this ELEVENTH year,
im so thankful for who you are.
MISSES.
(:

a phone call from PAM really made my day today.
(:
i MISS her tonnes and tonnes.
and it felt so good to be hearing her voice
which reminds me of RACHEL too.

ELANA tan made my day today.
"i shall never let adversity get me down except on my knees."
thanks for that Verse (:
i felt so Happy to be receiving it from you!

mm studied today at lana's club.
im so Inspired after hearing about the brothers' overnight prayer meeting!
it brings back memories of how we used to have our very Own too.
shall arrange out very own one soon
(:
i CANT WAIT.
anyhow, jicai was sleeping so soundly while we studied today.
i Want to go for tmr's PMMMM.

was reading the bible this morning,
and i felt that its really meaningful.

JUDGES 7:3-8
vs 3- "now therefore, proclaim in the hearing of the people, saying,
'whoever is fearful and afraid, let him turn and depart at once from
Mount Gilead'." and twenty-two thousand of the people returned and
ten thousand remained.
vs 7- .. "by the three hundred men who lapped i will save you, and deliver the
Midianites into your hand. let all the other people go..

what happened here was that God was leading Gideon to fight a battle
and Gideon had lots of men with him.
but out of this huge number of men, God was choosing the
Right kind of people to go into the battle and claim victory.
Daddy, was choosing the people whom He thought was appropriate in this battle.
He didnt just allow anyone and everyone to go into the battle.

this really impacted me.
just like the verse which goes:
"for many are called, but few are chosen" - Matt 22:14

its true that Daddy gives everyone talents and spiritual gifts and all.
everyone has it in them
but very few are chosen because of how they react to things.
its their faithfulness in the little things that matters,
and their perseverance that makes a difference.
i, really do one to be one of the few who are chosen.

vs 16- the people here went into the battle Not with swords and amours
but with trumpets and pitchers and torches.
who, in the world would go into a battle fighting with only these equipments for defense and offence?!
i mean, Seriously. i would think that they are nuts to do that.
but its really the FAITH that we see here.
the people just went in a peaceful state of mind,
without even worrying but entrusting God totally.
and those trumpets that they carry,
were to make a joyful noise unto the Lord!
i, really want to be like that the next time i find myself in a battle.

i want to impact myself, and my opponents.
as well as those who are watching this battle that im fighting.


You are Beautiful to me. (:

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
-PS 73:26


leadership conference was so Amazing yesterday.
i feel so Blessed by the word! (:
and so was bible study with Leila,
i felt so thankful that i had it yesterday.

the devil is one smart chap.
he sure knows when to come and when not to.
of course, it wasnt easy for me at all.
having to receive Numerous calls from home,
even as i was listening to the sermon last night.
but im not here to complain or describe how tough my going has been since the early years.
im just here to testify of Daddy's really unconditional love.

it Always has to happen.
everytime i make a personal decision to hang in there for my breakthrough,
or everytime i renew my faithfulness in God,
there wld definitely be chaos at home.
small trifle issues like not closing the main door would spark into huge conflicts.
but its okay,
now that im used to it and know what to predict.
i felt a kindof peace lingering in my heart last night as i rushed out of church and journeyed home alone.
i knew what to expect at home, but its Okay.
because Daddy's with me and true, the devil can be really strong.
but Good triumphs over evil eventually anyway.

"everytime you manage to come out from a trail, there would be a certain anointing."

because there is a breakthrough somewhere.
and i really do want this anointing.
its amazing how my bus took no delay to come and the speed it was travelling at,
those werent the norm.
but i know that Daddy's helping me.
it Wasnt easy not talking back or fighting back my tears or just controlling my emotions.
but i managed to do it last night
and my brother was the first person whom i shared all these with last night at home.
im just thankful for all the little things God has seen me through.
i know, i can never come this far without Him.
--

chatted with nic last night,
busy trying to convince her to BATHE.
that auntie was so dirty and lazy la!
haha.
and then i spoke to steamed pork for an hour plus
(:
headed to bed only at 4plus in the morning.

MANN, i wanna join you guys for PM this morning!
but its okayy, sure attempt for the next two days (:

ohh,
yesterday, i was rushing up the flight of stairs from B4 to level one in church.
there was only this guy and me in the whole flight of underground staircase.
so when we finally reached level one,
he opened the door and left.
while i, on my way up i saw my reflection and went to tidy my hair and everything.
how was i to know that the guy was waiting for me all along?!
he was standing there, holding the door for me
and i didnt even realised it,
while Zi-Lianing in front of that reflection, in front of him as he waited.
so Embarrassing!
i was too embarrassed to face him after saying a thank you.
Haha.

OUCHH.
stomach ache ):
alrighty,
got to BOMB!

i never knew i could hurt like these.

went over to claudy's place today
studied with her and leo.
im in Love with her TOASTED BREAD!
so Addictive man (:
haha but of course, the company was Much better.
i enjoyed the catching up and all those talks claudy (:
we better work Hard to complete our remaining home work!
honestly, i have so MUCH to do,
i need to multiply whatever time that i have left
and start getting to work.

my GOSHH,
i wanna get RID of this Irritating pimple thats growing on my Left Cheek!

lana, pork and smallballhead and nic were studying tgt today.
so Nice to know that we're always hanging out tgt constantly (:
i cant wait for the weekends!
--

sometimes it gets so tiring with you,
i wish you knew how i felt.
its difficult to be patient and giving in all the time.
maybe i do need some reassurance in this friendship at times
to keep giving me the strength to
hold on.

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

this song is so touching,
i almost Cried while listening to it over and over again.
if not for the many conversations popping up on msn.
Haha.

i wish, i could say those words to you.

spends his time alone in the basement with a guitar.

i wanted showed that i bother coming home early today.
but anyway,
happy Fathers' day Dad.

i have a really Crazy cellgroup.
shall let the pictures do the talking (:
haha














dreams and visions are piling on the inside of me.
but First,
i know that it all has to start with myself.
knowing that i cant expect them to be perfect in the different areas when i myself cant even do it.
i see that there are so Many things awaiting for me to conquer them,
breakthroughs after breakthroughs waiting for me to make some kindof move.
i guess,
i am only in the position to Nag at others when i myself have done them faithfully.
things like bible study and quiet time and praying.
leading a christian life can be so Exciting indeed. (:
because, a smooth life's gonna be so Boring afterall huh.

ONE more week left and..
HELP
)':
i havent been studying at all.
im so SCARED.
because everyone must have been studying
and even if they didnt,
this june hols was supposed to be time to catch up with the Average students.
i wanna be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath.

lots of WANTS that i have too.
beloved Brown FOSSIL watch!(:
sling leather bag (:
and straight cut jeans.

wow OH wow.
i just ran approximately 3km just now.
now i really do Undderstand that having ABS is not an easy task.
):
OKAYY, i have so Much to work on.

gonna Swim and then study at claudy's place tmr (:
looking forward!

king lear:


















theres something about you now.

im feeling, GREAT tonight.
and Loved (:

truly,
it was a really Tiring and Trying period for me.
to plan and organise and be part of it at the same time,
with other problems bugging in my life.
but the sermon today did impact me somehow.
if im complaining all the time, then the person im serving really isnt God but myself aint it?
because if i were to serve Daddy wholeheartedly,
it would be one out of compassion without feeling tired because then my source of strength would be from a source thats everlastingly strong.
anyhow,
today was Great (:
with trembling arms and a slightly shaky voice,
i found myself singing into the mike during worship today.
but the experience was good
and truly, i felt so honoured to just to be
serving, in the house of God.
(:

thank you God, for everything.
for using me.

i felt so Humiliated today during "UNLEASH"!
the catwalk and talentime and everything else,
though our group's performance was quite ruined..
HAHA. it was Great just having fun with the right people
:D

Fellowshipped after everything ended.
i LOVE my cell mates (:
haha

and from today onwards, am gonna blog more of SPIRITUAL stuff
because of people like
LANA TAN and CHERYL PORK.
haha

alrights, i need to butt off already
):
PICS TMR!

you are my glory.

woke up with two red and slightly puffed eyes this morn from last night.
it felt so horrible then.
but i feel better now.
thank you ELANA (:
for being so timely and for just listening.
i wish i could be there by your side too,
haha chasing away that wild imagination of yours.

king Lear has been ongoing for two days
and i dont have this excitement to go for today's show.
its weird how people tend to exaggerate their dressing.
we're only going to the Library mann.
i wonder what they're gonna wear for their prom night.
haha of course this is just from my point of view,
i do know that i tend to under dress many times too.
BasketBall's bbq is this evening
and i dont know how to explain it to them.
cant possibly split myself into two.
i do Miss Basket Ball a lot as whole,
the trainings and all the people.
but i guess too many absence from these social gatherings have made things different already.
i feel so bad for turning them down almost all the time.

PM was yesterday
and it felt great singing worship after worship after worships.
im quite stressed out about the upcoming events and all
but hopefully this sat is gonna be a Great one.
was talking to God on my way hme yesterday
He didnt respond back back im sure He was listening.
i wish that Daddy would come down in a physical form so real, and be my friend here on earth.
a friend who understands and is just all about perfect inside out.
sometimes i feel so exploited by the people around me
but its not that i hate anyone of them,
in fact i do Love them.
just that once in a blue moon,
i guess its when my energy really runs out
and i need someone real to lend me a shoulder to lean on.
but its alright,
we're all gonna be fine.

its friday today.

"this is the day which the Lord has made; we shall rejoice and be glad in it"
-Ps 118:24


back to this childlike yet Strong verse.
i want to be a child, with childlike faith.

burning a hole in your plastic heart wasnt my intention at all.
i just thought that as a friend, or even as a close friend,
i should just tell you how i feel.
and,
i miss J so much.
i guess i really am very Bad in expressing how i feel.
dear God,
i need to take a break with You. not away from you.
but i guess, i really do need a break.
to settle relationships issue.
and so much more other stuff.

toured round bugis a little today with lana before the lit play.
bugis street has lots of nice stuff
its pleasant to go there without the crowd.
i wanna get my sling Leather bag (:
and changed the face of my Beloved fossil watch,
change my sports shoes at queensway too.
MAN, ive got so much to do.

are you there?
i feel so dumb and jaded.

ZOMBIE.

i feel like a walking zombie.
walking zombie is what i feel like concurrently.


i'm so EXCITED and nervous at the same time.

dear God,
i Love them a lot.
but im not perfect and i suckk at expressing my feelings.
please give me more love, more patience.
more kindness, more sacrifices.

more of You and less of me.

back from camp!
im so tired after days of 5 hours of sleep and being busy with all the different preparations.
for a moment, i felt like i was serving in full-time ministry.
sometimes theres so Much here and there that i got so mixed up
but often, i find myself heading to bed smiling a little,
cause' im a servant.
(:
mm, camp was Great.
we had our overnight prayer meeting in PL primary.
which brought back so Much memories of my PL school days.
i really wished i could turn back time.
i Love worshipping Daddy with a huge group of people,
the feeling is pretty awesome (:
and im so inspired to really pray more and more daily.
its really, your heart that matters unto God.
fancy words dont count for anything.
i felt it so real during our pm just now,
when jicai started praying that burden in his heart was so Strong.
i started tearing just by hearing his prayers.
Jesus' Amazing! (:
i came hme after such a long day and to find a brand new study chair
haha Praise God, more motivation to study. (:
i must be NUTS to be still up at this time.
its 8:51 AM and everyone's more or less too zonked out from last night.
we didnt even slept a wink last night.
my head's spinning round and round already,
OH MAN, and i just dozed off while typing.
haha OKAY, time to really rest.
talking about rest,
my head was practically resting on this old lady's shoulder during my bus ride hme just hours before and some man kept staring over.
it was so Superb Embarrassing!

mm i MISS JOBY.
i think we both need to talk to catch up with each other.
(:

perhaps its the raging hormones.
ayee.
Love is so Interesting (:

its so Difficult to be patient and loving all the time.
i really do want to love, love and just have More Love.
but sometimes its difficult to convey the message that i want to pass on to them
if i werent to be harsh.
how do i make them understand that sacrifices are needed to grow?
that if you really want something, you've got to work for it.
just like our own destiny is in our grasps,
the different actions that we take explains our different journeys in life.
i need to PRAY more.
and also, to birth forth people like liwen and cheryl.
im starting to dare to dream now.
of the amazing things that we can do,
of my own cell in the near future.
am so Excited for Unleash!(:

alrights, theres still so much to do.
leaders' meeting later,
plans for unleash,
settle guitar pm
and our very own pm for unleash.

wow wow wow,
im gonna and i need to,
STRETCHH.
but for now,
a nap shall do the re-charging of my physical energy.

greatest love that anyone could ever know.

You are the peace that guards my heart.

i feel reallyreally Tired.
been sleeping around 3, 4am for the past few nights.
and for no particular reason actually.
just lying on bed and not being able to sleep.
OH MANN, i think i have insomnia.
):

i wish,
i could be the perfect friend.
nevertheless,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY joby (:
--