i feel so much better without having to think twice before i type anything.
its easier to breathe in here.

esplanade last night.
i really thank God for such people around me.
(:

now that the exams are over, i really want to focus on A lot of things.
i think God is a really Beautiful God.
cause' everytime i come before Him and asks Him to use me,
He does. despite the fact that im not good enough.
and opening my eyes to look at this world around me,
i see so many people hungry for God too.
which makes me feel so honoured to just to be used by Him.
why me, God?
why me? im not as perfect as them.
and in my heart i feel so flattered, that i dont know how to express it outwardly.
but sometimes when Daddy really comes to use me,
im not even prepared at all.
sometimes, i feel like some greedy nutcase person.
yes fiona, you want God to use you, and you want to serve in ministry, shine in studies, touch the lives of cg members.
and so i ask God for this and that, and that and this.
but when it really comes,
im not even ready for it in person.
recently,
i realised that there is so Much more that i have to do before perfection.
im not even anywhere near to perfection.
whats the point of claiming that i want to be a "prayer warrior" when im not even strong enough to come against the night and darkness.
seeing visions and dreams were so amazing, but today, its past revelation that im living on.
when i share with others, i can only tell them of my dreams which came true.
the extent is so Limited.
i dont want to be just living on past revelation.
i want to be living on Daily Manna.
to have Never ending dreams that i can testify of to those around me.

i think i need to seek God so much more and i know that He's waiting for me to make some kindof move.
He has been so patient with me.
i think i dont even deserve it.

dear God, please dont pass me by.
i believe, help my unbelief.
--

ive been dreaming of so Much random stuff lately.
MAN, if we were all younger, we dont even have to deal with all these bgr rubbishh.
and WHAT is nic saying in her blog leh?
Haha, who's the one who always talks about guys Huh you tell me? you tell me NOW!


take me on a journey.