sometime ago, i finally understood what my name meant.
F for faith.
"faithful fiona" was what leila would always say.
in her little cards or notes which she gave to us every now and then.
but together with faith,
comes along Fear.
Faith and Fear are really two extreme ends.
and at any point of time, you can only be at one side.
there are,
Many things that i really want to do in my life.
for example, just sitting down and Study.
but ive been running away and refusing to sit at my study table.
true, it is so Scary to know that you've so much to catch up.
its Even scarier to feel that you dont even know where to start from.
and everytime i pluck up my courage to do simple things,
i know that i must gather up my spirit.
because sometimes,
"the greater the faith, the greater the disappointment" at the ultimate outcome too.
sometimes i feel so far from Daddy that i dont even know if im going in the right direction.
but only to realise that it was I who didnt search hard enough.


Jesus, you are my BEST FRIEND.