JUST TWO MORE MONTHS.
and im only at my first hist book, out of Six?!

many breakthroughs recently. i learnt not to judge and limit others as well as myself. and one thing for sure, i can Never outgive God. thankyou so much (: it overwhelms me.
lots of things to balance right now. sometimes i feel that i can only Dream. because of the time constrain and my other priorities. but a better look at the bigger picture caused me to see that nothing's holding me back except myself. i guess its the fear to commit and the fear to sacrifice again. thats the way it is. i need to score and excel this time, cant afford to make the same mistake twice. no, dont wanna think of the bad consequences. it makes me depresseddd.


OKAY STAND STRONG AND FIGHT. WHAT AM I WAITING FOR???

too worldly for me, this friendship, should i break it or try to make it?

Service today was Greatt. Love cellgroup and service esp my Awesome pastor (:
Very Proud and Happy for Leila mama too! if not for her i wldnt even be where i am today. so happy and honoured to be in her ministry-which i know will continue to grow and explode in numbers (:
really want to get baptised but my dad says no. hopefully he changes his mind. if not, i'll always try again the next round.

anyway,
The girl's name Analeigh \a-nalei-gh, an(a)-leigh\ is a variant of Ana (Hebrew), and the meaning of Analeigh is "favored grace".
sounds nice? heh heh heh.
(:

was studying the other day when this song came on.
i almost forgot how beautiful it sounded. does anyone has it?? (:
Depressedd. was talking to someone today, i understand what it means about no one being able to fully comprehend. there is always this void no matter how i express.
Many times, people are slow to listen and quick to speak. thats also the reason why (personally) i wanna lend a listening ear to people out there in the future. thankyou those who tried encouraging me, Appreciated. aiyo, really stressed up. i've been dreaming about GP examinations, ghosts, people after my life and other weird stuff. had my first history tuition today and his comment really affected me. i really dont want to have an E grade again, whats the point of retaking again then? ya i know i shldnt dwell on it. sometimes i work so haywirely under stress. i can take mins and hours to plan my days ahead everyday, telling myself i shld finish so and so by which day. but at the end of it, i wound up being more stressed because i cant keep up with my own schedule. Rubbishh. feeling like a Nincompoop. (this word really does exist)

on a flip side, havent been going out and spending recently. so.. i managed to save almst 30 bucks this week (:

I SERIOUSLY NEED MORE TIME.
sometimes i just feel like ive no life ): especially when ppl start asking, "so what did you do today?" what elsee.
been trying to squeeze many different things into my days. thinking of putting a halt to certain things but at the same time not wanting to limit my own capacity. what do i do? where do i go from here?
wish i slacked lesser and spent my time wisely.
wish i can do without sleep and coffee has effects on me.


Jesse Mccartney is CUTE.

terrible terrible nightmare last night, dreamnt of close ones all after each others' lives and there was this part when i was being captured and locked up underground with someone controlling my thoughts, mood, actions..basically my life! it felt so much like THE SIMS just that i wasnt the game master. Hate such dreams man, they send creepy crawlies up my backk. ):
studied with soon liyun n cheryl at starbucks today before evening pm and than chats by the river. 'been at various starbucks recently, i think i contribute qutie a sum to their profits! so much fats n sugar floating in my tummy.

WANNA SHOP SO BADLY. seeing so much stuff online but all the clothes are starting to look similar. seriously cant wait to go shopping with eunice on friday! (: its much better to touch and feel clothes and buy On the spot. meeting pam like Finally on thurs night.

my last day of work is tmr-tuesday, WOOHOO ((: tuition on wed and studying in the day on thurs and friday. so Much to do this week. so many bdays and other stuff to plan. WAH. ive decided to be away from the cyberworld, besides checking my mailbox.

hope this week gets productive.

Hello wello! (influenced by nic)
swimming wasnt very successful. Great hot sun but we were so lazy, just splashed in the pool for an hour only. would you believe it if i said i only swam ONE LAP? haha ARGhhh, feel like swimming again but p just came, bad timing ): need to invest in a pair of good goggles too, the one which i bought is of such lousy quality! thats the result of being a cheapo and trying to save money.

celebrated my grandpa's birthday today, feeling so Full from dinner. All the kids(us) shared a table n we ordered anything we wanted since the adults are paying (; took neoprints with my cousins for the first time too. Very interesting, watching the guys moan and groan and then giggle n laugh when the cam starts snapping. okay maybe not giggle.

Chuch anni is tmr. feeling so Excited about it (:

many thoughts, sometimes the negative comes in the way and i start questioning my own ability and if im ready. honestly, there are many things that im still not sure about. i need to be bolder! and Stronger.

http://community.livejournal.com/sgflea/67559707.html#cutid1

online shopping is Crazyy. making me want to spend my moneyy! really liking the gem disc stretch bracelet. that accessory shop at citylink sells its with blue gems! but at 14bucks. feeling like getting it.

gonna start saving my cash up though. wanna buy new mp3. my current one is cranky. Wah i think im so greedy, being so needy.

it Rhymes!

reminds me of the lit tuition we had we ms thiang last wk. really enjoying lit and the many topics of discussions. if im blessed with writing skills..would really love to write a book someday (:

eunice's birthday party:

not my will but Yours (:

just a few of those pictures(:

spent most of my day underground having tuition ystd. ive been thinking, know that to so many people around me im just busy studying for A's everydayy. recently, ive this thing about skipping outings and other gatherings so that ive ample time to study. but what if at the end of it i dont make it again? what if despite all the 'studying and tuition i still cant make the mark? think ive been too stressed lately ):

arh, dont really want to think about it anymore.

going swimming today before settling in the library. hope we receive an enough dosage of the sun, slightly burnt wld be nice(:

saturday night, class outing at minds cafe was Retarded. im in lovee with the apple crumble there (: stephh did an operation and she lost over 10KG my goodness! i was shocked when i saw her, she seems so frail to me now. was thinking abt how its like to actually fall sick and land up in a hospital bed and then i wake up to see friends n family ard me with baskets of flowers of fruits(hopefully)..sounds quite Fun actually Haha. they, or rather we camwhored like crazy, waiting for the pics to be uploaded (:

gonna really cut down on my social life already. i Must be more Disciplineddd. seeing soon ah li so serious and focus makes me wanna be more strict with myself too. i am So Gonna make sure i land in a decent university with a good course. WATCH ME MAN.

both of my guitar's out of tunedd. we sang praise without guitar during cell on sat, need to get them fixed fast. on a flip side, i decided to invest in a chiese CD from church today, gonna listen and sing and learn those songs during my own QT, quite excited about it(: i Love my mehmehs, sometimes i wish i have so much more time than what ive got to be able to go the extra more through my actions. it seems like ive so much time in my hands because theres no school, but not really actuallyyy. i Am and Will be a full nerd from now onwards. gonna find a way to balance things up and juggle everything.

just finished typing parts of my lit essay to send to Ms Thiang. wanted to go the extra mile and do the whole essay..Wah im seriously dozing off already. think i'll just stop at 3 paragraphs =/

oh yes,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE WONG ((((((:


oh, reason not the need.

was down with fever and super Bad headache for the first few days of the week. woke up so many times in the middle of the night which left me tired and sleeping for the rest of the days. made a couple of visits to the doc's too and i realised that Lots of ppl are sick! terrible, i dislike being sick, makes me feel so handicapped.

just got back from dinner and a long discussion with some ppl from cell. a mixture of feelings (:
i have just so much to improve on. before i even take another step in shepharding my own ppl. need to react rightly in different situations too. when it comes to serving, my own feelings are secondary and thats really what loving ppl is about. ive got to much to learn n improve on.

So much to do for the next couple of days! how now brown cowwwwwww? ):

-prepare discipleship msg

-practise guitar for cell

-birthday card/present

-STUDY coldwar, global economy etc etc etc.

-class outing tmr aft cell

a pure heart, thats what i long for.

like switchfoot's songs.
--

i need to be wiser and have better reactions.

the world is moving on so fast that sometimes i have such difficulty catching up. but i tell myself, its not abt how fast or how soon but being where i am at the right place at the right time. its not the quantity, but quality..

this is your life, are you who you want to be?

friday night, my mum just baked cupcakes mmmm(:
feeling really cared for. i came home to find my mum steaming crab! because i was just expressing my craving for CRABS a few days ago.
very yummy but bad for my tummy.
i am missing nic and angeline for the weekend already. plus lana tan who's busy with her camp. hope they have great Awesome times though.

had lit tuition early in the morn today and charmaine n i decided to camp at starbucks for the day. nice place to study before evening when everyone else starts coming in. sharmaine n godfrey came over to study for awhile in the afternoon (: gave picnic a miss today n decided to be a lil more devoted to my books. seriouslyy, i need to start burning midnight oil and stop falling asleep everytime i try to study at night. if not my history will really be history. goodness, whilst studying coldwar i find myself getting more n more pro-marxist. feeling quite frustrated for the russians at times. =/ sickk.

have my eyes on manymany accessories and wants! ive concluded that online shopping is really dangerous. I Am Seriously Gonna Cut Down now. ms blur queen got her eyes on an accessorize wallet..dont be saddd, who knows, it'll be halfed price very soon! thanks for that card n encouragement(: and, i really see you in a different light today. big heart (:

1:14Am, oh ya. not finished with my discipleship msg for sunday yet.
next week. i really am gonna move my lazy bum and start exercising.
mm, still thinking abt that leather wrist band which we saw today. so many things i wanna.. need $$$!! speaking of which, i want my 40bucks backk.
how nice if cash were to rain down from the sky.

been ranting on and on non-stop. okay, time to log off. tadas.

secrets are meant to be kept. if not why are they called secrets?

its been AGES since i last joined them for outings like dinners and lunches. now that i do think about it, i feel quite bad for always not turning up on basketball gatherings. sigh, i got to manage my time more properly. what to do? going through a technicolour phase what. got to master the art of balancing!

typed a whole chunk, but backspaced everything in the end.

when ppl say they want to care, how genuine is it,

how long are they willing to actually stay and wait and care?

"human beings are selfish. they need their needs to be met and most of the time, at the end of the day despite what they say, its still 'me, myself and i'."

on a sidenote, i managed to survive SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS of tuition today with char and yuanyuan. An hour and a half of literature and the rest of the day spent in our underground tuition centre stuffing ourselves with tidbits and econs.

bs with Godfrey n Sharmaine before dinner with the rest tmr.

but before everything else im gonna spend some time alone studying and mostly, to re-charge(:

good nights.

caught the movie "Obsessed" today! the show featuring Beyonce. was really good (: wah, that guy's body is SUPER BUFFED. i dont know how to describe it man. lots of upcoming movie clips that i wanna catch.
Donated blood for the second time a couple of days ago. having tiny dizzy spells these few days whenever i get off the chair or bed. doctor says that i have low blood pressure. gotta exercise more to keep fit!
kept dozing off in GP tuition today. oh boy, today's not a productive day at all. ah soon says that prelims are 50 plus days away and charmaine counted the number of days left to A's.. only abt 188 =/
goodness, think i need to be much more disciplined n hardworking.

'been reading my twilight books again the past couple of days. i think its Amazing how some authors really can write. find my own heart thumping nervously at all the exciting parts and those romantic moments just make my heart melt. Stepahnie Meyer is really Goodd. wah i dont know which will be the next book i should read now.
was dozing off during long hours of econs today. bumped into so many people at the tuition centre which made me realise that lots of ppl from SR are retaking. mm Ms blur sotong queen is gonna give me wake up call tmr morn. i better get off the comp soon.

i am going JOGGING tmr!!
my first cardio exercise in 4 weeks plus.
haha yes, ive been that unfit. shows how busy and lazy ive been.


going through a.. technicolor phase.

taylor lautner is much better looking!

--

Breathe.

for all the times ive lent a listening ear,

i just need a shoulder to lean on when my stormy seasons come. i can take the pain.. but i need to let loose, let loose. wish i listen less and take more and then find myself hating what i wished for.

breathe.

"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm;
for love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave;
it's flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame."
-Song of Solomon 8:6

myGoodnessGracious me! woke up late today and i was supposed to book seats. rushed to church and was sharing with ah soon and jicai abt my 'nightmare last night. i, dreamnt of GORILLAS. my gosh, dreamnt that i was a gorilla and there was this other pokemon who plucked my hair to eat and it evolved and after becoming so Huge, it came after me in my dream. my Goodness, Superb Scary.

anyways, am so looking forward to having bs with Godfrey (:
i MISS LEILA MAMA. feeling so honoured that im the first person she actually called from UK!
which reminds me of the great time we had KTV-ing together before she left.

headed down for an event after service and a few of us went dwn to a flea mkt.
Superb packed and hot and stuffy but can really get good deals there if we DIG.
i regret buying a couple of them though. but am so Looking forward to the next flea market with my beloved shopping buddies! (:

this week, i wanna learn from Jacob.

what matters most is being at the right place at the right time.

my conclusion of the day:
People need the Lord. Even though they hardly ever show it, even though they are always constantly searching for something else to fill that empty hole within. At the end of the day, people still need the Lord.

and that includes me.

watched bits of Finding Nemo on channel 5 today and i actually teared!

Manymany random thoughts in my head today.
dear Daddy, come and make my life so much more interesting than this.
(:
breathe life into these bones of mine.

i am feeling very Blessed to the max for Loving leaders over me. closer ones like leila and nic and the even bigger leaders like pst Kong in church. (: so much words to say, but words cant express how inspired i am to be a very good leader myself when my season comes.

feeling Super Zombifieddd due to a lack of sleep the past few days. am so drained that i fell asleep while typing on the keyboard halfway.. but this wk has been a pretty fruitful week. feeling closer to some ppl after sharing "close conversations"(: and, Daddy has been answering my prayers on having greater compassion and more Love towards others. On a personal level, i really want to be able to say with All my heart that i agape God and not just phileo Him. im not there yet, but i want to be and i will be (:
thinking of the discipleship msg to share tmr, hope it turns out great!

okay the Z-monster keeps attacking me, AH!
hopefully i can last long enough to do some studying tonight or tmr.

till then.
:0)


deeper in love with You.