Delay is not denial.

today i learnt that when Daddy delays your plan, it doesnt mean that He has denied them. dont ever doubt God's happiness for you life.

and thats exactly what i need to constantly remind myself of everyday. havent been meeting up with my friends recently, wanna do some catching up this week.. and easter is around the corner too!

oh Daddy, im so tired.

please multiply my sleep and give me the strength.

thankyou, Amen.

oh God, more of you and less of me.

SOT is good (: i really need to slap myself wide awake, still drifting inbetween consious and unconsciousness. even though i see other people dozing off at times too.. this shouldnt be the case!! im working and paying for it, really got to make it worth it! anywaysss, i REALLY NEED a RETAIL THERAPY ): i wanna shop carefreelyyyyy!

sometimes in my heart i feel a thousand and one emotions that i know i must constantly crucify.
why like that? why they dont respect me? when is the breakthrough coming? i cant do this alone?!!
but most of the times i just ignore these thoughts. because i know i need to stay focus. if Daddy can do it, i know i can love these people too. just keep giving and giving and sowing into their lives. sometimes i just feel so tired, i take a break to stop and rest. but i know i musnt stop for long. someday.. they will love me back.
i cant wait for that day.
(:

AHH DEAR GOD,
I REALLY WANT TO GET INTO NUS.
PLEASE?

Hello (:
SOT has been good. really happy to be living one of my goals for 2010! this 6 mths, i am going to toally enjoy it, work hard and grow from it. and look back with smiles (: not easy though, been dozing off a little here and there in between, think i ate at least a hundred mints alrdy! need to re-adjust my body clockk.

very busy week! but for the upcoming one, ive a few goals:
-finish applying for uni
-buy sports shoes, hopefully!
-find a new tuition assignment
-adjust body clock
-visit the gym!


im Loving my sheep(:
inspired my them. sometimes they are my biggest frustrations. but also for most of the time, they are one of my biggest motivation (:

"This is the day which the Lord has made; i shall rejoice and be glad in it."
-Psalms 118:24


even if my heart breaks and cries, i will still sow these seeds of love. because in due season i will reap.

i am tired out to the Max. slept at 4 plus last night oh mann my body clock is rather haywire.
tuitioned at sengkang today after sportsday. super tiredd. svc tmr then nus open hse and tuition again. monday's sot orientation day plus meeting at night.
i need to catch some serious sleepp!
my interview is tmr. oh God, please help me!
Tiredddd.

been so busy this week travelling from places to places, i can feel the hole in pocket growing bigger n bigger already! and what a blur blockk, i counted wrongly on the amount of prizes i need to get. now ive to travel to ikea again ): seriously feeling very tried from doing so much without pple's help. sometimes i feel like superman. i just want to have my own time to worship and really wait on God as well.
But i will not give up. they say that when you find yourself complaining, its when its time to increase ur capacity.
well let it be to me.

thankyou for always believing in me even when no one else did.
thankyou for always having faith in me even i doubted my own abilities.
and thankyou for always doing the work for me even when i dont deserve it.
sometimes i just sit and stare blankly at things, thinking that i will not breakthrough this week. but you always do the works for me and show me that it is so easy. that there is in fact nothing to be scared of, nothing to contemplate or even worry about. as long as im willing, all else will fall into place. because you're Jehovah Jireh, God you're my provider.
so why then am i still hesitating? a moment im in and the next im out. and then im in again. i am such a timid, foolish girl.
i need to start leaving fear and living faith.

Dear God,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

feeling so nervouss. its the feeling which ive been trying to escape and avoid for months and tomorrow is finally the day. its scary how time flies, now is already march?!
dear God, please help my unbelief. i want to leave it all in your hands tomorrow.

sometimes i just wish that the earth beneath me will open up and consume me so that i can hide in there for awhile until im ready to come out again.

so many reasons why im not good enough.
sighhhh.

anyway, you know those songs that they always play in the bars or shopping malls. Sean kingston's songs are stuck in my head mann.




Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep gone
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay

Remember the first time we met
You was at the mall with your friends
I was scared to approach ya
But then you came closer
Hopin' you would give me a chance
Who would have ever knew
That we would ever be more than friends
We're real worldwide, breakin all the rules
She like a song played again and again
That girl, like somethin off a poster
That girl, is a dime they say
That girl, is a gun to my holster
She's runnin through my mind all day, ay

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' likeNa na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay

See you been all around the globe
Not once did you leave my mind
We talk on the phone, from night til the morn
Girl you really change my lifeDoin things
I never do
I'm in the kitchen cookin things she likes
We're real worldwide, breakin all the rules
Someday I wanna make you my wife
That girl, like somethin off a poster
That girl, is a dime they say
That girl, is the gun to my holster
She's runnin through my mind all day, ay

I can be your melody
A girl that could write you a symphony
The one that could fill your fantasies
So come baby girl let's sing with me
Ay, I can be your melody
A girl that could write you a symphony
The one that could fill your fantasies
So come baby girl let's sing with me

Ay, na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Shawty got me singin
Na na na na na na naNa na na na na na na
Now she got me singin

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay

"..for he who touches you touches the apple of His eye.."
(:

hello blog,
i feel so Retarded today. boarded the wrong bus on my way to tuition today. i started off at yishun bus interchange and 15 mins later im back at the same place. PLUS, just half an hour ago i slept and missed my bustop on the way home, ended up taking a long walk. TSK sometimes i get so irritated with myself for being such a blur-block. need to be more street smart!!

just came back from elana's play. she was the lead actress, feeling so proud of my bff!! ((: sooon's bday just past and its kenneth's bday today. so many birthdays (:
OH YA, talking about presents which links to money..
last night i got 'thrown' out of a cab bcause i was so broke ): could only pay by nets but i hoped onto one which did not accept it. i told the driver i only had 10 bucks to spare but he kept on driving and then stopped abruptly. think he was deliberating whether to be nice or not. but it wasnt a very good effort bcause he left me somewhere desolated! dark pavement and lots of trees. and when i finally got a cab, the driver made lots of wrong turns. the fare was 33BUCKS!! )): thank God he felt bad and gave me 10dollars discount. it was an hour later by the time i got home.

so in conclusion, with all these public transport problems,
IM SO GOING TO MARRY A RICH GUY WITH A CAR NEXT TIME.

"Therefore, behold, i will allure her,
will bring her into the wilderness,
and speak comfort to her.
I will give her vineyards from there
and the Valley of Anchor as a door of hope;
she shall sing there,
as in the days of her youth,
as in the day when she came up.."
- Hosea 2:14-15

sometimes i feel like jonah, the guy with the whale incident. always running everywhere in all directions except the only one which he knew he should take. and the irony of it all was that he ended up taking the path which God directed him to, wasting years of his youth for nothing. im glad that im not at that kind of stage but i need to stop running. ahhh! need to just stand still and bravely face the walls in front of me. -why are there so many walls?- and take a step of faith to give a shout of praise. and then all the walls will start crumbling down.. and down and down.

HAPPY VDAY AND CHINESE NEW YEAR! (:

haha i know im a little slow.
new year was rather boring on some days but im glad i still went for visitations. yea man, the ang pow collection can aid in my sot and building fund(: played rounds and rounds of tithi (how to spell?!) on the second day with my cousins. nothings else to dooo. caught Valentine's Day with nic too(: realised that we caught a movie last year on the second day of new yr as well. maybe we shld make it our annual routine. anywayss, the movie was pretty good but the two taylors' role in the movie were so extraa. jacob's still hot though(:

steamboat at nic's and stayed over at lana's house. chatted all the way till 4plus Am before we fell asleep. having itchy rashes! ): think it must have been the vodka. magarita doesnt leave this kindof effect. think i might be allergic to vodkaaa ):
got two new tuition kids! started one ytd and starting the other in an hour's time. yayy im gonna bai nian to the parents, hopefully will get ang pow in return :D


dont wanna be a weak fighter anymore.

when you are slim and you have loads of cash in your hands for shopping, i think that must be one of the best feelings one can ever have!!!!


waiting seems to take forever but i will be patient.

sec one tuition kid kept farting today. he's getting on my nerves!! everytime i asked him to do an english assignment he will sneak peaks at me and give this *raise one eyebrow chi go pek look. i dont know if he does it purely to irritate me or .. aiyo!! ):

anyways, i just made an Amazing discovery. my favourite pop star is indeed HOT stuff. so spiritual and cool man! (: check it out: http://www.alivenotdead.com/vannesswu
go read his blog entries and you'll be amazed!!
see, told you VANNESS WU is awesome.
hahaha sorry, but i just cant help it.


im trying to overcome myself everyday. greatest obstacle is myself.

gave 10 bucks to a man selling tissue. it felt awesome (:
trip to the dentist was such a torture today. 2 jabs on the gum and i can hardly eat anything now. AHH! wanna enjoy my new year feasting ): so many jars of cookies and sweets at hme just staring back at me.
was helping maggie with her video shoot a few days ago. felt so awkward posing and being her model. haha but it was fun.

dental again tmr. SAVE ME ):

dear God, how?
)':
you have so much more faith in me than i have in myself.
can i really do it?



)':

i am jobless again! ):
due to the change in expectations which are much more demanding and unreasonable now. decided to take a leave before they exploit us. but now ive to go on tuition jobs hunt again. well at least i dont have to make a gazillion phonecalls ever again.

went to vera's today. had an awesome time with her and sharmaine! visited their sch ytd too. love the feeling of having everyone there. and the thought of revival just makes me excited on the inside. wow we are really growing. mixed emotions. worries and anxieties but God is good (:

just realised that "the legion" has already been showing for awhile. so many nice movies coming up too. wahh i wanna watch! Miss maggie alot. wish she doesnt have to go overseas ): but if she does, i really want to climb into her bag and follow along.
feeling really exhuasted physically n mentally. so tireddd, time for bed!

sweet dreams (: