i used to have someone always proudly declaring to me that i was her bestest friend, though i've never assured her that she held the same position in my heart. there were so many close ones, i cant tell who's the best. to me, best means always being there without fail and sharing all my happy and sad. because that specific person is different from the rest, i set very high expectations of that someone. its like that little action she does can make me alot more happier or sad just because she is my Best friend, the one whom i care most about. i dont want to unconciously set all these standards in my heart and wound up disappointed. that is why ive since stop the idea of having a Bestfriend. a circle of close friends would be good enough.
we are Worlds apart. i just cant find the right way to express it. different environment different beliefs different interests even. honestly, ive thought about letting go manymany times. but giving up isnt and will not be an option for me. wish i can forgive and overlook like i used to. wish i was more understanding and assuring too.

i studied at the library's cafe today, bought hot chocolate n a muffin. guess the lady at the counter was really bored, she kept looking over to see what i was doing even though i was just studying. yes i sat at the table near the cashier, should have chosen a better spot. midday, bumped into yoke kuan n weatherly, they were having bs! time is running out, i tried to study today but my short attention span really isnt helping. only completed maths n the basics of nationalism AGAIN. keep going back to the start of the book because my memory keeps failing me and ive to read, understand n memorise all over again. ): left the library and i was really intending to head hme. but i noticed the newly opened COTTON ON in the shopping mall. haha God must have heard my desires. because i was really thinkin abt heading to woodlands just to look at Cotton on for clothes. -this is called desperate shopping when you've got no time Okayy. and woah, the shop just appeared in front of me. it was never there before. i know it because i go to the shopping centre often. it must have opened a couple of days ago! so anyway, tried lots of stuff but many werent that appealing. bought a couple of pieces home. feeling a tad happier, now (:
should i visit the lib again or just stay home?

my plans to exercise and loose the flabs keep failing because im just too lazy to vist the gym. gym's much more effective because i always end up walking when i jog at the park. aiya, thousand and one excuses building inside my head. what if its crowded and full of guys? need to bring towel, sports shoes, bathing lotion and all, superb troublesome. but i know i cant keep procrastinating if not i'll really turn into a FAT POTATO!

sighh, God please help me solve my friendship, family issues and deal with my worries appropriately. aiyo, such basic things in life.. i really need to have better control and live life to the Fullest.
Hungryy. craving for long john's grilled chicken wrap.