i am feeling very Blessed to the max for Loving leaders over me. closer ones like leila and nic and the even bigger leaders like pst Kong in church. (: so much words to say, but words cant express how inspired i am to be a very good leader myself when my season comes.

feeling Super Zombifieddd due to a lack of sleep the past few days. am so drained that i fell asleep while typing on the keyboard halfway.. but this wk has been a pretty fruitful week. feeling closer to some ppl after sharing "close conversations"(: and, Daddy has been answering my prayers on having greater compassion and more Love towards others. On a personal level, i really want to be able to say with All my heart that i agape God and not just phileo Him. im not there yet, but i want to be and i will be (:
thinking of the discipleship msg to share tmr, hope it turns out great!

okay the Z-monster keeps attacking me, AH!
hopefully i can last long enough to do some studying tonight or tmr.

till then.
:0)


deeper in love with You.

havent really blogged in awhile that ive lost the gist on how to blog posts! boy oh boy.
mm think my econs tuition is a really cool place to study in. underground bomb shelter with Lots of snacks (: haha am really glad that i signed up for it.
saw a bag that i really liked at bugis street but its totally sold out now ):
MM, my whole world seems to revolve around studying recently. besides the usual meet ups with friends and hanging outs i dont know what else to talk about anymore. Studying has become my priority.

think im really Slow. but loving this song(:
they lyrics are very apt.



Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever
If you feel you’ve lost your way
What if my chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you gave me one good reason
To fight and never walk away

so here I am — still holding on!
Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing just
When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

I fought to the limit to
Stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets
Don’t know where’s the future’s heading
But nothing's gonna bring me down

Jumped every bridge
I've run every line
I risked being safe i always knew why
I always knew why

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule coz there’s nothing between you
and your dreams

weather the hurricans.

after every winter season comes Summer. right?

lots of things going on the past few weeks! attempted going back to the studying mode today but i was too worn out, kept dozing off in front fo my notes in the lib. shall try again tmr (:
been praying for more wisdom and love. also the desire for a particular calling.
on a side note, ive been eating Too Much! SOUP SPOON's Soup is really YUMMY (: quoted from leila, "im exploding with fatness!!"
):

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
*I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m gonna remember most yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on
Cause...


really Loving how this song speaks.
was feeling Extremely excited and positive about things until someone's different attitude and thoughts got to me. ah, Cannot like that! i must learn to be less affected by other people's passiveness, to be able to listen yet not affected. wanna contain this excitement and keep it living within.

it's in the journey.

WAH. thanks to bryan and cheryl's conversation i am Super nervous for tmr's youth band audition.

i better go practise now!

Dear God please take these feelings away. help me to feel the right things and think the right way.

Esplanade library has become my second home. Studying is my new hobby.

Getting into this routine ..

and surprisingly, i feel more confident and am beginning to enjoy it.

TMR,

i am finally gonna hit the malls!

It's okay to tap on God's grace. But its not okay to exploit God's grace.

gosh, my Eye-Bags!

i caught the flu bug! ): and syptoms of cough are following.
youth worship band audition the upcoming week, really hope that i have some voice to sing and sing..well! am quite sure of my own standards.. we'll see how it goes(:

just sorted out my GP notes today. i have Super Duper thick files waiting for me in the cupboard to study. gonna do my studying with lana tan's Dear friend- sharmaine from tmr onwards. looking forward to it because she really Motivates me to study. i feel like i have this Huge gigantic mountain to climb. signed up for GP and LIT tuition already, left econs and historyyy. sometimes i still go to sleep and wake up the very next day, wishing that my appeal would be successful. hahaha, i guess thats how life is. the past will always be around to haunt us. at least, i know that im not alone. have a Good studying partner now (:

on a side note, a part of me really needs to stop running away. i rmb pst saying before:

"if you want a vacation, dont take one away from God. take it with God."

a short vacation with Daddy is what i really need.

had a very special and exciting encounter today, i hope this thing is here to stay (:

its Sunday, had a very long but fulfilling day (:

woke up a little earlier to have bs with bryan before svc. service was just Great today. im so glad that i didnt just head back to my seat straight after a failed attempt of being prayed for. Serene grabbed my hand while i was backing away from the stage and she offered to pray for me. There was no wailing or struggling but i felt much better after crying out my bitterness n unforgiveness. today i learnt that amounting bitterness can come to a point where it actually hinders one's relationship with God. im so Determined not to ever let such silly nilly things affect me anymore. feeling greatful to serene for just allowing me to cry and cry today (:
today, i let go of all my past bitterness and unforgiveness both towards Daddy and myself.
--

was just reading my cousin's blog. He's a cellgroup leader from another church:

"Once again, ive reached a part in life that i almost give up. If you read the bible, you wld probably be familiar with this guy called Job, he is a man that God finds him righteous. Satan tested him 3 times? and he did not fail the test despite the loss of his everything. My point is not that i am like him or what. I am no where near that man. The point is that whether will i be like him during the period of testing. I thought i could, most certain i could. Then came the test. This test puts my pride, my money and my time on risk. First thing i did, i questioned God.. .. .. but i constantly reminded myself to praise God and give thanks for what i receive. i sat there and thought to myself how can i give thanks for this, i asked God is this what he intended? May your way be done and not mine. At that point, i wanted to cry.. .."

such raw feelings and it exactly expresses the way i feel at times.
i feel that, the Faith that we have in our difficult circumstances is the most Precious form of Faith. (: am glad that i just so happened to blog-hop to his page. Really encouraged by Job's perseverance and sheer faith. sometimes its so difficult to understand, but surely God's ways are higher than ours! haha pardon me, ive been talking to myself lately.
--

played 3 long worship songs today for SPIZZA event. i am having five really hard finger tips now ): feeling EXCITED for our upcoming chalet and t-shirts (:
am really beginning (and also learning) to LOVE my own people more and more everyday. chatting with vera and sharmaine online now. Vera suddenly asks for biblestudy and requested for hmewrk! am gonna test her on the book of Esther this wednesday when we have bs(:
want to be a good leader and support to the little guys in cell but i dont really know how to. need to pray for wisdom!

Lots of people around me, talking about relationships recently. it made me realised that.. how come i dont seem to think of such stuff anymore?! HMMM maybe its because i have other priorities in life right now. i hope im normal (:

Alrightos, my GET-FIT and STUDY HARD plan starts tmr.
very interesting and packed week ahead.
Excited (:


You're the love of my life.

"hey, thanks for the talk last night. Feels so different after talking to you.. in a good way. hahaha.. it's really a gift.. You sound so happy on the phone.. hahaha.. joy is contagious too."

one of the things that keep me going..
sat at my house void deck just to lend a listening ear to a friend last night. i cant do much and i dont have many talents. but this is the only thing i know that i can do best.

feeling a little encouraged too. Thank youuu
(:

" If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance."
-Abraham Lincoln.

goodness, this song's stuck in my head! at least its no longer "thats not my name! thats not my name!"

ohmygosh, im influenced by kate perry/lady gaga/pink

super catchy Mannn.

i had a dream last night and in it, we were all back to school again. how i miss those times when we sat side by side in class, trying our best to solve mathematical sums. and Someone was there beside the whiteboard, actually guiding and teaching us how to do it. most of all, there was the company. people whom i could study and laugh with both at the same time. it doesnt matter anymore who calls me by that stupid nickname or who's the next irritating person to hit my head and wake me up. started my maths ystd and it really is tougher than how it looks. i forgot everything! i always tell myself that though its a high mountain, i can and i will climb it. but those little thoughts of failure always come back once in awhile to haunt me. i still hope that somehow my appeal can get through or perhaps a miracle will happen and i'll land in NUS? haha..
studied a little ystd with lana tan, Thanks for accompanying me(:
realy glad to be going for the meeting with lots of them last night.

many little events making me feel bitter on the inside, wish i could be better understood at home and have my own ways.

on a lighter note, im at episode 24 of Boys over flowers! yay so Fast (: perhaps getting over it is better too. less fantasizing and welcome back to reality man!

was singing 'love story' at 3plus am while walking to rachel's house and xinrui sent this through fb! very Nice piece (:

i attempted studying history today over at esplanade after service. but insufficient sleep made it so difficult to absorb anything.ended up reading new york issues of SEVENTEEN instead. it so makes me wanna go Shopping noww. so many things that i wanna get! cant wait for my next pay check.

met pam at 6 plus. goodness, we shared a 46 dollars meal at kenny rogers today. their macoroni cheese and pork ribs are Very Goood. :0) gave her her bday present which i wanted to pass her a million years ago. turns out that maggie bought a shirt and bikini for me. my Goshh, the bikini was on sale for only 3 dollars. she grabbed two sets man! haha aunty power.

i like music. really enjoyed worshipping today. feel like signing up for guitar classes so i can improve my skills but im not sure if i can balance so many things. forseeing a very packed week ahead.. i hope to expand my own capacity and lean more so on Daddy's understanding this week. and still, im awaiting for a miracle. (:


to err is human. to forgive, divine.

its been awhile since i last updated. feeling really groggy from insufficient sleep for the past few days. met up with my secondary clique on friday night :0) we ate swensens and decided to catch Angels and Demons at midnight. my gosh, we had 4 hours to kill so we just slacked at cafe cartel after that eating half-priced cakes and free bread. Haha. the show was alrighhtt but i was expecting better. walked all the way to rachel's place at 3 plus am, cooked maggie mee for the THREE Lazy bums, played tithi! ( however you spell that =/ ) and then xinrui and audrey left at 5:30 AM. played the guitar and learnt from rachel's bro while she slept all the way, left at 7 plus. i slept 3 hours and rushed out for jurong svc then cellgroup today.
Feeling really Tired!
"Boys over Flowers" is really nice to watch!! i think the violin guy is super Duper sweet.
my oh my, its 1:20 AM. got to wake up early to book seats tmr. i hope my eye-bags dont show!

meeting maggie mee the curly pok hair woman tmr, Excited. (:

had a very Awesome biblestudy at riverwalk, practised discernments today. Felt super surprised and embarrassed both at the same time to open my eyes and see the Teacher standing in front of me!

i guess this is my route, i need to study hard all over again.
oh God, how?
):

one of those nights when im slightly discouraged by past failures. and then geared up and encouraged again because i know that my Daddy works wonders.

06 Dont Forget.wma - Demi Lovato


feeling Duperb encouraged after hanging out with blackspot(: ystd's biblestudy at riverwalk was so different! our lesson ended much ealier than usual and my teacher decided to do some 'hands on' practical. we spend time just worshipping and waiting on the Lord which really reminded me of my first love. and, to love Daddy for just who He is and not for what He can do. my teacher later went on to lay hands on us. im, so Excited for my next BS CLASS! wow, Pst phil has a blog too. check out www.philpringle.wordpress.com

studying ystd was a like doing warm-ups before a 20 km race. wow i really need to get into the mode of studying and discipline myself Everyday! explored the wonders of make-up with nic's make-up set. Fibers really make my eyelashes look so much Longer!

alrightos, i shall sutdy today before visitation
:0)

i LOVE the tune of this song.

Hello World (:
its been ages since i last updated. everything's pretty much going fine. ive really been enjoying my holidays by slacking and going out. its Nice meeting up with people like rachel ho and blackspot ((: wanna thank my close buddies for listening to my constant whinnings and questions. feeling really happy for eunice and sarah the mushroom for their acceptance by unis! ive pretty much decided to retake my A levels. manymany doubts and thoughts going in my head by i can really do it if im totally hardworking this time round. i figured that its okay. im not in a hurry to get into a uni anyway. what matters most is that i take the right path, at least one that i know where i am heading to.
im going back to my place of failure but with a different attitude this time.
finally caught 17 AGAIN today with blackspot, i wanna watch Taken!! haha i know im slow. hmm, GAP called me down today, asking me to start work tmr. but i guess im gonna concentrate on my studying!
alrighty, my sorting out of lecture books and notes starts tmr! and then the search of good tuitions.
studying at esplanade and nic's gonna join me later on. Nice ambience with company. havent caught up with my Boss for ages and centuries. im gonna get into the studying routine now!
(:

Dear God, my future's in Your hands.