i never knew i could hurt like these.

went over to claudy's place today
studied with her and leo.
im in Love with her TOASTED BREAD!
so Addictive man (:
haha but of course, the company was Much better.
i enjoyed the catching up and all those talks claudy (:
we better work Hard to complete our remaining home work!
honestly, i have so MUCH to do,
i need to multiply whatever time that i have left
and start getting to work.

my GOSHH,
i wanna get RID of this Irritating pimple thats growing on my Left Cheek!

lana, pork and smallballhead and nic were studying tgt today.
so Nice to know that we're always hanging out tgt constantly (:
i cant wait for the weekends!
--

sometimes it gets so tiring with you,
i wish you knew how i felt.
its difficult to be patient and giving in all the time.
maybe i do need some reassurance in this friendship at times
to keep giving me the strength to
hold on.

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

this song is so touching,
i almost Cried while listening to it over and over again.
if not for the many conversations popping up on msn.
Haha.

i wish, i could say those words to you.

spends his time alone in the basement with a guitar.

i wanted showed that i bother coming home early today.
but anyway,
happy Fathers' day Dad.

i have a really Crazy cellgroup.
shall let the pictures do the talking (:
haha














dreams and visions are piling on the inside of me.
but First,
i know that it all has to start with myself.
knowing that i cant expect them to be perfect in the different areas when i myself cant even do it.
i see that there are so Many things awaiting for me to conquer them,
breakthroughs after breakthroughs waiting for me to make some kindof move.
i guess,
i am only in the position to Nag at others when i myself have done them faithfully.
things like bible study and quiet time and praying.
leading a christian life can be so Exciting indeed. (:
because, a smooth life's gonna be so Boring afterall huh.

ONE more week left and..
HELP
)':
i havent been studying at all.
im so SCARED.
because everyone must have been studying
and even if they didnt,
this june hols was supposed to be time to catch up with the Average students.
i wanna be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath.

lots of WANTS that i have too.
beloved Brown FOSSIL watch!(:
sling leather bag (:
and straight cut jeans.

wow OH wow.
i just ran approximately 3km just now.
now i really do Undderstand that having ABS is not an easy task.
):
OKAYY, i have so Much to work on.

gonna Swim and then study at claudy's place tmr (:
looking forward!

king lear:


















theres something about you now.

im feeling, GREAT tonight.
and Loved (:

truly,
it was a really Tiring and Trying period for me.
to plan and organise and be part of it at the same time,
with other problems bugging in my life.
but the sermon today did impact me somehow.
if im complaining all the time, then the person im serving really isnt God but myself aint it?
because if i were to serve Daddy wholeheartedly,
it would be one out of compassion without feeling tired because then my source of strength would be from a source thats everlastingly strong.
anyhow,
today was Great (:
with trembling arms and a slightly shaky voice,
i found myself singing into the mike during worship today.
but the experience was good
and truly, i felt so honoured to just to be
serving, in the house of God.
(:

thank you God, for everything.
for using me.

i felt so Humiliated today during "UNLEASH"!
the catwalk and talentime and everything else,
though our group's performance was quite ruined..
HAHA. it was Great just having fun with the right people
:D

Fellowshipped after everything ended.
i LOVE my cell mates (:
haha

and from today onwards, am gonna blog more of SPIRITUAL stuff
because of people like
LANA TAN and CHERYL PORK.
haha

alrights, i need to butt off already
):
PICS TMR!

you are my glory.

woke up with two red and slightly puffed eyes this morn from last night.
it felt so horrible then.
but i feel better now.
thank you ELANA (:
for being so timely and for just listening.
i wish i could be there by your side too,
haha chasing away that wild imagination of yours.

king Lear has been ongoing for two days
and i dont have this excitement to go for today's show.
its weird how people tend to exaggerate their dressing.
we're only going to the Library mann.
i wonder what they're gonna wear for their prom night.
haha of course this is just from my point of view,
i do know that i tend to under dress many times too.
BasketBall's bbq is this evening
and i dont know how to explain it to them.
cant possibly split myself into two.
i do Miss Basket Ball a lot as whole,
the trainings and all the people.
but i guess too many absence from these social gatherings have made things different already.
i feel so bad for turning them down almost all the time.

PM was yesterday
and it felt great singing worship after worship after worships.
im quite stressed out about the upcoming events and all
but hopefully this sat is gonna be a Great one.
was talking to God on my way hme yesterday
He didnt respond back back im sure He was listening.
i wish that Daddy would come down in a physical form so real, and be my friend here on earth.
a friend who understands and is just all about perfect inside out.
sometimes i feel so exploited by the people around me
but its not that i hate anyone of them,
in fact i do Love them.
just that once in a blue moon,
i guess its when my energy really runs out
and i need someone real to lend me a shoulder to lean on.
but its alright,
we're all gonna be fine.

its friday today.

"this is the day which the Lord has made; we shall rejoice and be glad in it"
-Ps 118:24


back to this childlike yet Strong verse.
i want to be a child, with childlike faith.

burning a hole in your plastic heart wasnt my intention at all.
i just thought that as a friend, or even as a close friend,
i should just tell you how i feel.
and,
i miss J so much.
i guess i really am very Bad in expressing how i feel.
dear God,
i need to take a break with You. not away from you.
but i guess, i really do need a break.
to settle relationships issue.
and so much more other stuff.

toured round bugis a little today with lana before the lit play.
bugis street has lots of nice stuff
its pleasant to go there without the crowd.
i wanna get my sling Leather bag (:
and changed the face of my Beloved fossil watch,
change my sports shoes at queensway too.
MAN, ive got so much to do.

are you there?
i feel so dumb and jaded.

ZOMBIE.

i feel like a walking zombie.
walking zombie is what i feel like concurrently.


i'm so EXCITED and nervous at the same time.

dear God,
i Love them a lot.
but im not perfect and i suckk at expressing my feelings.
please give me more love, more patience.
more kindness, more sacrifices.

more of You and less of me.

back from camp!
im so tired after days of 5 hours of sleep and being busy with all the different preparations.
for a moment, i felt like i was serving in full-time ministry.
sometimes theres so Much here and there that i got so mixed up
but often, i find myself heading to bed smiling a little,
cause' im a servant.
(:
mm, camp was Great.
we had our overnight prayer meeting in PL primary.
which brought back so Much memories of my PL school days.
i really wished i could turn back time.
i Love worshipping Daddy with a huge group of people,
the feeling is pretty awesome (:
and im so inspired to really pray more and more daily.
its really, your heart that matters unto God.
fancy words dont count for anything.
i felt it so real during our pm just now,
when jicai started praying that burden in his heart was so Strong.
i started tearing just by hearing his prayers.
Jesus' Amazing! (:
i came hme after such a long day and to find a brand new study chair
haha Praise God, more motivation to study. (:
i must be NUTS to be still up at this time.
its 8:51 AM and everyone's more or less too zonked out from last night.
we didnt even slept a wink last night.
my head's spinning round and round already,
OH MAN, and i just dozed off while typing.
haha OKAY, time to really rest.
talking about rest,
my head was practically resting on this old lady's shoulder during my bus ride hme just hours before and some man kept staring over.
it was so Superb Embarrassing!

mm i MISS JOBY.
i think we both need to talk to catch up with each other.
(:

perhaps its the raging hormones.
ayee.
Love is so Interesting (:

its so Difficult to be patient and loving all the time.
i really do want to love, love and just have More Love.
but sometimes its difficult to convey the message that i want to pass on to them
if i werent to be harsh.
how do i make them understand that sacrifices are needed to grow?
that if you really want something, you've got to work for it.
just like our own destiny is in our grasps,
the different actions that we take explains our different journeys in life.
i need to PRAY more.
and also, to birth forth people like liwen and cheryl.
im starting to dare to dream now.
of the amazing things that we can do,
of my own cell in the near future.
am so Excited for Unleash!(:

alrights, theres still so much to do.
leaders' meeting later,
plans for unleash,
settle guitar pm
and our very own pm for unleash.

wow wow wow,
im gonna and i need to,
STRETCHH.
but for now,
a nap shall do the re-charging of my physical energy.

greatest love that anyone could ever know.

You are the peace that guards my heart.

i feel reallyreally Tired.
been sleeping around 3, 4am for the past few nights.
and for no particular reason actually.
just lying on bed and not being able to sleep.
OH MANN, i think i have insomnia.
):

i wish,
i could be the perfect friend.
nevertheless,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY joby (:
--

we are all innocent.



with a little more distance all of a sudden,
i feel so weird.
like what joby said,
"it always feel nice to be loved."
yes, it really does feel so nice to be loved.
and what can i do?
i brought it upon myself anyway.
overtime, its gonna get better
at least its a fact which i can seek comfort in.
but for now, i'll just let this weird bitterness hang in there a little.
--

zoo with joby today.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVE (:
:D
though it was drizzling, we still had fun.
saw so Many animals,
those RHINOCEROS are the Best!
(:

mm, i want to lose body fat.
i Need to Stop eating supper.
i really want to head down to the gym but plans for next week are taking up so much of my time.
time to STRETCH.

mann, im starting to lose my inspiration to blog.
i kind of miss my old blog now.
sometimes it feels like im talking to myself.
OKAY, im so Contradicting.

close your eyes, give me your hand.
do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?

too much pride.
in many different ways.
i always thought the people around me were full of pride.
but i overlooked myself.
and Pride, was the first sin in the bible.
when satan was so proud and egoistic, wanting his own kingdom.
i dont even want to have a small Inch of similarity with Lucifer.

recently, ive been playing a little hide-and-seek with God.
but i got so worn out after running in all the different directions.
i was just too lazy to sit down and wait on the Lord for my own breakthrough, too fearful, too impatient, too busy.
but God is LOVE.
and He told me today, that
"it doesnt matter if im not good enough.
it doesnt matter if ive made so many mistakes as a person.
what matters most, is being the faithful little servant who has a willing heart."
prayer meeting was Awesome today.
we all know that its so Difficult to become what we want to be.
its Never easy to walk the talk.
but i really want to be the small Humble servant who remains faithful at all times.
so that when Daddy looks down from heaven to see,
He notices me.

trying to Love A and Y with all my heart hasnt been easy at all.
like every other human being,
sometimes i get so irritated by their passiveness.
but now that i know it takes Extra love and an Extraordinary attitude to be different,
dear God i pray for more love.

and, this distance is the best that i can keep
for both you and me to grow.
i hope we will still be great Great Friends(:
--

hmm ZOO on saturday with TOFU (:
that woman dreamnt that i migrated to australia or something and she was so upset about it.
so SWEET.
i Love you too (:
cant wait for saturdayy (:

studying tmr with lana and wilfred.
alrighto,
lets get the ball rolling!

tattoos and memories.

i feel so much better without having to think twice before i type anything.
its easier to breathe in here.

esplanade last night.
i really thank God for such people around me.
(:

now that the exams are over, i really want to focus on A lot of things.
i think God is a really Beautiful God.
cause' everytime i come before Him and asks Him to use me,
He does. despite the fact that im not good enough.
and opening my eyes to look at this world around me,
i see so many people hungry for God too.
which makes me feel so honoured to just to be used by Him.
why me, God?
why me? im not as perfect as them.
and in my heart i feel so flattered, that i dont know how to express it outwardly.
but sometimes when Daddy really comes to use me,
im not even prepared at all.
sometimes, i feel like some greedy nutcase person.
yes fiona, you want God to use you, and you want to serve in ministry, shine in studies, touch the lives of cg members.
and so i ask God for this and that, and that and this.
but when it really comes,
im not even ready for it in person.
recently,
i realised that there is so Much more that i have to do before perfection.
im not even anywhere near to perfection.
whats the point of claiming that i want to be a "prayer warrior" when im not even strong enough to come against the night and darkness.
seeing visions and dreams were so amazing, but today, its past revelation that im living on.
when i share with others, i can only tell them of my dreams which came true.
the extent is so Limited.
i dont want to be just living on past revelation.
i want to be living on Daily Manna.
to have Never ending dreams that i can testify of to those around me.

i think i need to seek God so much more and i know that He's waiting for me to make some kindof move.
He has been so patient with me.
i think i dont even deserve it.

dear God, please dont pass me by.
i believe, help my unbelief.
--

ive been dreaming of so Much random stuff lately.
MAN, if we were all younger, we dont even have to deal with all these bgr rubbishh.
and WHAT is nic saying in her blog leh?
Haha, who's the one who always talks about guys Huh you tell me? you tell me NOW!


take me on a journey.