i look up to my pastor alot(:
feel so greatful to have such a wonderful spiritual father.

had a talk about some cell stuff.
thought a whole lot.
but i know that distance makes the heart grows fonder.
this isnt the end, its just a new beginning.
im already missing and learning to love them so much more
(:
as what potty mentioned about the quote ytd,
"Shakespeare hates your emo poems"
meaning, being emo isnt cool or anything nice at all!
YES, thou shall be happy come what may.
i am in fact, quite Excited too.
(:

studied with shiyu at the airport just now.
MAN, he bought one big box of chocolates!
and there goes my diet plannn.
spent quite awhile laughing at his class pic!
HAHA.

im so tired!
slept in the bus and my head was slightly resting on the aunty's shoulder who was sitting beside me.
think she got so irritated with me.
OOPS. i was so Embarrassed!


your voice, was the soundtrack of my summer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to..
CLAUDY, AQIDAH!
and coming soon, LIONEL!

we are all turning legally Eighteen really soon.
:D

a very happy claudy with her presents! :



OH, the sunflower's Not hers!
it was for Aqidah!
haha
but i think both of them have been very Surprised by us
feeling Happy (:



worked till 2:30 Am for this,
pretty satisfied with the outcome (:

--

met potty early!
to search for Aqidah's present (:
discovered this really Pretty shop which sells my WORM KEYCHAIN!
this Superb cute worm in a sweater.
thought of getting it for someone but i was so Broke.
shall return some other time (:
got Aqidah a pretty Big sunflower, think it suits her much (:
celebrated and picnic-ed at the river outside esplanade.
photos are with, claudyyyy.



GYM-ed in the morning today with tofu!
we saw her primary school crush there and she was trying hard to avoid him
so we ended up jogging at the nearby stadium.
it was so Empty
we had much Fun! (:
Stupid tofu even wanted so TAN at the stadium since he hasnt left the gym.
thank goodness she gave in in the end.
i cant really feel the strain in my arms yet but predict that its gonna surface tmr.
went over to her house,
played dressing up!
i cant wait for my A's to end!

i wanna get a brand new mp3.
ive been so lonely on rides home ever since it died on me.
):







what made God take so much care,
to make creation glow?

He could have made it black and white
and we had never known.

my arms feel SORE from yesterday's workout!
i dream of having... ...
ABS!
haha
it is Good to dream.
because it gives you direction in life.
im looking forward to our next visit on sat
(:

been staying back to study recently.
but time flies so FAST.
im not even studying much everyday.
dear time, please slow down!

hall was Freezing-ly COLD today.
i almost turned into an ice cube during lit.
with purple-d fingers and sitting in my big comfy jacket,
i fell asleep for so long.
i seriously Need to stop sleeping during exams!
Need more Motivation, Drive and Discipline too.
Gradys has been a great studying partner.
mm OKAY. i shall do my best so i can motivate and inspire her too!


im so TIRED.
i feel like SLEEPING.
i wanna dream of history, breathe history, think history.

so that tmr, i will be able to write one long essay at least.



good nights!

i went to the gym just now with joby.
was a little nervous because it was my first time!
saw a few really Muscular people over there
which made me went "Woahhhh" Scary!
we did the machines! and jogged round the park outside.
i feel accomplished today(:
cant wait for my next trip!

i just did something Superbly Embarrassing.
was planning for a friend's birthday.
ended up calling and speaking to the wrong person's mother over the phone
for about 5 plus minutes before realising it was the wrong mother!
no wonder she sound irritated.
i feel so Bad on the inside now.
want to return the call to Apologise but they dont wanna pick up my call anymore.
SORRRYY.
how now brown cowww? ):

i seriously need to sit down and STUDY.
my mind has been really distracted lately.
oh God, please help me.
Pride and Prejudice is so Interesting.
i am currently reading at the portion where their love is at the PEAK!
mr darcy and elizabeth's love-- SIGHH.
more mr darcys in this world Please!
--

was just reading chruch's HARVEST TIMES,
Pst Phil Pringle's message on The Holy Spirit and his personal encounter with it.
he was having an altar call in his church and was going to pray for the people when he had an encounter:

"As i walked down the steps to the first row, i saw a person just behind the first row with His back towards me. His arms were outstretched and He was whispering comforting words to the people in the second row that He was facing.
i could see Him cupping around each person as He moved along the row. He reminded of a bird protecting its young with is fathers.
He knew i was looking at Him and He turned. i saw the side of His face. His eyes looked mournful, yet joyful (because of the new salvations). His face gloomed with light. His hair was longish, a blonde-white colour.
He caught my eye and greeted me. He simply said, "Hi." The He was gone-- from my natural sight at least. I stood there smiling to myself, awed.
this experience left me immobile, unaboe to speak or move for some time. i understood then that the Holy Spirit is with us, enabling powerful ministry to people. He is our Helper. He helps us fulfill our calling from God."

i was so Amazed when i read it.
so COOL indeed.
(:

i want to have a personal holy encounter tooo.

last night was really horrible.i curled up in bed and waited for what seemed like eternity for the holy spirit to come and console me. but it didnt come like a rushing wind or enter glamorously.
yet i knew he was there all along just sitting silently and listening to my sobs.i wept like a child. no, more desperately than a child. i was moaning and just pouring things out to Him.the things which happen at home, i am not strong enough to pull them off everyday.i can smile and laugh it off the next day, but overtime, sometimes i feel tired and so stretched in all the different areas. they question my faith, my practices and my beliefs. why is my own family condemning me? i know they love and care and like me they dont show it. how i wish i could take away my pride and express my love more openly. how i wish they would demonstrate their love more affectionately. i have no desire to share these issues with anyone in particular. i dont want others to start judging or forming opinions about this. its my own personal issue. oh Daddy, can you hear me? about this very aspect of my life. this area of concern in particular, can you hear me?

life is just like a movie.
there are snippets of sadness, joyful moments and of course, unforgettable ones too.


ive decided not to try to mould or shape myself to suit or please anyone anymore
but to just simply be myself.


my personal revelation for last week from Daddy:

"seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. And all these things shall be added unto You."

i desperately want to Lose weight!
desperately need a breakthrough in my studies
solve some problems socially, at home
and desperately want to make some money.

and among all these things, i really want to have a spiritual breakthrough as well.
to go higher and see deeper.
to be sure not just of my faith but also the faith which Daddy has in me as well.

but above all i know i need to get my priorities right.
and then all these things shall be added, they'll come naturally.


--

my classmates make me feel so nostalgic at times!
im feeling nostalgia for the future when i look back at my JC life cause' i know i'll be feeling that way!
we got our class jackets today.
i feel so HAPPY in it




saw this picture on Mai's blog.
i think its a pretty pic (:


I AM FINALLY GOING TO THE GYM TMR!!!!!

tofu's going with me!
because i am just to shy to step into a public gym all by myself for the first time.

I, shall start small.
shall aim to lose 3kg first!


was chatting with gradys the other day
and a whole lot of discussion,
we concluded that single-hood is the BEST.
yes amen!
(:




my weaknesses are perfected by You.

my sins are gone, i've been set free.
my God my Saviour has ransomed me.

unending love, unfailing grace.


i saw SHAWN __ today!
that guy in "i not stupid".
the blank above is there today because i forgot his surname.
haha.
blackspot and i were in the lib today when he walked over to our table.
turned out that his girlfriend was sitting at the same table as us.
):
but they are both really decent looking, good-student kindof look.
went to foodcourt for lunch and we bump into them again! their tables right next to ours.
and blackspot knows him personally, they're from the same school.
how small can this world get?
i know that he's from Bball!
cause' i saw him playing during our competition season before.
mmm i think he looks Great on tv!
haha okay i better stop.
i do Not crush him.
(:

blackspot is so RETARDED.
we sat opposite each other and everytime we look up and our eyes meet
she or i will pull/make some funny faces at each other.
i think she's the only person i make so Many funny faces to whilst studying.
Retarded Freak! haha (:
but she's so smart, i believe she can get the scholarship that she's aiming for.

studying hasnt been really good for me.
i am Scared.
all these Dates and Events and Facts and Graphs and Definitions are so Hard to remember.
i dont want to let so many people down.
and there are so many to whom i have to prove myself to.
its now or never. i better buck up.

studying in the lib wasnt productive for me today.
it was Freezing cold. and i couldnt think.
left early and blackspot stayed to study.
i hope to study with her againn SOOON.



SORRY.
and i miss you real Badly.
--

OH.
my guitar's new name is 'Little Enoch"
for the very simple reason,
Enoch's walk with God is really amazing.
(:


take me past the outer courts into the holy place.
past the brazen altar,
and see you face to face.

today,
i found a hurt and healed it.
found a need and met it.

but that person was a fellow believer.
im so glad to have such people around me.
though we arent in the same church i still feel that similar connection and vision.
more than willing to carry your mat like when you carried mine.
(:

studied a little with patson after school day.
(:

gradys is starting to cheer up a little
things are starting to look better on her side.
i hope this is here to stay.

im SORRY tofu,
for everything. thanks for being so understanding about
my school, exams and issues about my friends which bother me.
i feel like your my WIFEY and im the HUSBAND.
HA HA HA.
EEEEWWW.
see you Real Soon on sat :D


after a long day,
am feeling emotionally worn out.
but happy on the inside.
(:


good nights.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

--

JOGGED.
discovered this long stretch of running lane beside the huge canal and park at my house.
(:

kept dozing off today in the library.
how? ):

re-read about Samuel today.
he is so Cute!
if Daddy were to call me in this way,
i think id be such an honour for me.

OH did i mentioned that i watched "stage beauty" on youtube the other day?
"KEITH" will be next
:D


but you're already on your way.

am into the song "Feeling This" by Blink 182!
haha Yes, im slow.
the chorus keeps playing in my head over and over again.

fate fell short this time,
your smile fades in the summer.
place your hand in mine, i'll leave when i wanna.

--

i need some motivation,
some motivation.
someone to tell me that its still not to late and that
miracles do happen.

woke up from a very Bad dream last night.
evil spirits and ghosts haunt my dream ):
so CREEPY. but im so Glad that im up and wide awake right now.

made a wasted trip down to riverwalk ytd.
but its alright Pork, i dont blame you, its not your fault (:
took an almost 2 Hour long bus ride hme.
my GOSHH. and tofu was entertaining me throughout with nothing else but
Her singing.
):
hahaha.
i dream of so many things aft the A's!

im am turning YELLOW.
due to the lack of exercise and exposure to the sun.
hahaha okay i sound like a sick patient.
gonna meet FAT TOFU today.
we were Supposed to jog. ): ): ):
that LAZY BUM.





im lucky im in love with my best friend,
lucky to have been where i have been.
lucky to be coming home again.


someday,
All of my dreams will come true.


need to keep seeking and knocking and waiting.

close my eyes, shut my ears.
i hear no sound now, its peace at home alas.

had quite a good day with church and other related stuff.
Daddy, i miss you so Much.

think it more than just receiving revelations and seeing visions on my part.
the blessings dont count as much if i dont see the Blesser face to face.



Abba Father,
i wanna be yours and Yours Alone.

ive been suppressing much of my feelings recently.
perhaps its the studies stress and from what i get at home.
a particular someone came up to me some time this week,
its nice to know that you care but i Dislike it when all the wrong perceptions of me are being formed.
i rather you not care about me at all, for both the good and bad.
no wonder they say that there are some people whom you will really have that desire to be friends with. while others, it isnt the same.
i cant possibly befriend the whole world anyway can i?

sometimes i wish my life was more transparent.
E walked past and gave me a rough pat yesterday,
seeming to say "gear up your spirit"
thanks Much (:
it meant Alot to me.

our prayer group in the morning has grown.
(:
with the merging and all,
i feel Happy that we are all gathering tgt.

MM, am both Excited and Scared about prom.
after much persuasions and thinking for so long,
decided to join my class for it.
(:
MM, holiday doesnt clash with Prom
and this time,
im really looking forward to my holiday
and Enjoy the outside world!

Leila has gotten me all so Excited about TWILIGHT.
that romantic vampire story.
AH! i wanna do so Many things right now.
want to watch films like "Stage Beauty" and "the crucible" right Now too.
haha i think literature has gotten the better of me.
if only i score as high in it.

STUDYING.
ive been a little kindof off-track recently.
but, dont knoww. ):

heading to the lib with blackspot today
im determine to Conquer "challenges in southeast asia" !

everyone around me is on some kindof slimming down programme.
i Wish my heart and mind would just Stop craving for food!
but i dont wanna be slim, i wanna be Toned!
and having said that, i shall JOG today after my library session,
i PROMISEEE.



Jesus, i miss you.
come and sanctify my room, my heart, my life again.

that blow landed Hard.
i guess he wasnt aware of that.

wish i've got a heart that heals real fast.
wish for people who care,
but not too much till they interpret things differently.
for people who care. and then again for them not to care so much.
wish for listening ears but not those who form their own judgment when it ends.
wish my life was more transparent.

in short, God i just wish that theres an angel here on earth with me/for me/by me/to walk this route with me.

no one's perfect, and im not too.
--


HAHA okayy.
cheryl and hansheng just did something online that really made me smile.
THANK YOU (:


okay okayy,
"if not for yourself then for those around you"
guess it will be my personal motto for the rest of the year.

tomorrow will be a better day
(:

cause' its all right, theres nothing to stop us.
if it feels right, then everything's fine.
for just one night,
then you go back to your life and i go back to mine.






its 8pm, gonna go for my evening jog.
:D




"she sat like patience on a monument. and let concealment like a worm in 'th bud feed on her damask cheek".

im not here to say im sorry.
im not here to laugh at you.
im here to say im ready.

came home and i was so reminded of my greater calling and purpose.
excited for praise and worship tomorrow (:
its been quite awhile since i last played for cell.

cant believe my econs teacher spoke to w about my condition.
im touched by her worries and actions of concern. but also Scared about letting her down.

AH!
i feel like there are so many pairs of eyes watching me,
watching my grades falling and rising and vice versa,
watching my tutorials,
my studies, my behavior,
Everything.

i Musnt let them down, i cant.


if not for yourself, then for those around you.

cant remember when was the last time i had a good sleep.
people around be have been still falling sick.
it scares me how fast time can fly
and how we can seem to think that theres still much time to spare as each moment pass.

i know how it feels like to be the only one standing alone.
Thank You so much for being my firm support
dear God,
they dont understand.
and i know that no one's perfect.
Thank you for being Unfailing.
for being the strong arm which i can lean on
Always.


you become the meaning the of my life.

watched clips of the show tofu intro-ed to me.
i got so Grossed out by it :/

fever and headaches have spoilt my studying plans.

but i am better now,
only left with a cough.
thank JESUS for making me strong, i always recover fast (:

soon's still quite sick.
i hope she recovers soon.
Missed service today
and i know that the sermon's exceptionally good ):
the buffering was so bad online that i couldnt watch it,
its okayy, shall watch next week since they'll load it up on the website!

H had a breakthrough.
i am nothing else but Happy :D
for him!
and THANK YOU JESUS,
for giving me this chance again.
i miss giving bible studies and serving through simple ways in cell.
i miss those regular ppl i used to have for follow-up.
not that they are all bad,
but its just that their lives have been 'stagnant' for a long time now,
they need a breakthrough.
and i need a breakthrough too.
i Cant wait to start serving in my very own ministry again.
but for now,
people have been telling me
studies first, ministry can wait.

YAR.
so MUCH to study.
i dont know where to start ):
oh God, if only im half as smart as you.

PROM!
my family's going for holiday,
to TAIWAN. china again!
but, the date clashes with prom.
i Pray that it wouldnt be comfirmed yet.
if not, MAN.
its just like history repeating itself.
i couldnt make it for my sec four prom because we were away for holiday in China too.
AH.
not exactly excited about the prom dress and heels part
but more of the bonding and fun

HMMM,
have more important stuff to think about
come what may!


need some motivation.

so TIRED,

after a long school day.
with different surges of emotions coming from all directions.
i wish i could make my exam scripts look Prettier.
leaders' meeting just now was so Great.
i havent been so honest to both me and Daddy for so long.
shall blog more about it sometime soon.

for now,
goodnight, sleep tight,
dont let the bed bugs bite.
(:


just like one of those foreign beings misplaced in society.
i thought i knew enough, but apparently i do not.

i FAILED my MATHS.
):

but on a lighter note,
i managed an E for GP for the first time in so many months.
im just one point away from a D man!
didnt know talking about Nick Vujichic and Michael Jackson could help me pass it.
thank you Jesus! (:

caught up with ALTHEA today.
:D

read this great christian book called "the secret place" today.
MM, i realised that im so Far from perfection.

OKAY,
everyone's studying.

this is so Scary.
but i shall start being a Mugger too.



obedience brings blessings and rest.

you make it real for me.


wish i could start working at this point of time.
i'll slog my butts off and make Big money
so no one will be in the position to comment about anything.

ive gotten myself a Pretty moleskin notebook.
its my new diary come notebook for sermon notes.

wish i could fly to new york with tofu.
boy, do i need a break from everything.
-

want to invest in a particular series of books.
the first book starts with "twilight" (:
its time i start reading again
Love to read, but havent got the time to do so recently.

school reopens TMR.
i dread it.

think i better grab my study notes and start hogging coffee bean or the library again.
mm. realised that i study better with gradys and blackspot because they would monitor me.

grand mama's birthday tonight.
we are gonna eat CHICKEN RICE!
all the way at Boon Keng.
oh man,
OKAY. today i eat. and enjoy for the last few hours.
and when school reopens tomorrow, we'll cut the slack and the drilling shall begin.

TADA.


i wanna fall in love with You.

ive got too much to blog about.

oh, my family thinks that i've got a boyfriend.
HAHAHAHAHA.

got some of the pictures from Mai(:
everyone was squeezing so tightly, didnt even know who we took pictures with!
haha, spot us if you can.
ah soon and i were standing beside the principal in the second pic!

was listening to gradys share about the movie she watched - 4bia.
so Scary, it worked up my wild imagination last night.
i tried to control my bladder because it was so dark outside my room,
at 2AM!
but bladder was bursting, so that left me with no choice but to sprint back and forth.
--

really needed a moment with Daddy yesterday.
came home, locked myself in the room and had some private moment.





not alone anymore.

let it roll right off your shoulders,
dont you know the hardest part is over.

i was messaging ALTHEE in the day today,
YAY! we're gonna meet up pretty soon on the coming monday.
me cant wait (:

we went out to check out our class sweaters today.
im so Excited about it!
its gonna be WHITE with GOLD fonts (:
but it costs approximately 41 bucks,
gonna start saving up.
i'm so Darn BROKE.
):
went to check out at the bus terminal today,
carrying hopes of finding my long lost wallet.
but to no avail.
made me so Upset.
i dont understand. i mean, if I were the one who have found it, i would have returned it.
surely, there must be some good people existing in this world.
ive been refusing to make a new card or terminate my cards totally,
because i believe i'll find it eventually.
Yes, i know it sounds Dumb and Naive.
but, surely, there must be something more than this.

TOFU's starting school tmr.
HAW HAW, no more bumming around.
(:

--

MAN, all along
i didnt know that you smoke.
i guess, i have so much to work on now.

flames to dust.

after reading Althee's blog,
i decided to set my focus and priorities right.
to walk the talk and not just talk and talk about what i want to do in my own life.
the next time i share about my own issues,
it shall be of testimonies and not of my future "what- i -want- to- do" things.

its 10:30AM,
and with my current tummy ache and after reading her blog,
i decided to not head to the gym anymore.
Bomb, and i shall spend some time alone in my room
with just my guitar and God.

i want to focus on the right things,
for the right Reason.
not to please or prove to anyone reading this,
or not even to make myself feel better inside out.
no wonder they say that its really Difficult to have a pure heart.

please dont pass me by.


survey in school later.
BAH.
that means traveling.


oh yes,
i miss ALTHEE Alot.
the one who taught me guitar and always believing that i could play proper and nice music someday.
Thank You so much (:
from a tone-deaf singer who couldnt even strum well..
that was in sec one when we would sit at the back of the class and during every free time we had,
we would grab the guitar behind and you would teach me.
at first, our classmates jeered and poked fun at me whenever i practiced my constipated strumming.
but slowly, i was able to play for morning devotions in front of the whole school.
and then, our classmates started finding delight whenever we played the guitar at the back of the class.
and i became the 'guitar teacher' with you!
when there was no music,
they said that the class felt Empty.
and then i was good enough to play the guitar for cell and lead prayer meetings.
not an expert but good enough.
THANK YOU ALTHEE,
you Touched my life.
i'll Never forget you and Blackspot.
(:

and so the saying goes,
that people come and go
but some will leave footprints in your life.

you left your footprints in Mine.
(:

and i'd give up forever to touch you
cause' i know that you'll feel me somehow.

Good day world.
just came back from studying with gradys over at *secret place today.
HEH, i really Love it there (:
feels like some private place, cut off from the rest of the world.
Nice enough to study.
i Wish i have time to go back there sometime this week.

teachers' day celebration over at claudy's hse last sat was great (:
photos are with MAI.
we ate so Much, i felt like i swallowed Three Fat COWS!
was talking with claudy on her bed when she dozed off at 2 plus AM.
leaving me alone Wide Awake.
so i tried entertaining myself with some of her books.
used her loo and guess what i saw.
a Fat Cockroach.
EH, out of nowhere, the cockroach just came crawling out
i was frozen to the toilet bowl seat Man!
i screamed and shouted and tugged and nudged her to wake up but that woman was fast Asleep.
thank God it disappeared an hour later if not i would have to control till the next morning.
it was so Dark outside her room!
haha

NIKE run on sunday.
started and finished the race with nic, lana and liyun (:
im Sure we're gonna run and end this spiritual race together as well (:
it was so Tiring, i almost died!
thanks Nic for pushing me on.
it felt Cool and Exciting to be running with so many other people.
and Yes, im so glad to have ran the same race as claudy too (:
Stinky TOFU, i Told you that its gonna be Fun huh!
we shall go for the next SHAPE run TGT :D
anyhow, im so GLAD the 10KM is over.
dont think im a marathon person.
i rather sprint than run forever.
Haha
but, we did it!

Diarrhoea today.
TOM YAM is a Big addiction.
ive been eating it Two days in a row.
YUMM!

OH,
mum says that we're going to taiwan for holiday this year.
i Wish i can find some way to attend one of those taiwan church that chc's affilated to.
taiwan=FOOD=winter=Snow=Shopping=SHOES,NEW MP3, ETC.
OH YAY!! :D
im just worried about the food and putting on weight part.

and i dont want the world to see me,
cause' i dont think that they'd understand.

PICTURES:












i just want you to know who i am.

i have a dream.





--






Yellowcard(:

let me light up the sky, light it up for You.

YESTERDAY:
teachers day celebration in school
then headed back to Primary school.
i Miss ms Goh and that warm environment in pri school.
secondary school's almost as good as empty.
because they changed all the buildings, even the people there have changed.
met up with Maggie (: and Pang and Saihoo.
Saihoo's dog is so Cute(:

bs with leila and then cell.
was so tired, i came home to crash on my bed.
--

teachers' day celebration todayover at claudy's place.
i dont exactly have the mood.
tell me why?
gonna head over to claudy's place for a sleepover.
i hope things will be much more fun tonight,
with the class and teachers!

RUN is tmr,
i hope i dont leave anything out while packing for sleepover.

MM,
i cant wait for monday.
guilty pangs come along with all these playing and catching up with friends.
i wanna sit down to study!

tues, have to return to school for some survey.
-- travelling TWO hours just for a half an hour survey.
you got to be kidding with me.
wed is basketball step down day
thurs is movie with tofu
friday is "60 secs of fame" event
sat is Lana's birthday!
sun is my Grandmama's birthday.

oh MAN!
i want to hit the shops sometime soon to grab the things that i need/Want.
and hopefully,
a Beautiful pair of sportshoes too (:
my dear Ripcurl, when are you coming back to me?
)':



okie dokes,
off to CLAUDY's Place!



happiness is a decision.

i enjoy talking to you face to face too,
with hearts opened wide. (:

--


OH, i Must talk about this.
thursday, was my last paper- English Literature.

an hour and half before my paper,
i was still traveling to school.
boarded the bus from my hse to the nearby mrt station.
and when i alighted, i realised i left my WALLET behind.
my RIPCURL wallet )':
and the bus was just there, so near me.
i couldnt run after the bus because it was moving and obviously much Faster.
it was so Freaky because there wasnt much time left before my paper started.
rushed hme to get cash and i had to let Three cabs which stopped to pass me by.
because they were all Not heading to serangoon area.

well, i made it to school on time.
and though, my heart feels so Empty without my wallet,
)':
HMM.
i dont care about the cash. its the sentimental value thats inside.

it made me so MAD,
i sprinted 2.4km yesterday evening.

but im feeling better already. haha
i believe that honest people do exist and dearest Ripcurl will come back to be eventually.
--

anyhow, im done with prelims!
this holiday is such a tempting one.
but, i shall place studies as one of my highest priority this time.



Your love is everything.

DANG, it rained today.
and there was no shelter from the bus stop to the overhead bridge to the GYM.
):

i Like Planetshakers' worship songs (:
Wish i could play the guitar a little better,
sing a higher octave,
have more guts
so i can stand on stage to lead Worship someday.
(:

nothing is Impossible.

this song is so Nostalgic!
it was my sec 2 clique's trademark song.
i remember cycling past loving couples at East Coast Park at 2, 3AM singing this song with them.
and the many times we started banging our desks in school singing this.
Crazy bunch of people (:

cause' we could be happy cant you see,
if you'd only let me be the hold to you, and keep you here with me.

--

history killed my half of my braincells.
i dont think i'll be able to pass it again this time,
its just a matter of how well or badly i fail.
surprisingly, am looking forward to Beautiful Lit (:

and then its No More!
hmm okay maybe i should reduce my little break before studying for A's again.

Count down:
one more day to go before seeing tofu (:
class' teachers' day celebration is this sat over at claudy's place, Im so Excited about it!
NIKE run's on sunday.

MMM,
i Shall head to the gym today after my hist paper
since lit is in the afternoon tmr.

OH!
i found this boxing school,
its called 'Punch academy' or something like that.
but im not so willing to part with that much cash for a higher-boxing class for now.
HAHA, maybe i'll just stick to the old one and wait till im older- maybe 21! ?

i have Great Plans to earn BIG BUCKS!
looking forward to working with TOFU after A's (:
we considered working at hotel restaurants, heard that the pay that is goooodd.
(:


OH Drama Mama!
the korean show on channel U is heading to its Peak already :D
haha Yess, i Like korean shows (:

alrightey,
i hope 2 out of the 3 essay questions coming out today are on "Independence".
because ive only studied 1 out of the 2 books.
and i didnt even touch anything on that source based question book.
what have i been doing?
i Dont Know either, stoning in front of my book and trying to absorb through visual memory.
TADA!


hung on the cross and set me free.

im going home,
back to a place where i belong.
where your love has always been enough for me.
im not running from,
No, i think you got me all wrong.
i dont regret this life i chose for me.
but these places and faces are getting old,
so im going home.

to a place where love and feeling good dont ever cost a thing.

--

a couple of nights ago,
i was just thinking.
why do some of us stay and some leave over the years.
there can be so many different reasons,
but at the end of it it still boils down to that person's own choice.
i mean, we can do everything and anything, but if the mindset doesnt change or budge, no point if the world around him moulds to suit his liking right?
or at least thats from my point of view.

am currently into the song "THUNDER" by boys like girls (:
COFFEE BEAN's carrot cake = MMM :D but, not very affordable to eat everyday.
haha

went to collect our nike race packs with ah soon yesterday.
felt like two AH SOHs carrying so many race packs with us.
and after much complications, we manages to get our shirts changed by, today!
YAY (: im gonna be so Satisfied with my male cutting shirt, M size. (:
tried on male L last night, it was so Superb comfy, was tempted to go to bed in it. Haha.

want to head back to primary school on teachers' day.
and give Ms Goh a shocker! (:
i think its so Amazing that most of my closer friends are from the primary school.
maggie, sooon, lana, pang, Thank you God (:

last night,
i dreamnt that audrey and i were having training, following behind our coach with our team.
we were climbing stairs and running on the different levels of the HDB block.
but suddenly Aud and i lost sight of our team and we were left alone, running up the stairs trying to catch up.
it was so Scary because there was no one in sight and the lights on some levels just switched off went we reach those levels.
we just kept running higher and higher, trying to reach the top level.
but the number of levels just kept jumping.
like if we were on level 2, it wrote: level 2/10
and then suddenly when we were on level 3, it was : level 3/100
the more we climbed, the bigger the numbers grew.
the numbers jumped from 300 to 500 even.
it was so SCARY.
i started speaking in tongues but the numbers just kept jumping and Aud was so scared, she was clinging on to me.
then there was this guy we met who was all white with a cross chain and he was speaking in tongues too. but he too like us, was roaming around the block trying to get out. he was like a frozen piece of ice la, all white and stiff.
im so Glad i woke up before dreaming any further.
Scary.

--



this is my current studying state.
exams end on WED!
ive got plans to relax till SUN and then the drilling shall come in again.
(:


witnessing the bible school graduates yesterday deepened my desire for it.
i know that theres so much for me to work on, even before enrolling into the school itself.



living rain, come and flood my life again.

unconditional acceptance.

my Latest Favourite Hot SPOT is an isolate COFFEEBEAN or STARBUCKS with nothing but coffee and cakes and gentle music and a nice window scenery and perhaps a few people every now and then.

i Cant wait for wednesday to come and go.
and then i can see Fat tofu's face again :D
we're going Shopping!

left my sport shoes in the school locker,
now i Cant run over the weekends.
my muscles are SAGGING! ):

OH great,
now i need extra $$$ for a new mp3.
cant wait to get a job after my A's.
tofu suggested that we work at outlets like Mango or Zara
but i cant imagine myself just standing there and smiling and folding clothes for the whole entire day.
so Boring!

time flies so Fast nowadays that i hardly even notice it.
blackspot's prelims are over and she's HAPPILY party-ing away now.
i have, a few more days before i join in the party-ing
:D

i think am too stressed lately.
keep dreaming of random stuff.
in my dreams, i signed up for some econs tuition
and i even dreamnt of myself standing outside the lib waiting for it to open in the early morn. like some kiasu woman, i ran up the escalators and fought for a good seat in the lib when the doors opened.
WOW.
haha i may be studying but im Not that kiasu.

was reading SHAPE magazines today
they got my adrenaline pumping in.
and there was this page on females learning MUAY THAI here in singapore,
some of them even make extra efforts to join training camps over in thailand.
WOW, so COOOL.
shall go hunting for an even better kick-boxing class at a gym when time permits,
and then, get tofu to join with me :D
felt so weird in that cc's class, because yiwen and i were the youngest there!


mannequin.

Dear God,
im so Scared.

give me my amour and my shining sword,
im off to battle field.

the angels cry "holy, holy is the Lord."

He was sitting on his throne, smiling such a friendly and loving smile.
heartwarming enough to make my heart skip two beats and pound hard against my chest.
and i was there, in the midst of the huge crowd, amongst the hundreds and thousands and millions of people.
with one accord, they all bowed down towards my Father who was sitting on the throne
crying, "Holy, Holy".
Jesus lifted me up to see.
standing at the side of his throne, i looked down at the vast number of people, all on bended knees.
it was so Beautiful.
this is my God they were worshiping. my King whom they are exalting. my Saviour they are thanking. and my Father whom they love.
i felt so honored, to be part of everything.
to be serving and to be part of this kingdom.
thank you Jesus.(:
for reminding what it means to be Blessed to be a Blessing,
reminding me that im Never alone be it serving or standing in the gap.
for the reassurance that even as i go out, im not a soldier out on battle ground fighting alone.


i can make it on battle ground because ive been to holy ground.
--

GP yesterday was alright.
i kept falling asleep MAN.
apparently, the few mints which i brought along with me werent strong enough.
i need to stop sleeping and open my eyes Bigger!
did the question on physical beauty without even realising that it was the "absurd question"!
its okayy, am still carrying hopes on passing it.

two nights ago,
i dreamnt of our econs question paper.
with the paper divided into three sections
but i CANT remember the questions in my dream
the only word that i could recall was the word "fundamental" in the first question under microeconomics.
it Scares me because when i flipped the paper open in my dream, i couldnt do a single thing.
especially when my econs paper is Today.
and im left here in a 'hanging position', puzzled by that dream too.
wonder if it will come to pass.
haha
i think ive been dreaming too Much.
had a scary dream last night, i woke up crying.
MAN, its the first time this kindof things' happening.

studying with Blackspot lately.
i Love that stupid retard woman :D

feel so Touched by the Many messages of encouragement received.
plus that flower from Sooon, its Pretty!
THANK YOU (:


You alone are my strong tower.

with all my future plans, they are safe within your hands.

i wanna play this for cell!


my Mp3 died on me
and it lasted for less than a year )':

and for some reason, i Cant burn songs into my CDs
currently living off the few songs in my phone plus class 95 and 98.7.
BUT every time the train goes under those tunnels.... EH.
i hear Static.

--

haha, Studied at *secret place today.
decided to be secretive about it :D
i Like the feeling there(:
am really Motivated to study these few days.
although i know its too late to do much already,
i Promise, im really gonna go all out for my A's.

i will Not lower my own expectations and standards to my Circumstance.
everything will just have to be amended to attain my Goals.

--

went for service today with lana and her two sisters (:
i Cant believe i took Two wrong trains home today.
my mind must have been occupied with something else.

was looking at the person hand-signing during service today.
made me think Alot about my ministry.
and
today, i visualized myself leading worship on stage.
it was so Beautiful.

like Joseph, i want to be a dreamer.
whatever happened to those dreams dreamed at nights in the previous years and months?
i need fresh oil.
--

i made things clear with J today.
i hope i wasnt too blunt or frank.
but now that the boundaries have been set, im really glad i can be a normal friend now (:
looking forward to studying together and being great buddies.
it got me thinking and talking to God in my heart.
how am i supposed to know when and who's right?
am i letting the right things pass me by unknowingly. and even so, how am i supposed to know how to react?

i supposed, thats for Daddy to know and for me to find out.


nothing but the blood.

"different umbrellas, different handles, different lives, different fates"
-Fistful of Colours

Haha, this is what happens when you read too much lit.
reading FOC made me realise lots of issues in the book.
like how women were treated as sex slaves in the past.
and how much pain they have to go through both Before and During and even After marriage.
MAN. im starting to feel more like a feminist after reading the book.
i, like the idea of Independent women
standing up for themselves and not just counting on the security men can provide.
(:

THURSDAY:
early morning prayer was refreshing(:
studied with gradys in the day.
and then, night supper with PANG and SAIHOO at jalan kayu
:D i miss those good old days Much.
sihui and her boyfriend were just so Cute together.
haha am looking forward to the day when we four gather Tgt with our boyfriends (:
HAHA

FRIDAY:
reached school at 6:50AM in the morning
oh my Goshh.
even i myself couldnt believe it.
gradys' dad fetched us to school and we decided to study from dawn to dusk!
but i stoned so Much today.

guess we really have to make full use of the scarce number of days we have left.
--

had a Great chat with tofu on the phone just now :D

COFFEEBEAN tmr
and then service.



Jesus, you made the heavens and the stars.
you made my whole Universe.

testimony:



song:


this is my prayer in the desert
when all that's within me feels dry.

but you are still God, i have a reason to sing.

there is a faith proved of more worth than gold.

--

play, stop, flashback, fast-forward, play again.

ive got too much to say,
i dont know where to start.
haha

tofu's gonna come over to visit while i bury myself with books this sat.
:D
PRATAA with pang and saihoo tmr night.
studying in the DAYs.

i havent ran for more than a week now.

study leave starts tmr,
i Wish i have the whole year to start with.

no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

OH.
ive been having Really Weird dreams again.
dreamnt that i was pregnant, dreamnt of guitar, art and so many other random people.
Scary!





haha seriously,
our class has so MANY pictures.
i think one photo album account wouldnt be enough.
(:



the seed which i received i will sow.