i like this picture.
says alot and it gives me a kindof optimistic feeling, with hope.

want a lappy and a camera which i can explore the world of arts with.
was just admiring some pieces of art the another day
it amazes me how an artist expresses his feelings through his art and then the many different ways we interprete it. i dont think anyone can truly understand the artist's train of thoughts.
its, pretty interesting (:

potluck today was not bad (:
there was so Much food today! totally unexpected.
consumed so many mashmallows with chocolate n brownie that i dont even what to think of the aftereffects. think its time to ignore those glances and hit the gym again.
i was Blessed today!
twilight's fourth book- Breaking Dawn by cheryl lim porkchop (: (:
THANK YOU so Much! (:
am not very used to receiving blessings but it was a pleasant surprise(:
bryan made a casual request of me coming up with lyrics for his song on valentines'
agreed so eagerly and Overconfidently, i forgot that ive zero experience in such things.
got to start wrecking my brains if he's really doing that song, hope it'll be great.


i was thinking in the beginning of the day. doing Alot of thinking.
thinking of cell, of my own desire as a worhip leader and the many other things which ive desired and never gotten the courage to do anything about it.
leaders make things happen, they dont just sit and wait for things to happen.
thats what ive learnt from talks and sharings.
but things fell into place quite well in a very unexpected sort of way.
i think Daddy really works in a very natural way, just like what i learnt in CL that discipleship takes place under very natural circumstances.
i think Daddy has really Always been trying to help and teach me all along.
i know that im not perfect or good enough because i dont try hard enough. i know it because sometimes i just dont put in my all- for all the different reasons.
but time and again i see that despite so im given opportunities, new hope again.
such Grace and mercy,
i can never comprehend.
but i find myself standing in awe again.

im just starting on the book of Ezekiel, like a young toddler, i dontknow much about the story behind.
but from what i know so far,
Ezekiel is a prophet. he walks Very closely with his Lord.
like a close friend and brother, its like whatever troubles or advices or joy he just turns his head and God is there- they very person whom he wants to share his feelings with.
and Ezekiel sees visions like no other. okay maybe among the characters whom ive known so far. i mean, his experiences with the holy spirit is so Personal. its Life Changing.
i want to be like Ezekiel.


ive got a new tuition job recently
a primary school kid from children church.
but the family condition is tight and she has a lil mental condition.
90 bucks for 8 lessons, an hour and a half each session.
not very big money but i want to help. and i think i should give it a try.
for exposure and experience, maybe it'll even be of some help on the psychological aspect.


waking up early tmr to book seats with eunice.
first time doing so,
i hope we get Great seats tmr!


Sweet Dreams
(:

had Fun staying over at lana's place.
squeezing on the bed with her and Angeline aw the watermelon!
visiting ah soon in SR and swimming and lots of eating.
(:

i need some rest for now.

and finally after more than a week of no work,
its back to work tmr.

i Want a lappy of my ownnn.


dear God, i miss you so much.
i feel like a little child.

my cousin is Sec One!
do i look older? (:

HAPPY CHINESE NIU YEAR (:


doing visitations is so tiring esp when you're feeling half awake.
i felt like a walking zombie today.
but was so Happy to see my aunt whom i havent seen in a gazillion years today.
she said i slim down!
:D
played a lil with my cousin's son
he is just FOUR years old, Superb CUTE. we played aeroplanes together (:

just one more day of visitation and i'll be free.
YAY, no more having to dress up or anything like that.

was just thinking about our subzone musical today,
EXCITED(:

and i Cant wait to start my church ministry- children church!
Nic, *hints, Hints, HINTS!*

Misses and KISSES! (:
--

it feels weird to use the comp without music.
my comp's been having problems of late, i cant even see youtube now!
haha

ystd's sermon was just Awesome.
im so amazed by pst kong, it makes me feel really proud and Happy because of the fact that he's my pastor.
((:


gymed with nicolette a couple of days ago at yishun area
didnt know the facilities there are like a Thousand times better than those at bishan
plus the Bigger toilets n bathing rooms
think im gonna go there frm now onwards -maybe!
basketball in the night all the way till 1 am with church ppl.
it felt so Great to be playing bball again!
stayed over at ah soon's place and Angeline and i had to squeeze into one small bed.
halfway through at 4 am plus we were both STARVING but soon liyun just refused to allow us to Eat.
i practically dreamnt of food that night la!
seriouss, i dreamnt of the pasta, Aglio Olio.
Hahahaha

my whole body's aching,
butt cheeks, calf muscles, upper arms, fore arms and even shoulders too.
ive no idea why.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!
am so looking forward to the big Ang Pows
:D :D :D

after yesterday's survery, i am 60 bucks richer in my account.
it was good money in the making.
even the refreshments, 'cept that the pizza was too cold.
i regret eating those nuggets and pizza though.

now i sound like a donkey all over again.
):

someone commented that i sound like a DONKEY today.
a Donkey??!

watched the ends of "wild child" and "camp rock" all the way into the night yest.
eunice's ipod is so entertaining!

i lost my voice.
its not even anything near to sexayee,
it sounds, Masculine. ):
--

when the stage is bare tonight, theres no one else, just You and me.

was just reminded of a personal revelation. its like a constant theme in my life recently.
or rather, i want to make it my theme.

" But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you"
- Matt 6:33

i feel like at the end of the day, when all the events and ministries and hanging out with friends and gatherings cease,
Daddy is still my one and only secret hiding place
where i can go to anytime of the day
and where i can be the most transparent.

when the curtains close behind, theres no pretense im on my knees.

plus, the verse says "and All these things..shall be added"
ALL shall be added, i have nothing to worry about now.
(:


--


bball friendly match is on this wednesday.
OH BOY, i cant even rmb the last time i touch the ball let alone dribbling it.
and, jersey means flashing of the Flabby ARMS.

i just realised that eunice, our dear mother bear has superb small eyes- even smaller than mine!
haha she's So CUTE.
(:

had a massive dream last night.
dreamnt of a couple of familiar ppl like cheryl n elisha.
and my mum nagging at me.
thank God for that dream, it woke me up!
if not i wld have been late today.

had a long day, packed with two prayer meetings and one cell session today.
my fingertips are hardened now! but at least they're no longer purple.
think i shld be bring my own guitar out the next time.
better to lug a heavy object rather than being unfamiliar with other guitars.
thought the prayer meetings were Greaat today, but if only we had more time(:
OH, finally completed CL with eunice today. today's bs was on discipleship.
i dontknow, but i feel really happy to see our new addition in helpers' pm and all the other extra servings.
i shall not be complacent,
it has all only just begun.
(:


i lost my voice today.
it gets on my nerves when i cant sing-a-ling along during praise n worship ):

TAN HANSHENG finally called from camp again after almst a week of mia.
we're missing him.
cant wait to see how he looks like with his Botak head!


im, craving for SUSHI.
Sakae SUSHI.

my bro's friend is staying over tonight.
he's busy trying to tune our classical guitar -which is older than me because i refuse to lend him my guitar.
am i very selfish? ):
now i feel BAD.


let all earthly crowns, fade in the shadow of the cross.

i really need to be less angsty at home no matter what happens.
ever since Rev John Bevere's sermon on honouring, i find myself stopping at my own faults
at least once a day.
he did such a great job on the message, it really bothers me now everytime i find myself dishonoring someone around me.
and so, my bro has found a job in church. with a monthly salary of 600 bucks.
i can feel the unpleasant vibes let alone the disapproval thats pointing at me. not good enough.
it seems like my current job is not enough because sometimes it hardly covers for half a week.
sometimes i really dontknow whats expected of me.
work but i cant come home late. if i stay home i cant use the comp all the time.
is it just me or is it really tough to be a good and filial daughter.
okay fiona, THAT IS NOT THE POINT. please STOP complaining.
i need Cash. really badly.
to prove that i can do as good. and hopefully even living off myself.
i even feel bad for taking money now.
and i need cash for AnB. this one's out of my will and i really do want to give, but i need to find the means.
Less angsty, less angsty.


work has been fun recently.
Clarence is really Irritating! but i have to admit that having a cranky manager who works in the same shift is really Fun.
the other days without tofu or my cousin are just plain boring.
last wed when we were on the same shifts, he actually washed his hands and flicked the remains of those dirt water at My Face.
what the?! as if once wasnt enough, he just kept doing it again and again.
but at least i had a chance to get back at him.
he actually had to remove his specs to wipe those water droplets away.
i so Enjoy getting back at this Assistant manager :D
Charlie is getting creepyy.
i know it sounds evil and mean but he is over-friendly.
i hope tofu and i arent too cold towards him.

chatting to lana in the afternoon was so funny LUH!
we were searching for jobs through classified,
we found jobs that were looking for bridal models!
students also can pass, they need bridal models for their new portfolios.
ohmygosh so COOL. haha think about it man, not only do we get to have studio shots, we get to have fun and paid too! it was temptingg.
but we figure it wld be so weird if the pictures really got shown in those bridal albums!

finally got down to some household chores.
did some ironing and cleaned my room.

"breaking dawn" twilight's fourth book has been Out-Of-Stock for Forever.
i cant finish reading my twilight series LUH ):
visited the library a couple of days ago, am so into the whole series of FEARLESS books again.
reading is gooood. i shall make my kids read more nxt time (:

finally mustered the courage to head to the pool and swim alone.
7pm and the pool was Full of kids from swimming classes.
managed a small number of 20 laps but i still dont have enough courage to swim without the wall.
ah, healthy lifestylee. wanna loose 5 KG!


massive guitar-ing tmr,
i better go practise now!



sweet lullaby.

after much typing n backspacing n typing again.
im left with no more time to finish this.


i am freaking Eighteen going on Nighteen.
when is this going to end?
please understand me as much as im trying to understand.

oh gosh,
i need more Patience.


giveme more patience+perserverance+LOVE.

thought we would be stronger than such issues.


slides at the pool was rather Fun today! (:
except for the fact that there were so few people, such that it felt a little weird to be the only ones playing.
i need a new pair of goggles!

finally spoke to gradys in ages and centuries.
i MISS HER.
and i miss her staying near my area. ):


think i shld start cleaning my room sometime this week.
my A level books and notes are still lying around.
HA Ha ha.

almost accepted a ride home on a motorbike after wrk ytd
if my cousin hadnt given me that half shocked n speechless look
it was Classic. haha!

sky-high transport fees are burning my pockets real badly
i am feeling the PINCH. ):


and without love all else said wouldnt count.

what a simple yet complicated word.
it seems like our cell theme for the whole year round.
and it basically summarises my whole life now.
the good and the bad.
wanna be a love fountain!

swimming today at anchorview ( haha however you spell that)
OH,
i cant wait to watch CHANGELING!



being Bold.

i ATE so much today.
i feel like a COW.
i wanna swim tomorrow.
i wish that the pool would be empty tmr, no guys, no males, Nothing!

facebook is so Interesting!
:D

pauline and boon kiat's matrimony today.
so, Sweet (:
i rmb when i first stepped into this church five years ago
when boon kiat was the cell leader and he would come up to ah soon, liwen and me, talking to us like how we make the new friends feel welcomed now.
who ever knew that they would end up tgt in love?
i like the fact that my God works in many mysterious ways.
(:

i had a good time talking to nic today (:
cant wait for Swimming and Shopping on tuesday!

mm after hearing a couple of comments here n there
i realised that ive really kindof neglected my other 'social life.
maybe its because most of my closer friends are already in church.
but there are others too. from jc, secondary sch like pam and gradys.
its true that the closeness cannot be compared to churchmates but i guess its time i do sth and not neglect my other life.
make more time.

bumped into sandy today.
felt a mixture of pain, joy and worry.
i miss those close phone chats we used to have so regularly as well as a couple of bs lessons which we had. counselling, teaching and growing.
the seed which i sowed into her life, ive no idea where they went to.
its the same feeling which i get whenever i think of junle.
guess i really need to move on. in many different areas.
and hopefully some day we'll come to the point when i have another chance to sow the seed again.



more than a feeling.

i didnt know we could choose a new baptism name after being water baptised.
EEE, so NICE!
it wont be easy getting consent for water baptism
but i really want it.
cant wait for the day (:

i finally worked out after Ages ystd.
saw a couple of familiar ppl.
think the whole world goes to bishan gym!
small world, small world.

sushi with cell ytd was nice.

my bro has been planning real alot about his poly admission and courses.
makes me think about my own future.
oh MANNNNNNNNNN.

do you have the time, to listen to me whine?

a couple of nights ago was living hell. its become so ridiculous and absurd. ive my limits too. but thanks lana and angel for caring(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGELINE AW!

i absolutely love those phonecalls and just small little chitchats which we share (:thanks for bringing so much joy along with you.

sometimes i feel like its just ministry and nth more. it makes me hard to understand and be understood.

gymed.

Love Story - Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
See you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo
You were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go

And I said
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby, just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes, escape this town for a little while

Oh, oh, oh

'Cause you were Romeo,
I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go

And I said
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby, just say yes

Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story, baby, just say yes

Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town

And I said
Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said

Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby, just say yes

Oh, oh, oh, oh

'Cause we were both young when I first saw you


--


taylor swift is really pretty!

was talking to angeline the Watermelon last night.
temptationss. 
so much more than necessary
but i believe we can both overcome it!




its a love story, baby just say yes.

got tagged by dear nicolette!
okay, lets play TAG (:

Put down facts about yourself, the number of facts will be based on your age.
Then tag 5 other people.

1. ive reached a heavy weight of 59 KG maximum before! ( not that im proud of it but im just glad that im so past that stage now. and it was right aft i joined basketball can you believe it?! all that exercising for? )

2. ive a secret love for Art esp human drawings or sketches. im not proud but i think tt i can draw! but only humans and i cant shade ): sometimes it makes me feel a little jealous when i see talented ppl creating beautiful art pieces but actually its more of admiration for their talents(:

3. i tend to get attracted to well-built guys. but i myself am not very toned. HAHA

4. i have a very bad habit of borrowing things and forgetting to return them at times. OOPPSS.

5. long distance travelling used to make me unhappy but i tend to enjoy them now. gives me time for myself to think n reflect n wonder away in thoughts.

6. i dream ALOT. and many Weird ones too. sometimes it makes me excited n look forward to bedtime cause' its like an unexpected exciting experience. even a few of the scary dreams like the other time when i dreamnt of Vampires from TWILIGHT! :D

7. TWILIGHT is my very favourite book right after the whole series of FEARLESS books which i read for 5 years straight over n over again. ever since primary 5 :D

8. im a better listener than talker. it makes me happy to share the burden and knowing that i can be trusted with their darkest secrets.

9. but somtimes i have difficulty in expressing my own problems because of that. i tend to bury things and try to pick myself up. am still figuring that part of myself out.

10. sometimes i have severe moodswings. ask poor soon liyun. but im trying to be better!

11. i Love to eat Bread! and noodles! more than rice and porridge. and i Love brownies n cakes much more than potato chips

12. ive got a stitch under my chin! bled profusely after running and falling when i was much younger.

13. ive got a huge admiration for a girly senior before. and almost fell for a bung who sortof confessed but im really entirely STRAIGHT now. ( Jicai, please dont be scared for me ): ): )

14. when we were younger, my brother and i used to fight so much that he would end up pulling my long hair n i kicking his stomach.

15. when i was around 10ish to 14ish, i had this 'phobia of wearing dresses because my mother dolled me up in many dresses when i was younger. HAHA.

16. i like the idea of dressing up and looking good but havent really gotten the confidence to.

17. am in Love with shakespeare and literature!

18. i used to look up to mother teressa ALOT and wanted to be like her. and then i decided to be more practical and more honest with myself. she's way too noble! so i settled on angelina jolie instead. i still think that she's so COOL! to be both hot and fantabulous and Cool + adopting kids n donating to charity at the same time. (:

Tag : joby, liyun, hansheng, patson, and whoever else who wants to do this!

HELLO WORLD!

its the new year, new resolutions.
i havent really said an official goodbye to 2008 in my blog and a great Big HELLO to 2009
but im all ready to embrace the new year.
a couple of days ago, i finally sat down and made my new year goals n resolutions.
one of those that ive made,
is to really treasure those around me and treat them better.
not to take the things that i have for granted.
and always to be reminded of being thankful for whatever i have.
dear hansheng, i really Am gonna miss you when you go into camp.

secondly,
i wanna lose weight!
a high target of 5 KG.
hohoho, haha but im not gonna go to the extent of depriving my body of food anymore.
cause' i know that im gonna add on those fats again a couple of days after i stop dieting.
instead, i shall exercise Regularly!
since i like working out, it shall be a happy hobby or activity instead of doing it for the sake of doing so.

thirdly,
relationships wise.
better relationships with my family members.
to be a good daughter and able to express it out as much as i desire myself to be.
to swallow my own pride every now and then and to be more obedient.
its gonna be very Tough. but i know that if i move, things will start to change too.
i shall be the one who start this change.
and on other aspect of relationships,
maintaining the current strong friendships and probably even forming stronger ones (:
love wise,
being smart and un-tempted
and until i meet the right guy, staying single and focused on my greater calling!

fourthly!
of course, Spiritual wise.
it wont be enough if i say that i need a breakthrough.
because even if ive finally had my breakthrough, i'd still be needing or making more breakthroughs.
i want to, go deeper in every possible aspects.
already starting to dream and visualise alot.
but more than that, i really want to be much closer to Daddy.
such that through my darkest and brightest moments He'll be the first whom i think of naturally.
people think that im so spiritual but im not close to perfect.
Ezekial walked with God many times,
im not even close to that.
more of you and less of me!

fifthly,
im not too sure where id be heading to after collecting the A'levels results.
but wherever i land,
am so gonna not take my studies for granted anymore.
ive decided to study hard and do everything more than just satisfactory.
so that, can shine!

--

THANKSGIVING cell was Awesome today!
(:
currently feeling so greatful for what i have around me.
am so Touched esp by lana's and angeline's card and eunice's!
i love my star!
thankyouu (:
clarice's brithday party was a splash.
sharon is so Sweet!
somehow i wished i didnt have my p
it would be fun if we all jumped into the pool together!

i feel like, im AGEING.
its okay, maturity is, Goood(:


FINANCIAL BREAKTHROUGH!
):
i need,
a pair of good goggles
wallet
new mp3
my fourth twilight book "breaking dawn" :D teeheehee.


work is fun,
i made a new macho friend the other day.
and i was more than surprised to discover that he stays just a few blocks away.
small world!

caught "yes man" with patson.
it was Great! (:

work was surprisingly not as bad as i thought it wld be.
there was a new runner ytsd night.
he was rather slow but quite gentleman-like.
so there werent many sizzling hotplates to carry!
yes, Daddy answered my prayers.
it was somewhat comforting to see strong friendships and bonds.
was thinking of quitting a couple of days ago but i think im gonna stay on now.
(:


snuff it all out.
im trying look past things and spirit is willing too
but why do i still feel so bitter about it?