I have moved! (:

http://fionandshrek.wordpress.com/

It's almost 3am and ive to wake at 6:30am tmr.

but i cant get to sleep.

in a self-reflective mode tonight.

sometimes i just want to sit down, lean back, close my eyes and get caught up in my own thoughts while the world around me spins away.

today i caught glimpses of that particular someone.

but sometimes it seems rather impossible that it feels like im trying to grip water with a vare clenched fist.

chasing donkeys. chasing so many donkeys.

On a sidenote, i just want to say ThankYou all you silent cheerleaders who have been by side caring and just wanting to cheer me on. thankyou (:

Could you find yourself a way back home?

Dear God,

what are your plans and purpose for me?

i just want to be in the right place where im supposed to be.

and to serve you and be happy.

And in the Darkness, there is Light.

there will always be light at the end of the tunnel.

SUNDAY, 07th Nov'10

laid in bed at 1am thinking about today's service and the cg, when suddenly God's presence came and visited me. i laid in bed with my head on my pillow and the tears just kept flowing. feelings of joy, gratitude of being loved. And then i just sat up from bed and knew that i needed to worship. and even as i type this, i can feel that kind of assurance from a loving Father.

God, i want to say Thankyou.

Thankyou God, for second chances again and again.

when i am weak you are strong.

Thankyou for Always believing in me, even when no one else did. even when i myself didnt believe in my own abilities. Thankyou for accepting me for who i am. Thankyou for being ever so patient with me. Thankyou for seeing my efforts and honoring the times when ive tried. Thankyou for crying beside me and not giving up on me. Thankyou for pointing out all of the strengths which i never knew i had. Thankyou for giving me visions and dreams, bigger then what i am. Thankyou for Your grace and acceptance.

You are more than enough for me.

Unless you are with me, i will not go anywhere.

God of my Youth i remember.

Take the best years of my life. and use it for Your glory. this is our covenant, between You and me.

Thankyou for filling up my lamp and giving me the opportunity to lead your people.

And Your love is for me, and Your love is forever.

Painful stomach cramps, hurts like crazy ):

wish i have a warm cup of Hot chocolate now. just that im too lazy to get up and make myself a cup hahaha.

ive been too lazy to blog in here recently.

lots of things happening here and there.

i just came back from a Wedding Matrimony! Johann and Pst Eileen's!

it was SO SWEET, happy and loving (: the Bride was practically smiling All the time. from the moment she stepped and showed her face for the very first time until the end of everything. love how casual and funky the whole wedding and pictures were.

This is exactly how i want it to be for my wedding (: skip all the formalities and worries and have fun in the process instead. and i want to marry someone who will make me smile so wide, beaming from head to toe on my wedding day. basically, smile until my jaw hurts la!

hahaha oh gosh, why is everyone talking about marriages and getting attached nowadays? SO MANY people trying to match me here and there, trying to sell me away is it?!

but i am only 20. i think it's still a young age so there's no need to worry ((: just have an open mind and keep my options open, no need to hurry!

met up with charms a few days ago. Miss her! (:

yay, happy time chatting and shopping! we managed to bargained for my bag at fareast from $42.90 to $35, how PRO is she? (:

love my pretty new slippers too.

quite an eventful weekend and i managed to catchup on sleep as well.

cant believe school starts tmr again ):

ogggayy, get over my esl modules and the week will be better!

Missing SOT so so much!

So afraid of history repeating itself.
So afraid of failures.

Have always wanted to learn the classical piano since i was young.

someday when i have more time and ka-ching i will make that happen (:

just got home from Visitation. visited some of the O levelers like sharmaine, junlong and nicholas.

feels like so long since i last really spent time to chat w them.

we really chat and laughed so much that we missed the last train home and had to cab.

but it doesnt really matter.

i think that's what ministry should really be, it's about connecting with people. more than just the attendance and numbers, relationships are the most important.

Brace up, fiona. Brace up!

spread your wings and fly,

soaring into the sky

and leaving everything behind.

i have just SO MUCH to study and catch up. i really need my time to be multiplied and be productive in what i do.

having 3 upcoming quizes n tests on monday, it's really crazy!

yay, touchrug training starts on monday!

feeling nervous bcause ive never really played it before, let alone competitively.

i can only do well in ball games but rugby is OVAL, not ROUND. it feels foreign. wanna excel and do well so i can at least score a lil something more in my portfolio.

AH, korean shows are seriously addictive. It's such a danger to even be watching them during school term, esp when all the papers are coming up. how i wish these happen in real life.

this is bad, i really need to stop gluing my eyes to korean dramas n snap back to reality!

HAPPINESS is a Decision.
i choose to be happy.

Last week wasnt an exactly smooth one.

did extremely badly for my Psy paper, 15/60 and my lecturer wanted to see me. of all papers, it had to be the mod which im majoring in.

and i mistook my Mus presentation for another date, resulting in a 20% reduction of my total marks.

):

its only been one and a half months and im already struggling to tread water in the big ocean.

i still have so many unadvanced plans like scoring and doing very well and being active in a sport cca for my record.

BUT, in the stillness, God you are always there.

thats when i got my little revelation that, Happiness is a Decision.

life is 1% of what happens and 99% of how you react to it.

i can make something good out of the bad.

Got back my math quiz tday and was so close to getting full marks! just a mark away. and the lecturer flashed my script as he taught us. of course there is SO MUCH that i need to study for psy an nutri in order to buck up. but slowly for surely, i need to pass my psy 101 at least! need to mug oh so hard.

looking at tight schedule, (giving tuition for fours days this wk) feeling oh so happy because i wldnt have anymore tuition classes nxt wk onwards!!!

...

oh bestest best. i just dozed off while typing.

wanted to talk abt the dreams which i have been having recently but i guess its time to sleep and wake early so i can start on my essay tmr.

good nights! (:

Happiness is a decision.

I love hanging out and spending time with leaders because they always inspire me with their passion. Always reminding me of why am i doing what i am doing, not because they sat me down to pinpoint all my mistakes but i can see it so clearly from the way they lead their lives. It's not about duty but love. Truly, obedience is greater than sacrifice.

Very touched by what Leila said to me today.

sometimes we really try and give it our best shot knowing that the outcome we desire will come eventually. but the question is, how much will it cost? she reminded me to take care of myself. We all try to do what we can and the best that we know how. but we sometimes, we shldnt be too hard on ourselves. someone else's strengths may not be our strengths. that's just the way God made us to be. it doesnt mean that we arent good enough, it just means that we are better in other areas. On our way home, Sarah teo kept emphasizing on the same thing. the first thing to do before looking after your members is to look after your own body. God's ministry is Your ministry as well, dont neglect your well-being!

ive really been neglecting my body these days. 2:45am and i just finished project work. from now onwards, i will head the advice of my leaders. stay happy, be happy. Ultimately, God wants us to be happy.

(:

Thankful

On the back of a motorbike, with my arms outstretched trying to take flight.

leaving everything behind.

More than happy to have a Caring friend and companion. Similar enough to be willing to meet at kap's Macs at 8am tmr morning just to study even though our class only starts at 12pm. i am so tempted to skip NTR lecture bcause its rather redundant but for her sake, i wont.

stressed and work overload plus a little irritated by one grp member,

but im more than happy to have a few great friends w me in school everyday. retarded enough to make me laugh over the silliest things and close enough to hear my fruitless frustrations at times. i dont need many friends, i just need good ones.

(:

Havent been updating, so much has happened the past few days, last week.

and so, i finally got my very own pair of heels! i feel so tall when i put them on. they are at least 3 inches high. Initially, i wanted another black pair of heels instead but jicai, elana and sliyun psycho-ed me into getting the higher pair which is brown in colour. they kept saying, "not high la, where got high?!" BUT when i really walk like WALK with my new pair of heels, woah killer manz. funny how most women are willing to pay the price of having plastered feet for the sake of beauty. i am not so foolish! comfort comes first (:

Went for B&J's wedding. they were/are so SWEET (: they acted out how they met and how God brought the both of them together, posted the video on fb. what an Amazing love story ((: the food was Fantabulously Delicious!! super high classy, it must have cost a bomb to have such a nice wedding.

celebrated claudy's birthday on saturday, threw her a surprise. so glad that we succeeded :D heh. spent quite a bomb on her bday present n on the wedding hong bao but its worth it(:

Was so exhausted that i gave school a miss on monday. stayed home to catch up on sleep and watched my korean dramas. LEE MIN HO is so handsome, gentleman, hot and cute i tell you. one day i will meet my very own LEE MIN HO!!! hahaha okay im so relieved that im finished w that drama if not i'll just end up being very unproductive for the next few weeks.

time check: 1:35AM i am exhausted. 8:30am class tmr all the way till 5pm and then tuition. okay good night world (:

pray for sweet dreams and see lee min ho's face tonight!

hahaha

Take one, two steps back just to catch my breath before i carry on walking forward. It feels like so Much has happened in such a short period of time. Joy of the Lord in serving, i never want to lose the joy of the Lord. I want to do what i do out of passion and not obligation. Backtrack a little, there is always something great in a small and humble beginning. Its not about the speed but the stamina.

Im coming back to the heart of worship.

When i get married..

it would be with White and Blue petals (:

I have decided

to stand up strong and learn to love again.

Sacrifice means giving until it hurts. only than is it called sacrifice. i will try my best to accept and love again.

finally met up with some of my sot mates to celebrate su's bday!! (:

(look at my eyebags)

i Miss cp especially, she's like a young mother to me. Cant wait for the next ldrs meeting at jw on a tuesday and when i dont have a paper the next day so sliyun and i can slpover at her place (: Uncle Brian's wedding is on 10102010, Exciteddd!

but i have nothing new/interesting to wear. been wearing lots of black recently because im just too lazy to dress up, just like the accessory do the touch up.

Having 2 midterm papers the coming week and one math quiz. i cant wait for shopping with lana tan on fridayyy. i will go High on friday!!

school is really..indescribable. i think ive started blogging so Much more than before, and complaining too, ever since school started. OKAY, you got to understand that uni really Isnt that bad. its just that blogging and having my verbal diarrhea really makes me feel much better after that so.. yea (:

laura came over ytd and we spent almost 4 hours doing diy hair dye! i did it for her and she did it for me. but the colour isnt obvious ): i should have just been more bold and choose the bright red one so the shade that i wanted will appear on my Asian Black Hair.

I need to study, need to study. but somehow i just cant find the motivation tonight. Soo tempted to start watching all the dramas on youtube or read my new book. but NO, thats like committing suicide la. gonna sleep early so i'll be more awake tmr. good nights!! okay maybe just an episode or twooo.

Haha you've got to watch that. it's actually pretty amazing and weird both at the same time.

The song which has been stuck in my head for quite awhile:

And when you smile, the whole world stops to stare for awhile.

Stressed )':

Omg, my nutrition book is such a killer. So ironic, here am i studying abt healthy eating n the body etcc and im stuck here eating candies to keep me awake. 5 chpts to be tested tmr and im only at the 2nd one. The chapters are so thick?! I keep flipping and flipping but the chapter is never-ending. Camping at starbucks now but i keep dozing off even in Public?! I really salute myself. Stressed ttm, i am officially stressedgurl90@hotmail.com )': boohoo, somebody save me. I wish i'll dream of all the qns tonight.

It was sport fest ytd and i signed up for trials for touch rugby and netball. Wanted to join a cca so much but looking at my tight schedule noww, i really dk if i shld.
Ah okay la, study study studyyy!!!!!!
GPA of 3.2 and above come to me baby pleaseeeee!!!
):
i can do thisss.

Bee-sy like a Bumble bee.

UB's timetable is so different from other unis in SIM.
There is so much verbal diarrhoea that i want to let go but..
)':
God please help me.
I wish people are more understanding.