eevel.
as well as studying with gradys today.
MANN.
i hope im making the right choice today.
i just want to,
isolate myself from everything and really sit down and concentrate on my own to study.
but at the same time,
theres also a possibility that i'll end up slacking my whole day alone.
some days turn out productive
while some days dont.
AND.
this feeling of nostalgia whenever i coop myself up alone to study comes in.
thoughts of having fun and catching up..
haha, okayy im so contradicting.
oh WELL.
isolation is good good good.
and so the psycho-ing begins.

i shall catch up with eevel Really soon some other day
when i manage to have some control over my books.
oh, and yes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIRLENE (:

--

'been doing CIP in the library for two days already.
its pretty fun actually
though it gets boring at times.
and seeing familiar faces giving me this absurd expression like,
"what in the world are you doing behind the counter?!"
Haha.
but i've learnt how to process books! and wrap them up with care as well.
being a librarian is pretty interesting.
(:
im, gonna miss our current librarian when she leaves.

these two weeks,
true to be told its tiring.
and i keep trying to remind myself that "its okay".
this chanting has been going on a Zillion times in my head already.
i know that i know that Jesus is still here no matter what.
but sometimes in the midst of the day,
the actions that reveal imperfections of mankind keep showing.
its Alright thoughh,
i really want am going to take one step at a time.
fasting this week hasnt been easy, but i know that im heading somewhere.
slowly but surely,
its gonna be easy to ignore these hurt the inflict unknowingly.
i too, need to be more magnanimous.
not just to forgive those around me, but myself too.
and, i need more openness as well.
to be honest with myself.

Alrighto,
today is just me, my guitar and dear books.
(:
maybe im meeting gradys later.
either way,
dear God, please make today productive.

gonna check out the cc near my hse later.
praying for a small but beautiful and nice gym to be spotted there!

i wish though,
that im a little less sensitive about things.
and able to let go as easily as others around me.

there's no need to say goodbye.

this one's from PORK.
(:


ist out the top 5 birthday present that you wish for:

1. LOVE, both receiving and giving.
2. Courage.
3. faith
4. understanding
5. strength

#1 The person who last tagged you is:
- CHERYL

#2 Your relationship with him/her is:
- cell mate, church mate, fellow PORK mate (:

#3 Your 5 impressions of him/her:
- strong, willing to serve God, smart, but mischeivous and sometimes stubborn too.
HAHA woopps (:

#4 The most memorable thing he/she has done for you:
- that little cute card which she placed in my bag secretly last week(:

#5 The most memorable word he/she has said to you:
- "you are a very warm girl" OKAYY, i feel SHY.

#6 If he/she becomes your lover, you will:
- ER, not possible. but i'll love her as my sister in christ always (:

#7 If he/she was your lover, a few things he/she has to improve on will be:
- ERM, be bold enough to make a difference in our cicumstances!

#8 If he/she becomes your enemy, you will:
- it'll never happen.haha

#9 If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
- wont ever happen (:

#10 The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:
- secret!

#11 Your overall impression of her is:
- same as question 3 whaat!

#12 How do you think about how people around you will feel about you:
- i dont know, more positive than negative ones i hope.

#13 The character you love about yourself are:
- i guess, listening more than talking.

#14 On the contrary, things that you hate about yourself are:
- to sum it all up, passiveness.

#15 The most ideal person you want to be is:
- a little of angelina jolie:adopting kids and so cool and filled with that independent spirit at the same time.
mother teressa(:
HMM

#16 For people that care about and like you, say something to them:
- thank you, for just staying by my side.i apprciate it Alot.

#17 Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you

HMM, i have no idea. maybe lana, claudy, liyun, nic, pam, char? haha whoever who wants to do it willingly la (:
--